Hypnospace Outlaw runs like ass on my piece of shit tablet computer.
edit: also it refuses to play music, though it does play audio from its video clips and it’s digitized speech.
sounds like they took simulating the pc experience in the 90s too far
6 Likes
It’s hard to tell - some of the page loading times are clearly meant to emulate the mid-90’s web, but after a minute everything gets slower for me, far slower than my Pentium 133 at 56.6bps ever did.
I think you’re having authentic computer troubles, not simulated. But if it helps, here’s a goofy tip: if you wiggle your mouse around, the game speeds up its page load times. There’s a fun in-universe explanation for why it works that way too.
1 Like
Pretty sure my two authentic computer troubles are an Intel Atom x5 1.44Ghz processor and 4Gb of RAM.
2 Likes
well, I found my car in forza horizon.
when I started playing I saw that there was a honda S2000. I got excited, because that’s a car I used to love in whatever gran turismo games it was in. then I saw that it was a DLC only car, and I got sad. well, today I noticed that there were, in fact, two S2000’s in the game, and only one of them was DLC. the '09 version was a mere 25000 forza dollars, which is an amount you can make in less than ten minutes. I was happy! yay. hell, I probably had the '09 version in whatever gran turismo anyway.
after racing around in it for a bit, I decided to poke around at it. then I got lazy, because FH4 has this thing where people who actually know shit about cars can share their kits for any car in the game, which you can then browse, download, purchase (in game money, the game isn’t that evil), and apply. I picked one that looked nice, and it turns out it was very nice. the S2000 is a tiny, zippy car that’s fun and forgiving for people who suck. now it has an engine in it that is presumably bigger than the car itself, and a comical amount of downforce that turns it into a true video game car. the secret to this game is to ignore everything that makes it a video game from 2018, which includes many many checklists, online functionality that I don’t understand or care to understand, lootboxes, hidden SECRETS, daily quests, weekly quests, and I think monthly quests. what you do instead is find your version of the honda S2000 and you do some races and you drive around the countryside not listening to your music because they fucked that part up.
7 Likes
Yeah the game just gets super beautiful once you find a car that handles the way you want it to
1 Like
Baba is You - finally a game that combines squigglevision and object-based programming
8 Likes
there’s nothing wrong with dereferencing a pointer, brendon
8 Likes
Disappointed that there’s barely any hot hatches in the FH4 car list and the only Subaru is the Impreza (where is the Outback). MSFT pls release the Family Pack DLC of mid-range MPVs & every VW rebadge
4 Likes
I finished Steamworld Dig 2. Having played Steamworld Heist, I knew how it was going to end, but I love that they were brave enough to do it.
The game was pleasant and thoughtful throughout, and slowly gaining more and more movement options was really fun. It manages to technically be a Metroidvania while avoiding most of the pitfalls of “I have to remember where I could use this thing” or “I must backtrack endlessly.” In fact, having a jetpack and grappling hook made backtracking…fun? Plus there are a few, like, plugin things that can make backtracking actually rewarding (you can see all the resources, and you can increase the value of everything under $8 to exactly $8 which is significant).
Anyway, highly highly recommended even though it’s not, like, game of the century level. Just a really rewarding game in the game-est way possible.
Oh and it only took me like 9 hours, and also I feel no need to 100% it - I saw what I wanted to see.
okay well
in this way
it was very effective
Hotline Miami is, in my mind, completely tied together with one of the most anxious, compulsive times of my life. It was a game I played to avoid everything, and simultaneously felt terrible about it, but also completely entranced. I also sweated a lot and had nightmares about it.
Hm
Gonna have to do some more thinking.
1 Like
I think it’s very valid to dislike it because it’s ugly, or argue that ugliness in this manner isn’t ultimately honest; to me, it fits into established forms and feels true to the contradictory feelings I have without answering or solving them.
I’m impressed that they got the interior of a Metro station looking right but couldn’t get the right map for the time period
also, god I wish the escalators actually said “stand to the right”
every
single
day
3 Likes
everything I have heard about the game is that the level design and the skills and the shooting and whatnot are surprisingly respectable but the storytelling and all narrative elements are insulting
There is no storytelling. There is no plot. There are no characters. There are almost no cutscenes. There are no quips. It barely ever pretends to have anything really going on aside from feeding you dudes to shoot in your immediate vicinity, unlike Destiny, which is overbearing. Your mission objectives are as perfunctory and redundant as they get.
This is a bullshit-free lawn to mow. All you do is roam around the streets and kill thousands of gang members, and every single mission consists of just entering a building at street level with gorgeous interiors and clearing it out floor by floor, usually ending up on the rooftop. I’ve frequently started missions without even intending to just because the door was open, and suddenly I’m clearing out a whole dead mall.
It’s like a 3D Gauntlet with guns in Washington D.C. and I absolutely adore it. The weapon dynamics feel distinctive and far better than any other plink-plink healthbar shooter I’ve played; when you start out you even get teased with Kane & Lynch style hilariously inaccurate ARs, and though the guns improve in handling the recoil and reloading times still feel meaningful.
I’ve never seen two locations in it that look vaguely similar; the AI is aggressive and flanks frequently; every hour playing this game is basically the same pure feeling, it is a pure videogame, it is the platonic ideal of every generic cover shooter on the Xbox 360 put into a massive, gorgeous, continuous city level.
3 Likes
ok but what are the people playing it like
1 Like
You’re almost making me want to play this but I know better than to listen to you
2 Likes
unless the final product is vastly, deeply different from what was presented in the beta demo test trial, it’s almost identical to the original game except with slightly less spongy enemies