Games You Played Today VIII: Journey of the Cursed Poster

See that makes sense to me but said battle end with the garage boss grabbing your gun hand, putting it in his own mouth and pulling the trigger to blow off the top of his skull, which came off as very odd given that I had zero bullets in said gun. It gave me a very “oh crap, the game assumes I would have some ammo left and I’m at zero, I fucked up” feeling.

Anyways today’s adventures in RE7 was that first moldy people basement section after meeting the first one, it took me about 90 minutes to get to the dissection room as I spent a long time trying, failing and eventually succeeding a few times in using doors to win knife fights against them. I’d be lying if I said it was particularly fun and it feels like it took an hour longer than it should have but I only ended up using about 4 bullets so I guess this is how one is supposed to Resident Evil I guess?

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wait seriously? this is why i stopped playing the game lol. i got pissed off that headshots randomly insta killed sometimes and other times didnt, and i felt like it was bullshit because of how low a resource bullets were so i just ended up quitting because it felt like a design flaw lol

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Forgot to say don’t worry about it, it’s my own particularly rough history with the game rather than anything you did.

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all the post-re6 games more or less work this way. Not that they like go out of their way to tell you that but yeah. It’s also why the enemies in the re2 remake like to take a random amount of bullets to go down. its especially noticeable if you play like re7 or re2 remake and then re3 remake afterwards, where most of the enemies die way more consistently

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thats even a callback from the old games, bullets have a random damage spread RPG style so youre never totally sure how many will put down a zombie

(though RE1 has the most broken point up → shotgun head which rocks its so fun!! 1 shell = 1 less zombie 100% of the time)

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Arcade Archives Blandia (PS4)

Blandia’s the sequel to “Gladiator,” which was published by Taito–which did have high/middle/low weapon dueling bits, in between walking down halls batting down projectiles coming at you segments. Blandia cuts those out, so it’s just a straight-up fighting game!

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A really really bad one! Horrible action, some awkward art, especially in later stages, cheesecake of the female characters with their armor knocked off, topless statues, etc.

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The five-second music loops are AWFUL.

Allumer also made a PS1 fighting game, Magic Beast Warriors, which I own for some reason. It is bad–doesn’t look like they’d learned much as far as good fighting game mechanics go in the three years since Blandia (1992 to 1995).

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“Great Gurianos” was the name of the player character in Gladiator, says Wikipedia–and Gurianos is the default character in Blandia, still there with his weird blue metal armor that can still be knocked off piece by piece. Home computer ports of Gladiator were titled “Great Gurianos.”

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Some web sites call Allumer a “Taito subsidiary,” but there’s no indication of that on the Wikipedia page, and no mention of Taito in the game as far as I noticed.

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No mention of Ving, either, although that’s who Wikipedia says published the game. BUT the back of the arcade flyer for Blandia Blandia - Allumer, Ltd. (Video Game, 1992) - EU | The Arcade Flyer Archive has Taito contact information. I wonder if Taito pulled out and Allumer just went ahead and self-published it. Wikipedia says Hamster bought Allumer’s IPs in February 2023 (Famitsu coverage: https://www-famitsu-com.translate.goog/news/202302/08291994.html?_x_tr_sl=ja&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en&_x_tr_pto=wapp ).

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oh i knew this, the difference is that you’re not in direct control of aiming in the old games and it felt more designed around that, whereas in the first-person ones it’s me literally pointing a gun point blank at a monsters head but it still takes four shots sometimes whereas other times it takes one. it just felt wrong and off to me

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toca racing for the gba has an accurate car list for early 2000s touring cars, this included a Lincoln town car

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love it how its main trait is ‘BRAKE’ maxxed out :servbotsalute:

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Burned through Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest which is very slow until it is very fast. Maybe it helps I used a map for the back-half.

And like one of the clues was wrong.

It’s at its best when you are lost and confused and just going through identical forest to identical town. The world feels endless.

While it is the right choice aestheticly you also sit and wait for sunrise for about 20% of your playtime.

Not necessarily a good game but a great one despite that.

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Iridion 3D

I am a big fan of the “3D” shooters like Starfox and Tetrastar. This was an early GBA game I was obsessed with. It uses prerendered animations for the background scrolling, and it runs at 60fps, so it looks incredible even though it’s repetitive.

Unfortunately the powerups suck, the ship graphic covers where your shots go, so it’s really hard to aim down the playfield. The first boss is just stupid difficult. It also uses ye-old password system to save progress. You are just holding the A button down the whole time too. There aren’t any alternate weapons like bombs and there’s no way to dodge. I feel like with a little more design it would have been better imo

Driv3r


I am pretty sure this is made by the same cats who did the Stuntman port for the GBA. It’s technically a 3rd person driving and shooting game. You can get into and out of cars, drive them around, get out of the car, and shoot people with a gun. From what I can tell the entire map from the PS2 game is recreated in the GBA’s game engine. The texture and polygon warping when you get close to surfaces is very severe.

This is a category of game that is technically impressive but just not good enough to stand on it’s own. It’s trying to do too much. It mostly, technically, succeeds at it. But like, it isn’t “fun”.

Karnaaj Rally

This is a game mainly known for having terrible box art. Seanbaby used to have a feature in EGM where, at the end of the issue, he’d tear into a bunch of terrible games and call them shitty. It was kind of funny to read at the time. One of those games was Karnaaj Rally which he refused to actually play or review, and then in the next month’s issue he did review it because the publisher called the magazine to complain. and said it was terrible.

Well actually it’s not bad, in fact I’d say it’s probably the best top down racer for the GBA that I’ve played. It’s clearly done by a bunch of Polish demoscene guys because the music sounds like a demoscene thing, and it does a bunch of demoscene tricks…IDK how to qualify that it’s just what it looks like.

So yeah the game uses a combination of high resolution ground textures, 3D polygonal art, and a fore and background 2d plane, to create a really really good sense of depth. They went as far as to bake the shadows in for the 3D polygonal objects like trees and rocks. The racing mechanics are pretty well realized, you have to manage your boost and weapons throughout a race and that gets pretty interesting. In between races you upgrade parts of the car. The game’s career mode starts you in the BC era with a bunch of stone age flintsones knockoff cars and the tracks are all dinosaur themed. Then you go to the modern era and drive a bunch of old-timey cars. Presumably you get race cars in later levels.

All in all it’s actually a really interesting game malaigned by bad cover art and a terrible reviewer. It has a kind of anti-style that you only get from early 00’s eurojank software houses. In between races you talk to your racing “sponsor” who has a weird mug, and you get to choose what weird mug that represents you. These are probably the developers

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hey you should play Combat Cars

or listen to its music

either or

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shotgun decapitations are a feature!! its supposed to give you a way to put em down for good at great personal risk! the sawed off lever action you can build in re3 is so fun to try these with

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This game rules, actually. Interesting thing is that it’s a clone of Remedy’s Death Rally on PC, which did the same thing with polygon trees and stuff. It’s so similar you would swear it was made by the same people, but not a single person worked on both games.

Have you tried Payback? That’s another technically impressive GBA game that tries too much.

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hmmm

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speaking of Iridion 3D, I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts about its sequel Iridion 2, which made the wise decision of being a vertical shmup instead.

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yeah gameplay footage looks like they fixed a lot of my gripes but kept the background gimmick

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no but god damn, i might slap it on there

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I owned Karnaaj Rally back in the day; not sure why, but I at the time I thought it was pretty fun. Maybe I got it because the developer, Paragon 5, had made Hardcore Pinball, which I had mostly liked except for one table (Robomech).

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