The Simple and Clean Kingdom Hearts Thread



I feel kind of stupid for not realizing sooner that each of the Disney worlds in KH1 is themed around being a stranger in a new place (just like Sora) and the ones in KH2 is about accepting who you are (just like Roxas). Kind of makes me appreciate them slightly more in hindsight?

Chain of Memories was pretty obvious with its memories stuff and Birth by Sleep with Terra that we can redeem ourselves despite our dumbass mistakes. No clue about Ventus and Aqua though…

Kind of want to pay attention to to 358/2, DDD and Coded now to see if they were going for anything coherent.


358/2 is mostly just going for “teenage friendship is weird and it sucks when people grow out of being friends” and that is alright.

Coded is going for “what if the Matrix, but like way way way more stupid.”


Coded is saying into a hall of mirrors to your friend What If We’re In The Matrix Right Now. Not as a question.


All you need to know about Coded is that it doesn’t star Sora, but officially stars Data Sora.


Nomura has been hinting that Re:Coded and Data Sora will actually be SUPER IMPORTANT to KH3, the absolute madman.


Here’s a good video trying to catch up people on the story.

At least I think it’s good, I tuned out after like 4 minutes. The comments mention getting brain damage and aneurysms from listening to this so exercise caution lol


Polygon gave the game an 8 or something and everyone is losing their minds it’s great/predicatable. It sounds like it has the exact same problems as every other KH game!


Also like…the end of the game is a day one patch, so I might wait on the review till then, but also it’s 2019 and kids still care way too much about review scores.

Like of course this game is as clunky and silly and stupid as a Kingdom Hearts game. It’s a Kingdom Hearts game.


this is pitiful


Tim wrote an Action Button Dot Net style review of KH3 days after making a video calling KH3 “unreviewable”


whichever of you plays this game please please capture this for me


Calling the Bottom Line now “Back of the box quote” feels like a kind of deep betrayal somehow.


Is there some 1 weird trick web magic I can perform to have this page be displayed with white text on a pure black background?


not sure, but I wonder if this:

is an oblique reference


KH3 sponsoring NXT Takeover is making me feel incredibly targeted.


Holy shit y’all, there is some funny as hell shit in this game. Some bullets:

  • You don’t even begin the game playing KH3. Instead, the first like 2.5 hours are actually KH II.9. This is great. It’s the first sign that maybe they are in on the joke. Maybe.
  • Everyone keep cracking jokes about how long it has been. Sora in particular says this repeatedly, and then someone is always like “not really”.
  • Previous eras of Nomura have been the belt era (ff10), the chain era (KH1) and the zipper era (like everything after that). I think we have moved into his plaid period. This is great.
  • Someone at my office was complaining about Sora seeming like a dick now and that being new, and I am pretty sure this person last played a KH game 12 years ago because nope, he’s still just Sora (get that paycheck, Haley Joel Osment).


Phil appearing in one scene and having no spoken lines felt like the most kingdom hearts thing possible.


He shows up twice, and nope, never gets a voice because they didn’t want to get Danny Devito? I have no idea.