I mean maybe the second, but I’m not sure it treads any new ground at all
I mean, they’re all watchable, but we’re talking a slasher franchise-watchable.
Fall Guy (1982) went to great lengths to make fallow the good feelings I had for the first hour. There are two seperate scenes of our main character beating and kicking a pregnant woman.
Then the final scene is some end of a Saturday Night Live good times bullshit.
nah fuck you guys. You wanted me to keep routing for our hero after he kicked a pregnant woman’s stomach twice. wow I am mad.
Scream II and III are both terrible, but Scream IV is pretty decent.
And do stay away from the TV series. That’s some teeny weeny shlock right there. Not sure who thought the concept would work well in a TV format.
I can’t get Compliance out of my head, discovering that is a true story almost verbatim is too much.
At the end of the movie in the interview the manager’s actress while still being dumb and self indulgent at least subtly hints at remorse and guilt, but in the real interview the manager is such a souless robot holy shit
That’s reasonable upon seeing the movie as is but I was really taken aback after investigatiing further, the camera footage is available and all the worse things actually happened just like that.
POPSTAR has a very lengthy dick joke.
I mean the dick is pretty average but it gets a lot of screen time.
Warcraft: at least I didn’t pay for it
I honestly want shrug to see Warcraft because I want to see him type angry words over a bit where a soldier thrusts a sword into the ground and it fucking wobbles and bends and they didn’t even try to hide it and it’s right there on the side of the frame and fairly big
Also, seriously, the movie builds up to a duel between human sword guy Lothar and powered-up orc Blackhand for most of the running time and it’s over in like, 45 seconds because Lothar cuts him in the dick
At least an orc threw a horse
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No way, not even when Korean-subbed HD streaming rips start hitting them torrents surprisingly early. I refuse to–
FUCK
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Don’t do it
It’s not wroth two hours of your life
swords do wobble and bend tho (I haven’t seen this movie so I don’t know if the kind of sword shoved into dirt would do it but swords can usually bend)
in Real Warcraft blackhand gets killed by semi good orc doomhammer and doomhammer kills lothar but I guess in movie warcraft everything has to be more boring for no reason
also I can’t take human guy killing any orc seriously in this movie when human guy is a normally proportioned real actor and the orcs are all 10 feet tall and 1200 pounds of solid muscle
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ok so I’ve seen this movie now and all of the people who get killed get killed by the wrong person, except for one, which they go out of their way to do “right” even though it’s the one that makes the least sense in Actual Warcraft and no sense in This Warcraft
ok well I guess two of the deaths are correctly whatever
garona was always a stupid character and this movie falls apart in large part because she’s even worse here, to the point where her sheer existence doesn’t even make any sense.
but the worst thing about the movie, which anyone who has seen one second of any of the trailers already knows, is just how ugly and cheap and weird it looks. the sets are terrible. the costumes are the worst costumes I’ve ever seen in a movie with a budget greater than fifty dollars. the weapons look like cosplay. the magic is just giant blue and green smears of goo everywhere. the orcs have hands that are about as big as their chests, and while I guess that is more or less accurate to the spirit of warcraft, at some point you have to realize you are making something that looks fucking stupid
doomhammer is one of the more important characters in this movie and I’m almost certain he isn’t even named anywhere but the credits
characters say things to one another that legitimately make no sense, have no relevance to anything anyone around them was saying, or directly contradict something they said three seconds earlier.
the first thirty minutes of the movie mostly consists of sweeping shots of various places warcraft fans are supposed to cheer for
there are some scenes that I liked, even if some of them are immediately ruined. the movie could just be two hours of various orcs challenging each other to mak’gora and I would have been pleased
I’m reminded of the silent hill movie, which was similarly bad but also very earnest and steeped in some measure of the spirit of the source material.
how large are the pauldrons in relation to warcraft canon