swords do wobble and bend tho (I haven’t seen this movie so I don’t know if the kind of sword shoved into dirt would do it but swords can usually bend)
in Real Warcraft blackhand gets killed by semi good orc doomhammer and doomhammer kills lothar but I guess in movie warcraft everything has to be more boring for no reason
also I can’t take human guy killing any orc seriously in this movie when human guy is a normally proportioned real actor and the orcs are all 10 feet tall and 1200 pounds of solid muscle
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ok so I’ve seen this movie now and all of the people who get killed get killed by the wrong person, except for one, which they go out of their way to do “right” even though it’s the one that makes the least sense in Actual Warcraft and no sense in This Warcraft
ok well I guess two of the deaths are correctly whatever
garona was always a stupid character and this movie falls apart in large part because she’s even worse here, to the point where her sheer existence doesn’t even make any sense.
but the worst thing about the movie, which anyone who has seen one second of any of the trailers already knows, is just how ugly and cheap and weird it looks. the sets are terrible. the costumes are the worst costumes I’ve ever seen in a movie with a budget greater than fifty dollars. the weapons look like cosplay. the magic is just giant blue and green smears of goo everywhere. the orcs have hands that are about as big as their chests, and while I guess that is more or less accurate to the spirit of warcraft, at some point you have to realize you are making something that looks fucking stupid
doomhammer is one of the more important characters in this movie and I’m almost certain he isn’t even named anywhere but the credits
characters say things to one another that legitimately make no sense, have no relevance to anything anyone around them was saying, or directly contradict something they said three seconds earlier.
the first thirty minutes of the movie mostly consists of sweeping shots of various places warcraft fans are supposed to cheer for
there are some scenes that I liked, even if some of them are immediately ruined. the movie could just be two hours of various orcs challenging each other to mak’gora and I would have been pleased
I’m reminded of the silent hill movie, which was similarly bad but also very earnest and steeped in some measure of the spirit of the source material.
how large are the pauldrons in relation to warcraft canon
Tiny
Minuscule
Nearly non-existent in comparison
this movie is deeply hilarious to me because Nerd Fans are trying to bill it as like, misunderstood and ambitious in relation to critics calling it poorly thought out and a waste of money + time
It can be both things and usually is
Except for the misunderstood part, if you’re trying to capture a wide audience and you don’t give proper grounding to things, you deserve to be shut out by those not in the know
hmm
by trying to bill it as “misunderstood and ambitious” in the fan reviews ive read though: they usually mean it in a way that is: throw out all criticisms of this movie and enjoy it because We Need This To Be Good To Prove That Videogames Are Art(?) or even worse, the Ignore Any Criticisms Of THis MOvie That Do Not Come From The Videogamers Because This Is A Movie Only For True Gamer
Well, neggy is a true believer and he tore the movie apart for being bad and breaking canon, so
the bigger they are the bigger a target their dick presents for your blade or so I have heard
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They can’t be but so big seeing as Garona heavily implies she’s been raped multiple times and she’s the size of a normal human lady
Orcs are like Michelangelo’s David
The opening cutscene of their 2006 game looks better than this movie.
I’m honestly angrier that there wasn’t an Overwatch short in front of the movie than the movie being bad (which was a foregone conclusion).
Blackhand even grabs his dick for like four seconds after this happens so you know what went down just in case you didn’t get that the sword hit him in the dick
Guldan even gives him super powers shortly before this fight for some reason, which amount to nothing. He also calls him warchief, which in the context of the movie makes no sense at all since guldan himself is firmly established as the warchief. It only happens because blackhand was the warchief in Real Warcraft and now they know that you know that they know
Gul’dan shooting Blackhand up with fel was hilarious because he just does it out of nowhere and explains what he’s doing so we can follow along. Almost as funny as the realization that Doomhammer spends the whole second (of two) battle standing over Durotan’s corpse, mostly so he can grab a tusk for Moses
canon
Apparently that flick completely smashed box office records in China. What a mysterious land.
Meanwhile shit I’d never seen more than bits and pieces but Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is kinda fuckin’ weird! Nobody has a stereotypical western accent! There’s a lengthy, still-image travel montage set to jaunty music that almost feels like it should be a video presentation in a museum! It also ends in a hilariously abrupt manner, or at least the part that’s funny is they unceremoniously send off the Lady (who decides she wants out for reasons??) and then like 10 minutes later the movie ends.
But I will say Newman and Redford had some really good chemistry, they had a good buddy cop dynamic which made the whole thing very watchable.
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Not that mysterious–WoW is huge in China and East Asia in general, and most every special effects laden blockbuster epic does super well there anyway. I’m pretty sure the Chinese market is how Warcraft got made into a movie in the first place.
Can confirm, the credits have a bunch of Chinese companies listed as producers (not counting Legendary, who are also owned by Chinese interests), including internet supergiant Tencent, who funnily enough happen to own Blizzard.
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