so a while back a house nextdoor to the butts beach house opened, and i decided to take a crack at the fucking awful housing clicker. if you want a plot in ffxiv and its not brand new you must click. forever. so how it works is like, the house will be randomly purchaseable on a timer. the timer is invisible. it can be from 1-16 hours. you just have to keep clicking the plaque, confirming Buy, and hoping that this time the timer is over
so you just sit and click and sit and click. i was doing it with just a few BUTTS at first, then someone from Panda showed up and they were really nice, but ended up tapping out after about 2 hours. NOT ME
I REMAINED
there was no one there! i was able to fuck off and do a roulette and my plot would still be clickable when i got back
UNTIL
MARTYR PALESPEAR SHOWED UP…this motherfucker just waltzes in and starts autoclicking. we dance for him, we call him a virgin, we call him marty, i ask him questions and he remains COMPLETELY SILENT just fucking clicking. so i stop doing roulettes, i change my glam to match palespears exactly, and i start actually clicking. im on console so i dont have access to autoclickers so its possible im at a disadvantage. but hey some asshole in prae said there would be NO WAY someone with a launch PS4 would be able to snag a house when they made more plots AND I SNAGGED ONE…SO ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
we’re clicking for hours and im chatting the whole time and this fucker is SILENT
and then he got the plot
MOTHERFUCKER i plan to annoy the hell out of him forever…every time i see him im like HELLO MICKEY PICKLESPEAR (in the in the hello motherfucker voice ) and i just want to torment my enemy forever
i was just like, its better to be included than excluded (wonder why that’s on my mind lately). NEW BUTT NEW BUTT!!! his house is called Marty’s place so he doesn’t even fret over the nicknames. maybe ill convince him to post like miffy hahaahhaa
sorry i don’t know who that cael guy is!! he just kinda showed up while we were all talking
spent about 30 minutes explaining to FC mates that ten praes in a row just ISNT THAT BIG A DEAL when you want some moogles. but im just built different
i did an msq last night and i spent THE WHOLE TIME blabbing about different emanuelle movies (im an expert now, i have five emanuelle movies downloading and one of them has caligula-esque shoving fruit and snakes into a hoohoo, which oh! i didnt know emanuelle went hardcore) just asking what people liked to watch, describing the plots from some of the movies,
there was a sprout who was doing their first castrum, they were like WHAT’S EMANUELLE, WAIT ILL GOOGLE and then they said 'i haven’t seen any ;___;" obviously they were crying because they felt robbed of not having experienced this sub genre of art house films, so i just kept recommending
i also sfw described a rocco video where he says ‘IT ITS GAY TO GET YOUR ASS LICKED BY A FEMALE… THEN IM GAY’ then it immediately cuts to him getting his butthole fingered by a lady and hes like YEAH CLEAN IT CLEAN IT and then she has a transcendental experience fucking him abd is crying and hugging him afterwards like she jizzed and it made angel fanfare or some shit. its a great video
earlier i went to a fight club that was just people typing /random (rolls a thousand sided die) at eachother in a cage until someone rolled higher five times or whatever. i bet 100k gilberts on the underdog, but i didnt know who the underdog was, so after every match was won i had to yell WAS THAT THE UNDERDOG??? i did not win my money back. never bet on the underdog at turtles exclusive fight club
anyway I still havent been reported in this game snd i got a grip of comms from that castrum…why do they let me do this
it makes sense too a bunch of chrono trigger writers and staff worked on ffxi and work on xiv now!! GIMMIE THE UPPER CRUST GARLEANS ON THEIR FLOATING ISLANDS NOWWWW
ENDWALKER EARLY ACCESS IN LESS THAN A WEEK
ENDWALKER FULL RELEASE 10 DAYS
WE HIT A MILESTONE OF 100 BUTTS! MORE BUTTS MORE BUTTS i cant believe how many people are in this FC now and how chill its remained! i talk with a lot of other free company leaders to try and steal ideas and they’re almost always talking about drama. like always. ALWAYS WITH DRAMA so thank you for making my game time actually fun and not a micromanaging experience of people who hate eachother. it owns
if you’re considering making a character or just collecting SB discords feel free to come to the FFXIV discord! all are welcome!
we have an awesome gunpla channel that you dont need a character to see, but some stuff is hidden behind being a FC member to protect peoples privacy when a rando joins temporarily to fill up a party for raiding or whatever BECAUSE I CARE
