Once again I find myself in the weird position of defending a Zack Snyder film as “actually not worse than the average example of its subgenre just inflected different.”
Though JUSTICE LEAGUE is almost certainly objectively worse than it would have been due to WB chasing marveltone and Whedon taking the reigns during reshoots, which makes it occasionally bad in exactly the way the Avengers movies were + tonal dissonance.
Some the things I like about this are smaller bits of Marveltone, but mostly I enjoyed how B. Affleck plays B. Man like a guy who’s got a little bit of a sense of humor about dressing up like a bat for 20 years. It is the closest we will probably ever see to Animated Series B. Boy Man ever being captured gracefully on film.
I think Ezra Miller does great at being a super guy who’s skill is really not in punching people.
It is really weird to me that The Flash on television looks better than CGI Ezra Miller
Ragnarok was pleasant. Jeff Goldblum should get a lifetime achievement Oscar for Best Jeff Goldbluming.
I think ~2 hours every 6 months is exactly the amount of time I’m willing to put into maintaining my own knowledge of the canon of a dumb fun primary colored fictional universe.
Worst images
It’s like they don’t even know they’re just a market being sold to.
They need to work on the “dumb fun” and “primary colored”
The first Wonder Woman scene confused me. It opens with her just standing on a giant statue of LADY JUSTICE with her sword and scales which is the sort of brutally on-the-nose imagery Snyder likes to wallop you with, but then in the ensuing fight there’s this hair-flip beat that’s super Whedon???
In any case there are in time Burly Amazons smashing support pillars with giant fuck you hammers in an attempt to protect a “mother box” from a giant man wearing thick, veiny horns on his head. Surely Snyder’s most powerful feminist statement since SUCKER PUNCH.
BUT THEN there are a bunch of Wonder Woman ass shots? Just straight up? This doesn’t seems like ol’ Zack! He eroticizes MALE bodies. Even when he had a bunch of women in misguided fetish outfits for the aforementioned totally botched assault on the male gaze/general cinematic clusterfuck he didn’t shoot them exploitatively. Zack Snyder has never before shown an instinct to frame shots of women for max ogleage so the gratuity of these butt moments really pop! Then there’s a joke about the clumsy Flash (I do like clumsy Flash, for the most part) tripping and landing face-first on her boobs then getting off before she can register and looking around nervously. I blame whedon
There is less bare male torso than one might expect/anticipate. Aguaman takes his shirt off a few times and when they resurrect Superman he explodes from the downed kryptonian ship’s amniotic chamber and out of half of his funeral suit. The pants stay on. For a time, his ridiculously swollen torso is quite wet. He is lassoed while shirtless and wet. He chokes Batman and glares while shirtless and mostly wet. Is this your fetish? The movie might deliver for you, gentle reader.
There’s a scene after where it would seem natural for the bat_man to be shirtless, you even get a peak of his bruised back as his shirt lifts a little. But the shirt stays on. It’s this weird semi-padded underarmor thing for bat_men and big rangy affleck with his fridge torso looks pretty awkward in it. One assumes they wanted him to relax and be free but he was too puffy from/floored by persistent alcoholism to show off the batgoods. So the weird undershirt stays on. Maybe in THE BATMAN he can just wear a long red union suit in his off time.
There is no crossfit, bat or otherwise.
Aquaman eyeballs an area with some tires in the bat_cave which might have suggested a crossfit setup but it could have also just been spares for the many bat_vehciles, idk.
Aquaman seems like he’d be fine on paper but Jason Momoa seems content to let his hair and tats and walk do all the work. He is Bad.
I actually liked the Flash and Cyborg quite a bit! Shit!
The Flash listens to… K-pop?
Joe Morton is there.
Batman ends up with Some Sort of Gun which is how I always like my Batman. He also wears a really lame armored suit at the end!
Alfred’s fashion is v. good and v. powerful.
Audiences Loved Wonder Woman’s Battlesmirk So Here Are Nine Closeups Of It In Various Situations.
Anyway they use the One Ring and make a Pet Sematary joke but then it works out and there’s an obvious place for a MARTHA callback but they DON’T DO IT (FUCK) and the Whedon Jokes delivered in this sea of faux-gravity land really strange. After Superman’s resurrected and still hasn’t found a damn shirt but has flown clear to Kansas Lois tells him “You smell good” and he replies “did I not before?” and all I can think is that his pants are caked with dried alien chamber goo that’s millions of years old and just got hit by high voltage how minty fresh could be be?
Every time Giant Computer Badman showed up I thought of how much better it would be if they just stuck old Ciaran Hinds in the veinhorns and used composting to make him Giant Ciaran Hinds With Dumb Fantasy Axe.
Preferably in this outfit (he can put the hat on top of the horns).
Lady Bird was kinda perfect. it’s like, hey! a real movie! they still make those!
I already liked the new noah baumbach so much I can’t bear the idea that I might also like greta gerwig’s movie
from watching LB, noah baumbach is actually like a worse greta gerwig.
seriously, forgetting the subject matter altogether and the wonderful Laurie Metcalf, I was just in love with the editing! that’s where real movies get made. music for the eyes. the rhythm was perfect.
every trailer for this thing the release date is later and later
Still confused about what this movie is actually called and if it is or isn’t the next film in the I’m not there / I’m still here series
It is the concluding chapter of the where the hell am I series. for some reason it was called A Beautiful Day in france.
I am here to report that I am incredibly stunned to learn that Joaquin Phoenix did not play Robert Dylan in I’m Not There
the new joachim trier is up on torrent sites yay
it’s really good
