god, i'm so sorry (superhero-comicbook nonsense)


#1

ben :’(


#2

this is a thread for the ever increasing dearth of mainstream comic media.

in honor of this new, most-likely not good Superhero Mash Up Blockbuster, i’m rewatching the first Man of Steel, since the last time i watched it i just remember hate yelling at a bad quality .avi with a group of drunks. i’m like 20 minutes in and there’s a scene where a bunch of space dildos carrying lazer shooting terrorists blast up into the sky, what the hell is up with this movie. the whole krypton scene is stranger than i remember.

after this, i’m watching Batman Returns. i rewatched the 89’ Batman fairly recently (after coming across this), and liked it overall. it has this faux 50’s noir style mood and pacing, and i really love those gotham matte paintings. i was always a fan of Keaton’s Batman and jack nicholson’s joker was just as weirdly fun and manic as i remember. prince soundtrack rules.

i haven’t seen Returns in a while, but i remember it being very…blue. just like moodier and darker and more penguins with bombs attached.


#3

oh jeez, Man of Steel.

it’s like every individual part of this movie (the actor choices, the design of things, certain lines of plot) are good but together it’s just so…boring. even when there’s tons of crazy action happening. like taking a color palette and blending it until it’s brown (or in this case teal) mush. it’s like watching a super expensive fan film from someone who liked the more alien/Kryptonian parts mixing with their 9/11 allusions. some really awful CGI too, even for a super expensive franchise movie like this. i bet the concept art for this movie is good though, very much like 70’s sci-fi weirdness (but with less color). i can’t help have the feeling that the first half of this movie was going to be “the First Movie” of a Trilogy but they decided to condense that with their other idea for a Part 2 (the Zod Fight) into one movie so they can get all the things into place for the new Batman v Superman.
i’m a big fan of the idea of Superman as a “jerk god” walking among us (my favorite Superman stories being All-Star Superman and that one Jonathan Goldstein This American Life short story) but they deliberately hammer home some super Jesus-y type god stuff that seemed mostly in service of a trailer and not a full length feature. i think a lot of action movies these days get criticized for looking too much like AAA videogame cutscenes, and Man of Steel is the embodiment of that critique.

i still love you Chris Meloni.


#4

meanwhile, the gentle understanding softspoken psychiatrist from Law & Order: SVU (BD Wong) is now on Gotham as Hugo Strange


#5

is Gotham any good? or does it get good at any point? i’ve always wondered

ok now i’m watching Batman Returns, and woah, Paul Rubens is totally Penguin’s dad! i forgot that part.


#6

I got curious and read the last bits of Hickman’s Avengers stuff and decided I legit like Dr Doom and would enjoy Doom-focused moving image media hence possibly


#7

god, it’s fucked up how much better Batman Returns is than most superhero movies

you really get the sense that Tim Burton had way more ownership over this one than Batman '89 and it comes across as a way more entertaining movie. (seemingly re-using similar background from Edward Scissorhands) his stamp over Gotham is way more prominent and “gothic” and i love everyone’s costumes and the background art/aesthetic style of a Christmas Burton-Gotham is so…weirdly refreshing after watching Man of Steel.
the thing i love about these Burton movies, is that he really captured a neo-50’s noir style of pacing and “comic panel” delivery (using his art-deco matte paintings), and they just look so much more…dramatic than any other Batman media product. they feel so “classic cinema” in a way that new Superhero movies can never feel. granted, the characters don’t feel like real people or real relatable or anything. but i don’t honestly mind. it matches the style and tone for me.

i remember when people complained about this movie being 2 hours long, thinking about how now that’s the absolute minimum for every Marvel movie from here on out.


#8

there’s a scene in this movie where a real monkey in a vest delivers a handwritten note to Danny Devito penguin in the sewers, the note being from Batman himself (with custom bat stationary). this is followed by an old man hitting a bunch of keys at a large computer, yelling into a headset mic, “the penguins are above ground” and a bunch of penguins with rockets climb up out of the sewers.

it’s admittedly not the best or most cohesive movie, but it’s just so damn…vivid.


#9

i like man of steels krypton and the fight scenes

like if somebody else was actually directing and writing the movie zack snyder would be like the best second unit director


#10

I really dig Russell Crowe in a space onesie on a space dragon flying around a roger dean painting.

BvS could have used some Russell Crowe on a space dragon.

It does have a v. serious crossfit/making kryptonite weapons montage I WILL MENTION EVERYWHERE BECAUSE I CANNOT GET OVER IT


#11

Oh yeah it’s also the first of 8 movies to actually build a decent action scene around Batman Batmanning?!

NOW WHERE ARE THE DILDOSHIPS ZACK?


#12

I love that in Batman Returns it feels like the guy playing Christopher Walken’s kid acts like he was deliberately coached to pick up mannerisms from Walken and lean on the more heavily when Walken is standing close to him and how clearly exasperated Walken is by this and he’s a good enough actor to incorporate that into “I love my idiot son”


#13

Snyder peaked with Suckerpunch


#14

man o’ steel is on netflix over here, and i watched it again in like 20 minute increments every day a few weeks ago. realizing that i could just stop watching it before the 40 minutes of grinding steel and blue lasers in the ending was a very pleasing moment.


#15

This is the Zack Snyder experience for me


#16

Michael Shannon
I’m so utterly unconcerned with the outcome of that fight. So profoundly, utterly unconcerned. I can’t even come up with a fake answer. I guess I have to root for Superman because he killed me, so I would hope that he would continue his killing spree and become like a serial killer Superman. That’s a new take on Superman. We’d all be in a heap of trouble if Superman was a serial killer. He could just wipe us all out. But then he’d be lonely.

Isn’t he already lonely?
Well, we’re all lonely.


#17

Is BvS the first movie where characters looking at viral marketing material is presented as a key dramatic moment?


#18

So does everyone appreciate Superman Returns now or what?


#19

no


#20

I appreciate the Timmverse, still