High on Life is out on game pass now. Which one of us is gonna take the bullet and try the rick and morty talking gun fps?
5 Likes
Me. I did it. I played High on Life. I thought maybe it would irritate me enough to stay awake but I just felt this fuckin’…I dunno, malaise. I regretted playing it.
It opens with a Duke Nukem parody about a divorced dude shooting up a spaceship filled with his ex wife’s boyfriends. A divorce attorney has a codec conversation with you throughout, constantly reminding you that he’s your divorce attorney, fuck, and those are your ex-wife’s fuckin’ boyfriends, fuckin’ fuck!
I accidentally skipped the intro to the retro FPS section cuz my finger brushed the fuckin’ HOME key or some shit? Then there was a scene where the player’s sister offers them cocaine and I think that was supposed to be character creation, I think you’re supposed to click on those arrows? But I didn’t realize that, I just clicked and it chose a face and I didn’t even get to do cocaine.
This is one of those games that’s set in the 90s I think except everyone has flatscreen HDTVs. I assume these are AI generated posters. They’re kinda awful, aren’t they. Everything in this game is kinda awful. The plot is about aliens invading earth so they can use humans as drugs. During the invasion I stood by a married couple for like 3 minutes listening to them argue. I think there were a bunch of Italian jokes in there? As in “Let’s repeatedly mention that this character is Italian.” There aren’t many actual jokes in here, there’s lots and lots and lots of dialogue and it’s all regurgitating every fuckin’ Weird Twitter gag from the last X years, but since there’s no character limit there are like half a dozen “fucks” in every line.
Like, this is as good as it gets. This means we can no longer do Italian jokes. Not even about Felix. They’re OVER.
And so is this shit, let’s NEVER let anyone talk bout the fuckin’ baby shoes again!! They’re OVER and DONE – I am declaring myself the Mr Blackwell of comedy!!
And katanas? They’re also unfunny I guess, but I still think my idea of a dozen of us leaving the Easton cabin to run errands and coming back with katanas woulda been at least somewhat hilarious.
Yeah I’ll be right fucking on it you fucking dimwit
This is another joke that’s over, we can’t do this anymore, I need to delete that one bit from the Jack the Nipper page in my ZX Spectrum zine. The knife has an Australian accent. It was the third potty-mouthed Navi I collected in the game. These fucking things never stop telling you what you can/can’t/should do, and also how much all this stuff you’re doing sucks. It is so much worse than those God of War clips. You can adjust the chatter frequency but I decided not to do that cuz I wanted ~the full experience~. The full experience of every line being repeated four fucking times by VAs who have logged more time on LA comedy podcasts than I’ve spent playing Dota.
And I’ve spent a lotta time playing Dota!!!
I hate listening to these comedians talk!!
I am putting any effort into writing about this, it shouldn’t even really be written about, the game itself is like…very boilerplate, it has zero new ideas, it has zero friction, it’s like they followed one of those youtube Good Game Design essayist’s lessons to a T, I was gonna say it’s like a second party GameCube game but those usually had some weird shit shoveled in there due to NCL’s meddling, this is just fucking nothing, it’s honestly depressing how blandly executed it is
I did fall through solid objects a buncha times though, that was fun
Also I died to the first boss. I dunno how it happened. But I remember I saw a video of that first boss, and I posted “Wow imagine dying to this thing and having to listen to all those quips again.” Well, it happened, I didn’t even mean for it to happen, but it happened. I quit after that and went to bed feeling really blah after a nice night, don’t play this game everyone, I know you weren’t going to but don’t play this game
39 Likes
Me n @dogs joint effort
This thing is def a bit bunked. We dont have a ps5, it thinks we only played 1 hour online, also we r curious when it counts apex legends time and when not, like we defs had it on the “you have been disconnected due to inactivity” screen for 100 hours alone.
8 Likes
i didn’t watch you stream this game so I will continue unabated
8 Likes
Loved your post, but what game is this?
1 Like
High On Life! And thank you!
2 Likes
Had two solo wins and two squad wins in the past three days of Fortnite. Feels good.
Last solo win was after playing like, 6 games in a row where I kept dying within minutes of landing, truly terrible. For whatever reason everywhere I landed I couldn’t find a gun and then 9 seconds later someone would come in with two shotguns and a grenade launcher and just blow me up. Let’s call it a skill issue.
But the last win was great - had like 8 eliminations and the last one was some bugs bunny shit where they thought i went one way around a pile of lumber but i went the other and snuck up behind them.
Actually that happened with one of the eliminations in my other solo win, we were literally chasing each other around a big tree and I just reversed direction and shot them in the face.
So yeah I guess this game is Looney Tunes With Guns in many ways. It’s great.
5 Likes
Did the estate of GG Allin sign off on his likeness?
5 Likes
Imagine Merle Allin using a Wii cuz that’s what I’m doing right now
4 Likes
i feel like the transition from “semi-famed internet humorist” to “person paid to Write the Funny” often yields these kinds of results. i assume it has everything to do with the medium shift, or maybe it’s because there have only ever been 5 funny videogames in history.i chose 5 at random it’s probably fewer
5 Likes
Are these the five?
- Incredible Crisis
- Katamari Damacy
- Life of D. Duck
- Portal
- The Secret of Monkey Island
8 Likes
Heavy Rain
4 Likes
god AAA game art is all going to be this AI slop in 5 years huh. my mind boggles at the cruelty of “i know, i’ll disrupt the incomes of some of the most exploited people in creative industries”
13 Likes
yeah i gotta say this game is incredible for being full of timeless visual gags, shit never gets old
9 Likes
Barkley?
That demo where you befriend that dumpy guy and everyone else burns your house down out of jealously?
Skitchin’ just for the endless amount of laughs I’ve had for the victory dance where the character just elbows himself in the junk rapidly?
Trio the punch?
5 Likes
Fallout 3 when you lose patience with its world-building and toss grenades at everyone in Megaton to see how high they can ‘jump’
5 Likes