this....is....my....SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Could have told me this was verbatim from the next F&F and I would have believed you

4 Likes

I couldn’t stop thinking about this dream, and I’ve now got a basic outline for a Fast and Furious sequel based on it.

For generations, the Dog Burglars have been a peaceful faction in Los Angeles. They play a vital ecological role, eating all the food waste left behind by the dogs of the city. They’ve always lived by a strict code – only eat food left behind by dogs, never harm dogs, only talk to other dog burglars, and do your best to elevate the social position of dogs. They are a close family.

Recently, there has been an ideological split in the LA Dog Burglar community. A group of rogue Dog Burglars have begun organizing public illegal dog races on the streets of LA, making massive amounts of money from interested spectators. Their rationale is that these races raise awareness for the plight of stray dogs, but it is obvious that this is self-serving.

These dog races quickly start impinging on territory where Dom and his family like to street race. Early in the film, there is a tense showdown when an annoyed Dom grumbles that cars can go faster than dogs anyway, but the dog burglars don’t listen and he is forced to reschedule his race.

Soon, family dogs begin mysteriously vanishing from their homes all over LA. At first, Dom and his family couldn’t give two shits, but then the O’Conner family dog disappears. Now the problem has touched their familia, and they are going to get to the bottom of it.

Using God’s Eye, the family is able to discover that the rogue Dog Burglars are behind Brian’s dog’s disappearance. They go undercover, pretending to be rich Dog Burglars from Tiburon, CA who have left their family seeking the thrills of dog racing. They participate in several dog races, and there are a lot of great jokes like when Dom races a Pitbull against a Shiba Inu and makes a crack about the superiority of American Muscle.

Anyway, it turns out that the Dog Burglars are in cahoots with a major international drug ring that is running drugs using dogsleds. They’re sending their fastest dogs that they’ve trained through street racing to be used by the drug ring. Dom and his family recover the O’Conner dog, who is now extremely buff from racing.

Through a series of hijinks involving Tej and Roman in their garage HQ, the O’Conner dog learns how to drive a car. Tej has built a driver’s seat that is suitable for a dog’s body, and the dog turns out to be a natural. He joins the core team as a capable member.

Unfortunately, the Dog Burglars, with their deep understanding of the dog psyche, have also developed the tools necessary for dogs to drive. In a dazzling series of action stunts, the Familia faces off against 700 dogs driving million dollar cars. There are dog jokes, like they roll a giant ball across the street and all the dogs that had been pursuing them get distracted and drive away to follow the ball, you get the idea.

The Familia beats the rogue Dog Burglars, breaks up the drug ring, and all family dogs are returned to their homes (though now really buff). This influx of buff dogs who can drive has a profound impact on Los Angeles that will be explored more thoroughly in the sequel.

Please look forward to THE FAST AND THE FURRIEST, next fall.

7 Likes

Rented Fast Nine.

Was moderately fun as they juggled a thousand characters and a world where guns do nothing.

Add it to the list of horrible “Tokyo” scenes in Modern Films.

4 Likes

why was Mia playing with the ramen the whole time?

Fucking 3 dollar walmart ramen bowls.

sadly they made a smart choice instead of doing fast 10 your seatbelts

12 Likes

Looks like a generic greatest hits album cover.

NOW That’s What I Call Fast

Edit: I think the real brave thing to do would make this finale a 4 parter. Fast X, And11, The Twelve, and 13 Furious. Maybe could have the secret fifth part, 1he 5ast and 1he 5urious.

6 Likes

damn what why is brie larson in this now when did that happen wtf

1 Like

uhh

4 Likes

Lin looks depressed here

5 Likes

this sucks!!

3 Likes

everything is ruined now

4 Likes

Im depressed this means he probably never will bring the rest of the cast of Better Luck Tomorrow into this franchise.

3 Likes

Better luck tomorrow!

1 Like

he looks on the verge of tears holy shit

4 Likes

:confused: starting to wonder if this will be my shit

this better not be your fault, vin

vin!

3 Likes

this isn’t the time to force a crossover with the riddickverse, vin!

4 Likes

I never thought I would post these words…

6 Likes

Justin wouldn’t be in Vin’s custom Riddickverse D&D campaign so Vin used his exec producer credit to force him out