I rented The Accountant on the basis of this post and was not disappointed in the least
He’s like Golgo 13, but instead of fucking he does math
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sold
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me too, honestly
I am very bored of cinematic fucking so yeah
Give me Western seinen flicks.
I was going to watch THE ACCOUNTANT on a plane, solely based on Dracko’s recommendation, but then I saw the plane had a film adaptation of “I’ll Give it My All…Tomorrow” with a horribly miscast lead, so I watched that instead.
I really liked the manga cuz it’s pretty much me, except the protagonist had friends and family and I think he succeeds in the end. The movie was pretty OK as far as modern Japanese cinema goes. Like, it looked like it cost $3,000, was shot on a digital camcorder from 2005, and the lead was overacting and doing all this obnoxious Japanese TV comedy shit…but I still felt things at certain points. I still think it was an ok movie to watch on a plane. Don’t watch it at home or in a movie theater though. Maybe at 3pm on a Sunday in syndication when you’re visiting your grandmother. I know that doesn’t happen nowadays, cuz we’re all cord cutting…but grandmas may still have normal TV, and they may get channels that show old Japanese comedies on Sunday afternoons.
THE OTHER MOVIE I WATCHED ON THE PLANE THAT WASN’T THE ACCOUNTANT: COLLATERAL BEAUTY
I am 100% convinced Will Smith is either a monstrous sociopath or the most depressed person on this fucking planet, cuz nothing else explains this or the other horrible Oscar bait movies he’s been making lately. This is one of those movies that feels like it was made by aliens or some algorithm. It feels like the 2016 Clinton campaign. It’s just the most miserable shit and I’m sure people far smarter than I have written thousands of wonderful words taking this shit down so I probably shouldn’t even bother. I’m almost tempted to watch that movie where Smith kills himself in a hotel bath tub using a fucking jellyfish cuz I can’t imagine it’s worse than this. Nothing can be. But at least it was only 90 or so minutes long. I wish everyone in it had died at the end though. Died and left their billions to me.
should have watched the accountant my dude
i swear if you watch it as though it is a very creative retelling of the batman myth it is a pretty good yarn
The Trailer for The Guest is terrible but holy shit that film is great.
A S S A S S I N ’ S C R E E D is a v. serious movie about Michael Fassbender Playing A Videgame strapped to that robot eyeball from 12 MONKEYS
charlotte rampling is in this goddamn thing what the hell
the mental ghost of his ancestor spars with michael fassbender thus preparing him to go BRONSON on the screws when they come in to take him to another gaming session
michael fassbender mime climbs along with his ancestor with the aid of the roboarm
it’s a good thing he was already ripped to shreds before he was fake executed or michael fassbender’s back would def be fast ruined by the genetic memory regression process!
champion of freedom michael fassbender’s ancestor turns out to have passed on the ancient mcguffin to renowned historical monster/slaver/child rapist/cutter-off-of-hands Christopher Columbus?!
that’s kind of a weird choice
Everything is Permitted
michael fassbender achieves MAX SYNCH with his ancestors and talks to the mindghost of his dead mom who convinces him of the importance of the ASSASSIN’S CREED but is it too late?!
for a second I thought michael k williams was beating up guards with a spear but it’s just a staff
the climax is at a templar conference
jeremy irons is giving a speech
all the sneaky assassins sneak in wearing VERY BIG HOODS
14 minutes of credits