Who wondered 'hey its God Hand'

yeah but now we’re in Hel

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Their insistance on calling it ‘Helheim’ has also gotten a few side-eyes out of me

i prefer to call it h e single hockey stick

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FLAMING ARROWS WERE USED OCCASIONALLY BUT ARE LARGELY AHISTORICAL AAAHHH

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I watch this channel we got here, ZDF Info, all the time and I see historical flaming arrows equally all the time, so I don’t know what you’re on about?

european tv has actual footage of flaming arrows shot by embedded crews sent back through time it is truly a socialist paradise

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That is not what I meant but I agree

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In troy they shot flaming arrows in a perfect arc so that they would crest a hill and land perfectly embedded in The sand on the other side.

And then they rolled giant balls of yarn I mean rope down the hill. And they caught on fire as they rolled through. The arrows still flaming, even though they are stuck in a giant butt tray. And those balls of rope apparently weigh 1-ton each. Because they bash through everything.

Oh god it went on so long it started to have shitty gender issues. If you’re making a video game about fatherhood wouldn’t the contrast be… toxic fatherhood?

Can make it up to me by making Trae genderfluid in the next one due to that 2cute last minute reveal

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Ok, here’s my final thoughts: the last 8 hours or so of this game blow because

The blades of chaos blow. When I realized I was gonna get them I was like ‘lol cute’ but then I was like, ‘aren’t those a big part of why the old games suck?’ And it’s true! Their wide arcs slap everyone on screen and the attack speed of enemies is slow enough that they’ll often die before doing anything even if you’re not targeting the them. Additionally, having four runic attack slots is a stupid amount of superarmor.
I was impressed for most of the game how it builds so many puzzles out of the realitively simple behavior of your axe throw. The blades of chaos have even simpler behavior. The only puzzle it’s used for is throwing it at something and then throwing it at something else within 10 seconds. You already had timed throwing puzzles with the axe and they’re way harder! The heck gods of war.

I was real ready for things to be over by the end

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Finally played this. I guess an Odinist would be offended by the negative depictions of heroic gods like Odin, Thor, and Baldur, but then I realized that the kind of people who describe themselves as Odinists in the year of our lord Jesus Christ 2018 would be too fixated in anger that you play as a Black Spartan who has child with a nordic woman.

The blue dwarf reminded me of Shrug because he was a blacksmith who always complained about weapons that were made with aesthetics over function. Also constantly referenced bonners.

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oh no

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the layout of blue dorf’s workspace doesn’t make any fucking sense :expressionless:

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other dorf best character 2018 tho

Sindri has some bellows for his weird little forge fire box when you run into him in Alfheim but they’re on the other side of his anvil there is an anvil between his forge and bellows what in the sam hill

He makes a snide comment about how his brother needs to “temper his steel longer” because he’s “warping the bit work” this doesn’t make any sense

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Maybe it’s a dick joke

There ARE a lot of those, to be fair

It’s right after he upgrades the axe which his blue brother also has upgraded and the axe has a bit so I don’t think it’s a dick joke I think it’s just the developers of this game specifically targeting me (yes me) trying to make me lose sleep at night trying to make me write them angry letters and tweets trying to make me make more bad posts yes this is it

this is their plan

the whole god of war team had two goals:

  1. bad dad is bad… but what if he learned to be… not so bad… ???
  2. make shrug make more bad + petty posts about trivial nonsense
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