NGPC was truly the Dreamcast of handhelds: fighting games, sonic, and the Cool Cool Toon/Jam dyad.
Well, except that the NGPC felt pretty good to hold and use.
i find the dreamcast quite pleasant to hold and use thank you very much
i think it’s an uncomfortable, poorly-thought out piece of shit.
much like the n64 controller.
Great triggers have been twanging for 19 years straight.
three-handled pistols at dawn
no controller gave me blisters like the n64 controller’s god-awful thumbstick did when playing majora’s mask. that controller can eat shit and die!
very rude
no i’m villain
Can someone explain to me the appeal of Crash Bandicoot?
It was 1996 and it was something to play on your friends PS1 when you were both ten
the save menu let you overwrite anything on the memory card because Sony hadn’t like, finalized their developer guidelines around that yet, so that was neat
missed opportunity not making the guy in the crash mascot suit from the commercials a playable character in the remakes
PS5 Announcement:
Styx is on stage, and Dennis DeYoung is the center of the stage and they start playing Mr. Roboto.
DOMO ARIGATO MR ROBOTO
PS5 wheels on stage on some sort of remote-controlled stand with wheels
MATA AU HIMA DEEEEE
PS5 starts driving around Dennis DeYoung
DOMO ARIGATO MR ROBOTO
HIMITSU WO SHIRI TAIII
Dennis DeYoung and PS5 dance around each other, fireworks explode in the background
YOU’RE WONDERING WHO I AM
(SECRET SECRET, I’VE GOT A SECRET)
MACHINE OR MANNEQUIN
(SECRET I’VE GOT A SECRET)
WITH PARTS POSSIBLY MADE IN JAPAN
(SECRET SECRET I’VE GOT A SECRET)
I AM THE MODREN MAN
Dennis DeYoung performs a backflip which turns into an explosion of fireworks, and when he lands, he’s Crash Bandicoot.
THE FUTURE WAS NEVER THEN
IT’S ALWAYS BEEN NOW
PLAYSTATION 5
FEATURING
THE CRASH BANDICOOT
GRAN TURISMO 8 OR SOME SHIT
GAMES GAMES GAMES
and then an effigy of Mario is lowered from the ceiling and is set alight by fireworks shot from Crash Bandicoot’s fingers.
MARIO IS DEAD
THE FUTURE IS COMING, AND IT SMELLS
INTRODUCING THE NEW PARADIGM OF INTERACTIVE VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT
SMELLOVISION
NOW YOU’LL SMELL THE ACTION
SMELL THE ROMANCE
SMELL THE ADVENTURE
Crash Bandicoot explodes into a billion pieces of confetti shaped like circles, squares, triangles, and crosses and the faint smell of strawberries overwhelms the room.
SONY PLAYSTATION 5
COMING WHENEVER THE FUCK
RIP DENNIS DEYOUNG 1947 - 2020
I feel like this is around that time when the Taz from Looney Tunes had that brief moment of inexplicable popularity
Mario 64 is credited as being a trendsetter for the future of videogames, but it did make one misstep. Each goal in Mario 64 is to collect a star, but the stars resemble shitty toys you get for a quarter from a capsule machine in front of the corner store. Very unsatisfying.
Crash, on the other hand, was giving you the goal of collecting treasure right from the first game. Each subsequent game then introduced a new type of treasure to collect, first crystals then ankhs you can find in a Reno giftstore that sells polished stones. Mario would eventually catch up in Sunshine, where the stars were upgraded to high definition 23k gold plated kitch.
It’s Donkey Kong Country style “rhythmic platforming” done in 3D space. Crash 2 is probably the best executed of the original trilogy.


