Zelda: Breath of the Wild


I’m just assuming the “every NPC wants to bone link” thing was the result of some weird internal dev struggle

“OK, fine, if you’re going to reduce our mainline storytelling to the level of a low-budget kids’ cartoon, we are going to fuck up every single line of dialogue that doesn’t have to get voiced”

anyway it’s fine basically because it’s still nintendo playing to their (rediscovered against all odds) strengths and fucking up the thing they were already definitely bad at, it’s just funny that most notable open world games lately have been great mainly on the basis of the world design / lore / dialogue / storytelling and this is the exact opposite

anyway I actually have like 15 defense now so I’ll go find out just how bad one of the main “guardian” quests can be

I had read that but this one shoots ice!

oh you mean the breath, he only did that after the halfway point and it was hard to get there


Speaking of great random NPC dialogue: In the Zora city there is a fish lady that wants you to take a picture of a Lynel for her. Did anybody else try telling her that they did not understand her request? She’ll keep repeating it if you do but each time she does she’ll use simpler words for you until eventually she starts telling you in literal baby talk.
Another favourite are the transport trainers in Gerudo town. When you respond to them for the first time with a seal pun (which are ALL and the only options) they’ll wonder to themselves if this is the new hip slang that they’re not caught up on. Every future dialogue with them will then have them using similarly awful seal puns every other sentence.

I don’t think I’ve seen anybody anywhere mention that this game also has the most adorable video game children running around that I’ve ever seen.


I seriously dig how snarky Link’s dialog choices are.


Worth noting (and probably mentioned earlier) is that you can now download nine different voice language options while I believe keeping the subtitles in english. You won’t get a fake Ico language but like, I speak about as much of that as I do of russian, so…

Also after so many dozens of hours I finally figured out how to get rid of some of those darn thorns.


I figured that out a couple hours ago when a patch that was stumping me (on a little island near zoraland tower) juuust barely overlapped with a patch of regular grass and I went “aha!”

some ace design there, also good thing I got that one rod when I did


ganon hacked hyrules drones. zelda should of practiced better infosec


There’s a shrine near the first stable you’re likely to encounter that is surrounded by impassable spikey things. It’s in a shallow pond. I forgot I had ice powers so I climbed a mountain then flew in. Pretty great


See, that is how I dealt with the thorns each time up until now (jumping off of high places often very far away). This time was the same, except that I had to also blow up a destructible wall. In doing so I accidentally started a chain reaction that solved the problem.


the parts of this that are way too on the nose w/r/t modern technology (like link’s fucking iPhone camera that he shows people in quest dialogs) are generally not as awkward as you’d expect. insofar as the storytelling in this is pretty poor compared to the rest of it, they mostly get away with the props.


I like the memory cutscenes that have a good focus on Zelda herself. It’s fun watching her just nerd out whatever has her attention at the time. Narratively they’re kinda whatever.


OK yeah the divine beast quests only barely hold attention, they’re dangerously close to aughts zelda at any given time


After the Zora one, they feel much more brief, if it’s any consolation.


I thought the divine beasts were… fine. Neither exceptionally good nor bad. Just there. I also parceled them out very slowly and mostly only did them if i happened to be in the area and felt like it.
Do the birb one ASAP.


i liked that they were like giant puzzle boxes you were inside of, and that there was a really tiny focus on enemies


going directly from zoraland to goronland is absolutely the least enthusiastic I have been about this game

but having said that, I think I’ve already played it for a very impeccably dense ten hours and I don’t think they’ve totally undermined what they’re doing elsewhere, it’s just a reminder of how bad recent Zelda Games are compared to this

I’m not really sure what I want it to do next though? I killed a lynel and I’m definitely feeling the comment about how it appears to have exhausted its design by the mid game, so I’m glad to hear that turns out not to be the case


There are weirder things around the periphery of the map. If you haven’t yet, consider checking out the islands.


yeah actually I take back my minor complaint, the northeastern areas are really cool


what the hell I can’t name my horse Ol’ Smokey


I named my horse Uma Thurman (馬 サーマン)


I can’t tell if the names aren’t family friendly enough for nintendo or it’s a glitch