Bottom Line Reviews


#1

This is my favorite KOP thread that I started on the old board, so I’m going to start it up again here… with a blank slate! Our goal, all over again: to review every single video game in the format codified by tim rogers (praise be upon him): “[game name] is [definitive statement]”. Whether or not you follow this with a rating out of four stars is up to you. Regardless, all contributions (including those for games which have already been reviewed) will be alphabetized and collected in this top post. I’ll start us off:

The Beginner’s Guide is close enough to Pale Fire. ()
Grow Home is a celebration of locomotion.
Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days is exactly what you must play when your AC breaks on the hottest day of the year. (
)
Metal Gear Solid V is a Netflix Original Series play set that comes with everything you see here.
Mortal Kombat is Street Fighter for juggalos.
NieR is the near death experience of a mad game company. (***1/2)
Super Smash Bros. (Wii U/3DS) is corporate MUGEN. (**1/2)
Twisted Metal is Mario Kart for juggalos.
Undertale is a memetic Earthbound. (***1/2)


#2

::cough::

http://52.35.138.13/t/the-bottom-line/231/8


#4

Super Mario Land is Super Mario Bros. on Earth 2 (****)


#5

The Beginner’s Guide is Pale Fire for idiot manbabies


#6

oh phew I was afraid gorblax wasn’t coming for a second, this was one of my last lingering anxieties about the moveover

has everyone here actually read pale fire btw? because you ought to.

Her Story is videogame as 90s thriller, but good


#7

Yeah, Pale Fire is one of the best midcentury Modernist novels.


#8

Metal Gear Solid V is the exact opposite of Metal Gear Solid 4. ()
Shenmue is one-hundred percent committed to being the best game ever made (
)


#10

Grow Home is “A celebration of locomotion”


#11

Metal Gear Solid V is “a Netflix Original Series play set that comes with everything you see here”


#12

Dariusburst Chronicle Saviours is “an opera at the end of the galaxy.


#13

The Killzone Franchise is “experiential authenticity as imagined by some guys who spent 2 hours at a gun range 7 years ago”


#14

Borderlands 2 is drinking socially.

Proteus is the best Elder Scrolls game to date.


#15

Downwell is a Metroid 2 sequel


#17

destiny is a skinner box for 12 year olds (****)

chrono trigger is the white album of videogames (*)


#18

Galatea is "the best conversation you’ll ever have in a dream


#19

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#20

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#21

Great minds think alike. As far as I’m concerned these two threads should square off and fight for their continued existences


#22

@Gorblax who would win in a fight between these two threads? be honest!


#24

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