Mystery Science News Thread 3,000

Well the beard is definitely an improvement.

Can’t wait for Shin Megami Tensei V: Let’s Kill God Again Featuring Kratos from the God of War™ Series

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wow, that dante nocturne thing is so fucking weird

Don’t leak anything more. You’re advised.
JS_MNL

whuh oh

that looks like they stole assets from the dark souls pyromancer for the lower half of his body

Noah Gervais uploaded a new video five days ago that I somehow missed. He spends an hour+ going through the Wolfenstein series!

good thing we acted quickly and were able to sneak a peek at the riveting franchise that is god of war

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Haha that’s how you know it’s legit. Like, who cares? Everyone knows there’s going to be another God of War game come out at some point. Just like everyone knows there’s going to be another Halo.

now that would’ve been a good subtitle for one of the xenosaga games

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The Payne of War image above is pretty funny. I can’t load the website, but speaking of leaks, I want to point out that there was just a fake NX leak followed by a corroborating hoax from a third party to legitimize the first one, so nothing is real anymore.

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god of war more like god of snore amirite

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Niceee

Wad of chores.

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Ashura’s Wrath is the best God of War game.

They done Shrugified Kratos.

I love how dumb it is that Kratos just waltzes into other mythologies/religions now and I guess kills everyone thus ending the faith.

The end game to all of this is the Abrahamic God of course.

I shudder at the sex qte minigame that somehow every main entry has to iterate on.

Abraham raises the knife against Isaac, but before God can stay his hand, Kratos leaps from behind the altar, grabs the blade, and drives it through Isaac’s skull. Paralyzed with shock, Abraham is no match for the ripped Greek, who throws the shepard’s lifeless child into the old man’s abdomen with all the fury he can muster. The force of the blow knocks Abraham off the cliff side, but before he can fall to his merciful death, Kratos catches him by the arm, whirls him around, and crushes the old man’s spine to pieces with a pitiless knee.

“Heh,” Kratos snorts, as he hurls the two hapless Jews off the mountain. “You’re next, Yahweh. Send your host. Send all the sniveling angels in your pathetic retinue. You cannot stop me, for I am rage itself!”

[Press X to continue]

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after seeing the bit in that one femfreq video where you have to crush a woman to death in order to solve a puzzle, then get a cheevo for it referencing her sex appeal i went from “never gonna play those damn games” to “must restrain myself from destroying every copy i see”

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Holy shit that’s worse than anything I’d even imagined

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that new ultima underworld looks like a 90s cgi movie or a modern stonekeep I love it

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