why
there is a Super Mario themed Pizza, and why it is 9 grams heavier than the Wario&Waluigi flavored versioné
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also it doesn’t have peach as a topping
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That’s how much Mario’s soul weighs and Wario doesn’t have one
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and waluigi is an angel so he doesn’t count
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does Mario’s soul weigh more if he has a super mushroom?
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the theologians are divided on this incredibly sensitive and controversial topic
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You know, as long as we’re talking about Mario, something I really do actually think about a lot re: Mario is something I think everyone knows at this point, which is how he’s purely a Popeye OC Miyamoto invented to console himself when Nintendo couldn’t secure the Popeye license even though he desperately wanted to make Popeye games instead and probably would stare wistfully at the moon late at night imagining Popeye having entertaining antics and escapades on the moon to an imagined hot jazz soundtrack. Then, Nintendo actually got the Popeye license soon after, and made Popeye (1982) and Popeye no Eigo Asobi (1983) and other such games, and Mario had no reason to exist anymore whatsoever in any sense and hasn’t ever since then. Yet, he lives on…like a cherubic lab gerbil that has been kept on as a pet long past the experiment he was bred for. (Actually I also think a lot about how Mario is an animal like a gerbil or hamster or woodchuck far more than he is a human, and also how he was officially deemed to be “Cat Mario” a few years ago and has been 100% canonically a cat ever since then.)
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lack of a mario version of Wimpy suggests the same discomfort with the dionysian perverse that led nintendo down their current saccharine path… wario does NOT count… maybe if there was some kind of amoral, hamburger-eating yoshi…
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(@1:21) this is one of my favorite bits of obscure enemy behavior i always forget hammer bros can do this and then like every dozenth playthrough of Super Mario Bros. they basically jumpscare me. The first time this happened when i was a kid it was the most frightening thing a video game had ever done to me in my short life
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This dude rocks
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this early 90s print ad, which appears to have some kind of vectorised recreations of screenshots from desert strike, streets of rage, monkey island and road rash
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damn they had super eagle back then?
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does this work
its David vinc talking about eating yuri from shadowhearts asshole and I think about it all the time
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wrong thread again
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already seeing people hand out props to youtube content man “donkey” for animal well, a game by someone else that was both five years on in development and was already getting press from the guardian and IGN before it got signed to his publishing label. well, i’ve heard enough - the model obviously works. regular ass dumb rich people were an insufficiently loud force in vgames production to begin with, what we really needed are dumb rich guys who are also celebrities with a built-in soapbox to an audience of fawning toadies parasocially-minded content afficionados. if there’s one thing that everyone’s been on-message about for the last five years it’s that videogame publishers are in fact your friends, not people for whom the best case scenario is a developer who does all the work, carries all of the risk and gets none of the money, and so any additional degree of leverage and power they’re able to hold over you is in fact for the best: for example the threat of being able to sic a large audience on you if the relationship grows sour, or milk said relationship for “WHAT WENT WRONG??” videos to distance themselves from the stench of failure, or just to drop everything and hop on some other seo train without much penalty if it seems like that’s what’s trending these days. yeah sorry the boss is very busy today he has a full nine hours of screaming slurs at 12yos in fortnite pencilled in the calendar. yeah no same thing tomorrow as well. anyway just being too negative about it i guess. if you take the kind of moral and artistic courage, and commitment to honesty in business dealings, that youtubers are famous for, and combine them with videogame publishers who ofc have similarly impressive reputations on all the same subjects, then it’s pretty hard for me to imagine the results not turning out swell.
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The counter but similar thing to do this is Game Grumps have funded like 4 games at this point and I’ve been waiting to see some opinion about them bubble up.
Supposedly Dream Daddys is good.
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The ideal would be the Cahiers route where critics become creators. I can only think of Erik Wolpaw and Greg Kasavin. Oh and certain Insert Credit folks, too. The key is you stop doing your job as a critic because now your work is to make something. Doesn’t really translate to these Youtube personalities because they’re hardly critics to begin with.
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there have been big yt people involved in vgames to different degrees for a long while but for the most part their enduring influence has been everything they touch trails comments like “Orbo’s Quest featuring necrosisgamer as the voice of the Machine Pig hits different after the Revelations 
” for the next five years
idk i just kind of hate all these people, especially “the good ones”, at the very best they are ed sheerans - vaguely amiable pud people with absolutely no critical or aesthetic accomplishments worth pissing on but who continue spreading moldlike into every aspect of public life just by being never quite noxious enough that anybody tells them no. if they wanted to help they could hand over their money without attaching a brand to it but thats an alien idea to rich guys bc they only ever see art as a bauble they can use to enhance their own presence. which is the eternal saga of arts patronage ofc but at best the guys being hit up to fund b-films or whatever were just dopey local dentists looking for a tax rebate and not yet more dead-eyed opportunist microcelebs trying to turn every piece of interesting art into a mirror that reflects their own fundamentally boring brand ubiquity. they’re not critics, they’re op-ed guys, and the only difference between them and whatever evil worm person is currently gracing your local editorial section is that they have more money and wear shorts. death to youtube
edit: maybe just cranky this week bc seeing people pour one out for steve albini, rip steve, never see yore like again etc sits side by side with a videogame scene where “whats wrong with ceding the space to rich guys without any ideas, commitments or principles” has always been the baseline opinion lol
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Every video game ive ever played has already taken vital minutes away from my time on this planet, I do not need a stranger to tell me why that’s a good thing.
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