god, i'm so sorry (superhero-comicbook nonsense)


A bunch of professionally paid to be fit people cracking jokes about fatties is some hella punching down, and lazy shit too. They literally could have had him be skinny normal Thor and still done the Libowski jokes because, oh shit, guess who wasn’t fat.


i love big thor and his braided beard and honestly ixll take goofy Big Fella thor over Jim Starlin thor every day


Thor can be big and goofy without lazy fat suits and lazy fat jokes, though. For example, see literally the last Thor movie.


As many missteps as that had (we really don’t need salad jokes come on) it was a big deal to me that they just let him be fat and didn’t do a weight-losing montage or magic spell or whatever. He was just as vital in the fight as when his vagina bones were showing.

But I mean maybe that’s the plot of Thor 4: The Quest to Make More Bad Decisions.


Captain Marvel is a two hour movie and the “canon” you “need to know” is she was the first superhero Nick Fury ever met, gave him the idea for the Avengers, and then she fucked off on a space mission; which is paltry enough that I’m pretty sure they can cover that in Endgame’s running time, making the Captain Marvel movie pointless (there sure isn’t anything else interesting about it)


oh 100%. Pretty much any time she shows up, it is just a countdown till she says she is too busy to be here the rest of the time because other planets are going through post snap troubles too so she is gone again. it’s kinda hilarious how much she isn’t even in the movie..


i liked that aspect of it too. THAT’s the damn Lord of (bringing the) Thunder, not the swimsuit model


Fair, after the fat suit, I was worried he was just gonna magically not be fat like five minutes later, which would be about the only way they could have made it worse.


I would have preferred it if they did chubby Thor by having Hemsworth gain weight rather than wearing a fatsuit (also: fewer fat jokes), but I can understand why they didn’t do it that way.


I figure the use of the fatsuit was due to him being a big name actor and probably filming multiple movies at once. I can’t defend it much beyond that. Let Hemsworth be fat in more movies imo. Please sign my “Fat Hemsworth is sexy” petition.


i saw this again and noticed that in the scene when Peter Parker comes back, none of the spoilery dialogue was actually Tom Holland. they’d cut behind him when he’d say something specifically spoilery, and i am pretty certain it wasn’t his actual voice. then back to his front for when he’d day something only generally spoilery. obviously because Tom Holland can’t keep a secret. cute.


My fitness watch thing thought I fell asleep for the last hour of the movie


Where the fuck was Robert Redford!? Those end credits felt like weird jokes.


honestly the last hour or so did nothing for me

the rest was OK though

like I was mostly thinking about the dinner party I ruined by yelling about complicity in colonialism but it felt like bringing back black panther first was pretty flat and the action choreography went nowhere from there, the last movie was better in that regard?


I even felt like they did a better job of setting up iron man dying in the last one when he faced down Josh Brolin while his nanomachines melted, in this one they gave him a kid for maximum exploitativeness, counted on the audience to be able to ignore that 2019 Gwyneth is like watching 2006 Tom Cruise, and then he grabbed the stones really quick from the air force lady somehow

100% that Steve Rogers voted for Reagan


all the emotional midbattle reunions just did not come off, that was some third rate troilus and cressida shit

also idk if it’s just me but it’s frankly weird to meet a past version of a loved one and not be heartbroken that they don’t have all the memories that you do, like don’t elide that shit, that’s the whole tragedy


kind of funny that they made cumberbatch spend the whole battle fighting rising sea levels though


I even felt like they fucked up the power levels from the last one, I really liked when Thor got a hit off at the end even though it didn’t matter and this was just kind of soupy

a lot of the character stories just feel artificially distended now, like every time Bucky is on screen (shooting his inefficient-even-compared-to-hawkeye rifle) it feels more like the memory of an emotional response at this point rather than anything left in the tank


I am also completely unable to accept this spiderman, he has never worked for me, it’s too many spidermen, get him out of here


I’m finding it difficult to express just how terribly boring i am finding everything you’re saying