god, i'm so sorry (superhero-comicbook nonsense)


I always expect to have bad opinions but I didn’t expect to have liked the last one that much better and I think I watched an even worse pirate copy of that


yeah Bucky really hasn’t been an entity since the Civil War movie (though his one line at the end of Black Panther was good) and i’m super disappointed at his effective absence in the ending


they really don’t know what to do with that character now that he’s no longer a robo-murderer. i feel like they need to play up his ‘i was at rock bottom for 30 years but now i’m sober and just happy to be alive’ long hair vibes more.

sebastian stan is underrated though, it’s weird to rewatch the first avenger and then winter soldier and realize how effective he is in both of those versions of the character


what really sucks is they spent like 2 movies exploring the idea of captain america and nodding towards the idea of giving bucky the shield and then fucked it up by going with the relaticely underbaked movie version of Falcon


there are a handful of MCU characters who just fundamentally don’t work and they sort of flatten every other story they touch

like vision-ultron effectively tanked both jarvis and elizabeth olsen’s characters, thanos has now fucked up the two best standalone stories, giving black panther more primacy is kind of like “oh OK” (the lady general was great in infinity war tho), “spiderman with weird claw tendrils who has iron man as a father figure” is still a big ??? from me, the air force lady is the most bland deus ex machina imaginable, nobody likes hawkeye, etc.

don cheadle out there doing the work meanwhile


hawkeye is the best, hawkeye number 1


more like pinkeye


this is the “you gotta get through the first 10 hours, then it gets good” of movie reviews


are you saying that thanos “just fundamentally doesn’t work as a character”? can you pinpoint exactly which part of your butt you pulled that nugget from?


yeah he’s a Malthusian crackpot and an intimidatingly bad father, neither of which are at all interesting

he cheapened the excellent Ragnarok postcolonial ending and he’s leading the guardians cast toward the least interesting conflicts for them (literally retreading old ground)


he’s dead though, how is he leading the guardians anywhere?


careful we’re getting into untagged spoilers now

the m o he’s given to what’s his face, I mean


fixed that… so you mean guardians 3: the search for gamora? that’s… not a retread? pretty sure thor with the guardians will lead to adam warlock or something.

just as ever it feels like you are crankily wiping all the dinner plates off the table just because you can


shout out to the mets though


The second fight with Thanos was just sooo boring. Everyone knew exactly how it would end. They tried to up the stakes to “I’m gonna destroy the whole universe this time!” But like, clearly that’s not how the movie is gonna end so you just sit there and watch 500 characters punch an orc. There’s not enough time to dwell on anyone long enough to make their fight interesting so it’s just jump cuts of some alien getting beat up over and over. Zzzz


i think i’m fairly set that while i enjoy how these movies brought cap and tonys stories to a close thst infinity war part 1 was better, and that we’re all sort of disheartened by how the movies have sidelined bucky and about a dozen other characters


Winter Soldier really points to Hawkeye (and Black Widow (who was in the dang thing) (RIP in pieces) needing an action canvas that’s on a scale where they can really do a thing or two that isn’t made impotent by just how many 9/11s are happening in the background?

Giant Lord of the Rings lines flatten everything, and everyone, and when you combine them with Dudes Who Can Musou Sweep One Hundred Mans then your cuts to whomever stabbing someone or shooting someone are nothing. In this thing you had gauntlet football but the geography’s not interesting or clear enough for it to carry much weight (all puns always intended). You had Hawkeye alone in the Tunnel of Horrors but it only lasts a few minutes and then he’s a running back in a sea of noise.

In Winter Soldier you have one guy who is unusually strong/atheletic with a shield gimmick another with wings another with a robot arm a lady with… a wrist stun gun? Anyway it’s mostly people shooting other people and How Do We Not Get Shot In This Limited Geographic Situation. Also: Very Strong Man would rather not kill Robot Arm Boy. Clear goals. Few pieces. Limited slurry.

They try to do some real things with geography in that movie! It doesn’t always work and their camera gets a little out of control but it’s mostly solid, especially for a Marvel Movie. Maybe the closest to an actual Action Movie these things have gotten. Then they make Civil War and their big superhero fight is two lines running at each other in a big empty space cut to medium shots of one-on-ones for Banter.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Jeremy Renner has a very specific charisma that doesn’t work for these kinds of movies (he should only play some kind of broken creep) but maybe his show will be OK? Maybe the Black Widow flashback? solo movie will be OK because there won’t be literal Gods beside her?

They should have made a team-up. Actual conclusion of the scene was eh and I’ve never liked the actors but I feel like they finally figured out what to do with Widow, emotionally. No, Whedon, it’s not “I have a girl here so I have to pair her off with someone romantically” it’s “here is my familial warrior bond with my old soldiering companion.” I dug the idea of this very intense emotional scene between a lady + a mans that is about the platonic and professional bond and experiences they have shared. Honestly unusual thing to see in a motion picture. Shame all the “Hawkeye’s gone over the edge!!!” stuff that precedes is such boilerplate crap.


give me loser fuckup hawkeye already marvel


They did and it’s really good



I KNOW. it really chaps my ass that hawkeye in the movies is as self serious and no-fun as the ultimate comics hawkeye. superheroes kean nothing, but atleast give me the nothing that’s goofy and fun