Monster Hunter is Big Nintendogs.
8 Likes
Battle Garegga is going to corncob you.
(ty @synth)
2 Likes
8 Likes
Say No More is a zero hours contract stressball from the people who brought you The Lego Movie 
4 Likes
SaGa Frontier is the game of all time
5 Likes
DOOM is a bullet hell inside a kart racer inside a pinball machine
7 Likes
Bloodstained Ritual of the Night is a burgundy velvet fainting couch with flaking gold leaf accents that smells like 100 years of incense
6 Likes
Undertale is peering over the shoulder of a maniacal genius as they sketch out and toss aside a dozen brilliant ideas per minute
4 Likes
Tactical Nexus is finding a needle in a haystack but it’s the wrong haystack and the needle isn’t the right color
11 Likes
Half-Life 2 Deathmatch is a linear graph representing the axes visual acuity and murder
5 Likes
Doorkickers Action Squad is the most accurate Cop Simulator
2 Likes
Resident Evil Village is watching Eraserhead on basic cable with commercials
2 Likes
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes is getting into a sleek, shiny sports car only to find an aeroplane cockpit’s worth of switches and dials to manage any time you want to go somewhere in it
5 Likes
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes is the only wrong use for the color purple.
6 Likes
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes is your first bout of depression in adolescence, before you knew what it was.
12 Likes
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes is is a loading screen sandwich and persistent damage is the bread
8 Likes
Dragon’s Dogma is FIFA Baldur’s Gate
8 Likes
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is receiving the most luxurious full body massage of your life yet still feeling short-changed because you thought you were at a gym
2 Likes
Ghosts n’ Goblins is Dark Souls for people who have never played Dark Souls but say a game is like Dark Souls.
1 Like
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is a cheap airport thriller written by Master Chief’s dad
8 Likes