Aw man–thanks guys! The more I write, the more I worry about crossing that threshold of derailing the thread or just coming off as really indulgent. But yeah: I think it’s a really worthwhile conversation, and I like the idea of Axe digressions happening in a main thread.
Yeah, I don’t think buying into masculinity (or femininity) actually connects to gender, but I think not having anxiety about gender identification makes it a lot easier to be honest with yourself (and then others) about where you fall on the Kinsey scale.
It’s weird to see the MRA movement emerge out of guys bonding together over gender anxieties. If only they understood that all their complaints (while often valid) are a different aspect of the same gender oppression that disenfranchises women. I just want to scoop them all up and be like, “We’re all in this together guys!” But I think the problem there is prejudice against an othered group (women), and it’s really hard to have empathy or sympathy for a type of person you’ve never actually engaged vulnerably.
I’m a huge Adventure Time fan and butt humor is a huge part of the show. But man, I just never got into that either!
Overall, I think my sense of humor is very verbal. I think most adults like conversational humor, so I don’t think that’s very unique, but maybe I’m limited in that I so strongly prefer it? I don’t really enjoy slapstick at all and never got into the three stooges or the clowning of Harpo Marx.
The exception to this might be that in recent years I’ve realized that I really like strong cartooning. I loved the first season of Regular Show primarily due to funny faces, and I think Kate Beaton is a mediocre artists and a brilliant cartoonist–her pictures are hilarious. Ditto for that dude that does those MGS recap cartoons.
Uncharitable self evaluation: at a young age I internalized a willfull pretension, part of which was deciding that I wouldn’t enjoy base humor.
More charitable: knowing this about myself, I’ve wondered if it also has something to do with gender (I don’t exclusively think through this prism, I swear). I think a big part of being acculturated as feminine is engaging in emotional intelligence–empathy, yes, but also an interest in social status and the currency of information (gossip), and the importance of familial relationships (playing house becomes The Sims becomes soap operas and People Magazine). Men, on the other hand, are acculturated toward varying levels of violence and stoicism in reaction to the consequences of violence (sports and playing war games, dusting yourself off becomes not going to the doctor unless you actually break something). I think slapstick trivializes violence in a way that feels relevant to men, while the “grossness” of toilet humor is identified as non-feminine (more so than explicitly “masculine”) early on, cutting off women from enjoying it. I’ve often wondered if by rejecting the masculine I was offered, I also signaled to myself that I should reject base humor. I know that part of my self construction was based on identifying with “intellectual” male role models, and connecting to the construction of the “90’s Man” as a thing that was good to be. So maybe that all signaled that poo poo jokes were a no no.
All this being said, btw, in many ways I’ve very much a dude. I tend to find male comedians funnier than female comedians, and while I’m grossed out by hyper-violence I still think kung fu and swords and shit are cool. I’m also pretty damn hetero, which I don’t think of as a gender thing, but is definitely conflated with gender identity, both formatively and in our society.
Working in a mostly female office with women who identify with a pretty middle-of-the-road version of femininity (as opposed to hanging with the kids who were gonna go to art school and then hanging with the kids who were in art school) has really shown me, by contrast, my dudeness.