The Habit, or, There and Back(log) Again

Hmm, this says i have spent just over $745 on Steam over 12 years and on 419 games, although I assume that all the Steam keys I got in various bundles and other sites don’t count towards that total. That’s not bad at all, really.

I could have just become a modular synth guy.

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I probably should have bought stocks or something

My total spent is far above yours somehow, but I guess I’ve bought more games at full price than I would think for a Console Gamer who always has an underpowered device. Actually pretty shocked. Then again I think I’ve spent 50~ a sale biyearly since 2003.

Screenshot 2023-04-08 174450

Oh wait there have been those times during the pandemic where I’ve bought all my friends the same game so they have a good time. Like with Dragon Marked for Death and Sakuna Of Rice And Ruin. Yeah that number makes more sense now. That number…shows I cared.

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Spent about a 138 dollars a year on average over eighteen years. I think it’s easy to look back and go ‘what if I had spent it on something else’ but like, past me probably did think it was better than something else. I kinda think beating oneself up over choices they made on entertainment just hurts you in the now, and it’s good to also be skeptical of like, how the system simultaneously wants to to consume but also prove you were efficient in buying The Stuff that Really Mattered because who the fuck knows what that is until after the fact anyway?

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I look at the amount I spent and go “that seems like a pretty fair deal to me,” yeah maybe I didn’t play all those games but like as far as hobbies go it seems pretty mild, like spending $8 on an otome game I played for 5 minutes was probably better for me than like 90% of the other shit I woulda spent that money on

No not spending money is not an option sometimes you just spend money when you don’t have much money okay that’s just what happens

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I picked up Canon Dancer with PSN credit I had sitting around and this is after picking up the Rayforce Collection a few months ago and the Atari 50 as a belated Christmas gift.

I get mad and upset every time I think about starting them. You know it isn’t just because of video games because of how much I’ve been enjoying the PC Engine lately.

I even cancelled Zeldo2. I am sure I will get caught up once the forum is on fire about it next week.

My general feeling is I am done with new games. I even felt put upon by a free month of game pass that let me try games I wanted to play. No more new games! Leave me alone.

I am sure I’ll play Lost Judgement some time in the next 3 years. I only bought it on Black Friday 2 years ago.

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I gotta stop buying Fanatical bundles. Recently I bought a bunch of mystery keys and they were like literally all multiplayer games I will never play, lol.

I should forget that website exists for the sake of my wallet and sanity.

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Did I put $56 worth of games in various Fanatical bundles in my cart? Yes. And then I walked it all back and bought nothing. This feels like progress.

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See, I just check what’s in the fanatical bundles, maybe consider one if it has something I’ve had on my Steam wishlist for a while now, otherwise I just go to steamgifts and enter the virtual raffle for any of the bundle games I found slightly interesting and if the universe wants me to try it I’ll hit my half a percent odds raffle.

So far the universe doesn’t want me to try them.

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I have a brand new Xbox Series S in an unopened box and increasingly I’m thinking about selling it and using the money to buy a bike secondhand off of Craigslist.

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So you can get rewards points of sorts from the Google Play store, and one way is by just checking in on the app weekly.

Well this time around instead of points I got a three month trial to Google Game Pass or whatever it’s called, which makes a whole bunch of games available for free. So I went ahead and downloaded a boatload of games onto my phone. Sound the backlog klaxon!

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Playing many games broadly versus one or two games in a dedicated way is something I’ve thought a lot about recently. This is due to 2023 actually turning out to be a pretty good games year on the whole with a lot of good releases across the spectrum.

I feel a weird duty to play a lot I guess cos I wanna stay up to date and there’s enough that personally appeals to me. But it does sometimes feel more of a struggle to enjoy as many games as possible than to simply enjoy what I’m doing in the moment.

What I’m trying to say is Pikmin 4 is both something I want to play and a game I wish would come out some other month. Tales of Berseria meanwhile has been on my backlog for like 6 years.

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Same and same!

I think, maybe as a function of getting older and having less time I am less concerned about being conversant in the medium as a whole or whatever because it turns out there are a lot of genres and even individual Important Games/Franchises that I just don’t like enough to spend time with. Past me bought a lot of games thinking that I ought to be “well read” and now I’m thinking more, well I’ve got an unending appetite for specific types of games maybe I’ll just own that and not throw “good money” (read: time) after bad.

But then sometimes I’m like "but I really should restart Bloodborne even though I’m about a decade late to the party.

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Based on error codes it appears the memory card in my PSTV is corrupt. My games are inaccessible at the moment. What’s on there is mostly a few JRPG curiosities, and some things I’d been meaning to revisit and/or complete.

I can’t even successfully format the memory card.

My options:

  1. Abandon entirely.
  2. Buy a third party microSD card adapter, and a decent microSD card, then redownload all my stuff.
  3. Abandon the system with the idea of maybe emulating the games one day.

3 has a very high probability of turning into 1. Frankly so does 2. Surprised myself by working up the gumption to even set the system up today.

Edit: frankly might just kick the can down the road on this decision anyway.

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Alternate, sell PSTV for 200 bucks.

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eBay listings seem to be all over the place, and I think I’m missing the original HDMI cable. But… Yeah I guess I could probably make a few bucks by selling this. Then I’m really committed to emulation or abandonment of this little chunk of the backlog.

Much to think about, etc etc.

So I did sell that PSTV. And I have moved my PS4 from the living room TV to my little office setup and I’ve hooked it up to my monitor. It looks great on this thing! Maybe I’ll be able to play in snippets. Kinda felt weird to get up to much Gaming in a room that had become a Baby Zone.

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I have recently started collecting action figures and it might do my psyche more good than buying games because all I’m expected to do is put them on my shelf. It’s a collection, not a backlog!

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Collecting action figures is a sickness, and I still buy more games than I play. Most of the past few months was Tears of the Kingdom and Adaca, I think. Mario & Rabbids too but I might abort that playthrough and start something completely new rather than return to it. I’m eager for something fresh.

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