Bottom Line Reviews

Mario 64 is an overachieving tech demo forever etched into the collective unconscious, for better or for worse (***1/2)

9 Likes

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is the revitalised feeling you have about indoor activities once you know that there’s a fire burning outside

6 Likes

Psychonauts 2 is better than it has any right to be

3 Likes

Berserk and the Band of the Hawk has gameplay

6 Likes

Brut@l, sure

it does!

2 Likes

Life is Strange is White Lodge David Cage

10 Likes

lmao

Doom 2016 is Doom: Championship Edition

2 Likes

DOOM (2016) is all downhill from the end of Kadingir Sanctum.

Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow is a harbinger of things to come

1 Like

alternately:

Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow is the DS one

8 Likes

Honestly this one is very helpful for me lol

1 Like

You can patch out the bad parts and play it like a GBA and it is pretty alright.

In comparing Final Fantasies 7 and 9,

7 is a mud puddle and 9 is like a thick pile of moist dirt

7 Likes

Final Fantasy 8 is a crisp glass of chlorinated pool water

8 Likes

ah, the Universal Moistness Scale of Final Fantasy?

3 Likes

Final Fantasy 12 feels like stepping out of the shower in the Rocky Mountains

2 Likes

Final Fantasy V is sitting in a dunk tank, waiting for one lucky shot

3 Likes

I gotta say these have gotten so esoteric I have no idea what they mean.

8 Likes