MUWT 2: The Quickening

[aggie]

Reggie is the fucking man

[Father.Torque]

IT is a movie about child abuse and my wife sobbed afterwards and I think I shouldn’t watch movies like this any more.

[shrug]

KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN URINAL feels like the longest movie ever made.

[notbov]

shrug

lets talk about the politics of this dumb movie

[shrug]

But Mr. President, there are also real people who are worth saving that use drugs! Think of these people!

[doolittle]

I was really excited for cowboy channing tatum why mark millar why

[notbov]

cowboy channing tatum is one of the greatest bait and switches in recent memory

[shrug]

It’s the same mixture of laddish cruelty and technically alright but bloodless, boring action you expect from a Vaughn/Millar joint but spackled together with so, so much unearned sentimental crap.

75% of this shit festival is spent is spent on soaring Spielbergian wonder over the existence of a conference room, etc

[shrug]

mark millar
why

[shrug]

I just wanted to see a movie after a bad week at work OK I didn’t

[shrug]

I mean I sort of knew what I was getting into.

[notbov]

the last fight is really well choreographed if you ignore the fact that it’s composited to within an inch of its life

imagine if they dropped the sfx angle and went full on “fuck you, one cut”

[notbov]

Elton John is the best part of this movie and he’s in it more than Channing Tatum

[doolittle]

Fuck

Maybe Pedro Pascal can be my lasso husbando?

[shrug]

2 of the Elton John jokes are good.

But then there are literally two-dozen other Elton John jokes.

[notbov]

Elton John popping into the robo dog’s POV is the high point of the final set piece marathon/orgy

[notbov]

shrug

we should have seen mother! instead

[shrug]

I haven’t really liked Jennifer Lawrence in anything since Winter’s Bone. I don’t know if I want to go out of my way to see a movie where the camera is nailed to her face for most of the duration.

[notbov]

are you suggesting self flagellation at the altar of Vaughn Miller is preferable to JLaw in some batshit religion alegory

[shrug]

if you haven’t picked up the very particular patterns my performative masochism follows by now idk what I’ve been doing here all these years