MUWT 2: The Quickening


in 2019 there’s a movie where the ex texas rangers who killed bonnie and clyde are the heroes and, ya know, it’s not so bad. it’s like 2 hours of kevin costner and woody harrelson kicking the shit out of teens and teaching them life lessons.

edit: that makes it sound way more action packed than it actually is. it’s mostly just hats and sad piano music.


woody harrelson could kick my ass and teach me a life lesson but 9nly if afterwards i got to ask him how Defendor got made


canon to bonnie and clyde, true detective season 1, and space jam


While I agree that it missed the point of the original by 10 miles — I actually thought it was alright, as its own GiTS Gaiden sorta thing. And would like to see another.

I finally watched Creed II. As a big Rocky fan, I’m not sure why it took me this long.

It didn’t hide the formula as much as Creed I. But the casting is so good and they did a great job with all the character stuff, away from the fights. I wish they could have done a little more with the Dragos. and this was probably the worst montage of the whole series? I wanted to appreciate the aesthetic they were trying to go for with the locale. but the director didn’t put me in it. and I didn’t get any sort of sense of who Adonis is trying to be, during the training. And I was hoping for another one take fight. that fight in Creed I totally sucked me in. Hopefully Coogler directs again, on the next one. New guy was only serviceable, with the action.

Anyway, that might read pretty negative. I liked it. Its a solid entry. The action bits don’t match some of the later Rocky’s, but the family/people bits remind me of Rocky at its best, with those parts. And Adonis being walked in by Bianca as she performs his walk-in song, was a really awesome story beat for this couple.


I watched First Knight, for the first time since the mid’ 90’s. One of my brother’s and I used to watch it like once a month, for a stretch. Medieval stuff, I mean come on man. I loved all of that stuff.

First Knight is a take on the tale of Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere. It manages to carve its own identity in that the movie is completely missing any of the magic often associated with Arthur tales. Not even a mention that his sword is called Excalibur. Which actually works fine and could have been even better, if the movie had better direction and grounded more in the characters.

While watchable, its a bit of a miss, overall. Parts of it are effective. But the directing has peaks and valleys. and the script lacks character. Also, there is basically zero messing around with side characters. Aside from Lancelot, Guinevere, Arthur, and Maligant; virtually every other character is set dressing or an occasional word for setting and/or flavor. As for the main 4 characters: They have all the emotions in the bag and pull one out when the scene asks. But there’s rarely a feel that anyone here exists between scenes. A shame, because the cast is good. Ben Cross, in particular, was well cast as Maligant and its too bad the script wasn’t a little bit better. He may have been one of the memorable bad guys of movies.

But there are some things here which work. I only remembered bits and pieces. That there was some fighting, details about Lancelot’s childhood, the main badguy’s sword is awesome, and I remembered the holding cell in Maligant’s stronghold (he’s the main bad guy). His sword is still awesome and the other parts of his place are also awesome. Really a very cool set. Aside from that, the beginning third of the movie is pretty breezy and gets right to some fighting, like 3 times. and Gere is pretty good as a boyish fun guy wandering sword man, for the front half. The back half of the movie, his character feels missplaced as things get more serious. Sean Connery probably has the most lines and delivers them with enough gravitas. But he doesn’t do much except walk and talk or stand and talk. So I’m split on his role. He does at one point, cry out to god a really excellent “WHYYYYyyyyyy!!!”

Its also a bright film with some sunshine and pretty good colors. Costumes are just good enough and sets/settings are all pretty excellent. Lots of time in a ferny forest. Bad guy’s lair is cool. Round table room is cool. some decent matte paintings, etc. And along with that sunshine, is a pretty positive attitude. Which is nice, after all the grim darkness of the past 20 years. A nice uplifting main theme for the score. It also shows positively, all the signs of being shot on film. And with pretty excellent depth to the image in many scenes.

It is pretty amazing how much deeper something like Lord of The Rings could dig a few years later, for large scale sword fighting. I’m sure something else probably did better before then, but I rewatched that recently so its fresh in my mind. The director here had no idea what he was doing. Its serviceable, at best.

Also there is a moment early on, where a wooden bell tower is burning and falls over. For some reason, the editor decided to slow-mo the first frames just as it starts to tip, but then tips at full speed. It looks exactly like a video game dropping frames to catch up, as physics are kicking in.

Twice, the movie reminded me of Team ICO games. ICO, when lancelot is rescuing Guinevere from her holding cell in Maligant’s Lair. SoTC, during some horse riding through ferny forest.


oh shoot and like half the reason I wanted to post about it anyway:

Davos lookin young


I love what he’s wearing, but what is he wearing??


I think it’s my dad’s old work uniform with a car floor mat over the top and some dog tags glued to it


USS Enterprise casualwear


Here’s an ok shot of their costumes

and here’s a cool shot of the round table


I was way into King Arthur as a young child.

I hated everything about First Knight as a young child.


Did you like “Merlin” with Sam Neil?


I do not recall liking anything about “Merlin” with Sam Neill.


I think I liked 2-3 scenes in Excalibur.

Mostly I liked parts of certain books. I would go to the library and get all the Arthur-related books and compare them.

It turns out I’ve always been myself. I’m sorry.



If I recall correctly there’s a joke about needing a can opener to take a piss whilst wearing full plate in this adaptation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight?


I read Lost Years of Merlin book 1, when I was in middle school.


If I made a King Arthur movie it would be about that episode where he goes up to the bad French giant’s cave then cuts off his genitals and the giant gives him a big hug and they tumble down the hill the giant hugging and Arthur penetrating the now-dongless giant over and over with his knife until he’s finally dead then his knights roll up and Arthur is all “nah the Giant That Was Cooking Children Is Done And I Shall Claim Only His Head As My Trophy” but in my version he would claim his dick + balls and when he says “I have not had such a wrasslin’ match since I grapped a mighty Turk down in yonderland!” it would be emphasized he was probably talking about doing some gay shit in code so his repressed sexuality and his murderous masculinity are all aswirl the one sublimated into the other and the combat was not just against The Giant’s brutalities as an exemplar of the horrors potential in his warrior caste but also against his own lusts for big, big boy bodies so you see it would be

Yeah I know it probably couldn’t be stretched to feature length.


pretty sure the winterbottom/coogan/brydon tristram shandy production team could’ve tackled that next if they hadn’t gone on to make the trip over and over again


winterbottom’s a good choice.

he can do absurdist comedy and straight mood-em-up with equal aplomb

perfect for the combat removal of the extremely large dick societal mores conspire to keep you from, forever


the giant would be played by adam driver