I'd like to thank the Academy

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Things are off to an appropriately cringey beginning

Stage looks like Georgia O’Keefe Presents: Annihilation

Which is… Not as cool as it sounds

it sounds extremely cool

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Woooooo Regina King!!!

Samuel l Jackson scowled when he had to give an award for green book and then lost his Shit when he got to give one to Spike Lee

This is a good awards show

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Just read Bohemian Rhapsody won editing and pooped on everything in sight

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i made these to celebrate Hollywood’s most Glamorous Night

the top one has cha siu style tofu and the bottom one has taro paste. i haven’t eaten any of the taro ones yet because i was too full!!!

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and the award for oscar winner who looks the most likely to post on SB goes to

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They bring something new. None of us are into rings.

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that’s the guy who made this song

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That’s right folks it’s that time of year again, your boy u_u is back with the in-depth Oscar’s coverage SB craves

There are many reasons to tune in to Hollywood’s Biggest Night this year, chief among them getting to hear how every single thing anyone on the broadcast says about Parasite is going to be the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard, I’m talking guest presenter after guest presenter just absolutely mangling names, making incomprehensibly trite observations about the themes of the film, and patting themselves on the back constantly for remembering that it exists

you heard it here first folks

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I hereby dub this year’s celebration the “Italian Americans count as people of color, right? Oscars”

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you can check out any time you like

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i used to have fun with this but i think those days might be over

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I know that part of my resurgent… self is a response to current political culture failing to provide me an even remotely credible non-identity the way it might’ve in the past, but as much as everyone loves hot couch guy podcast shit, it’s like… this is not better, this is a reversion, it’s one I happen to be very well equipped for in the event of having to retrieve 2004’s defence mechanisms as an adult, but I would still rather it not be happening

Rooting for unproblematic fave QT to win it all

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the academy loves to give awards to movies that are extremely reverent to like old hollywood mythos and glamor so Tarantino is almost certain to be going home with some Oscar Gold

but Jojo Rabbit is also there, so it’s hard to say

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a very sad and petty part of me wants Joker to win, just because my parents have a tradition of always watching the Best Picture winner no matter what and I realllllllllly wanna know what my mom thinks of this movie

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