If I had slightly less dignity I would be the biggest Japanese comedian. That Why Japanese People guy is on fucking McDonalds commercials and all he does is say this thing is weird and then scream. And god bless him for riding that gravy train. I would too. I would also know deep down I was a fraud and nothing I have done has ever been funny.
The following has been a review of candy crash saga.
I wish Tom’d start doing the audiocollages more often again, those were essential
wwwuuuuUUUUUHHHAAH
SAVAGE
440. ILLUSION OF GAIA

I didn’t think much of this game back in the day but then I learned Moto Hagio did the character designs, so now I think it’s good. There’s not a trace of Hagio to be found in-game, and I barely remember anything else about it, but it’s good. I think there’s a bit where you’re stuck on a raft? Maybe a sequence where you’re wrongfully imprisoned? Maybe this game is really depressing? I am pretty sure there’s a rich girl whose ill-tempered pet pig smashes up a house, and if this was about her I’d remember every fucking detail about it.
I present you with a challenge, gentle reader: make a game about that girl and her pet pig. It would surely be a hit. I know I’d pay $60 for it. Especially if you went hogwild with the alliteration. Like, you don’t have to call it Pampered Princess Porky & Her Pal Swineflu but y’know…you could.
439. SUB-TERRANIA
FUCK THIS SHIT I CAN’T EVEN BEAT THE FIRST STAGE
439. ATOMIC RUNNER CHELNOV - NUCLEAR MAN, THE FIGHTER

Now this is more like it. This is a good game.
Wikpedia claims Chelnov is an infinite runner. It’s not. It is an autoscroller where you can’t run backwards but you can stand still. I’m pretty sure it is finite. I haven’t beaten it but I think I saw the ending on Game Center CX. You can throw boomerangs and fireballs and do somersaults and shoot candles for powerups so it kinda feels like someone took a bunch of assets from 1987 Konami games and made the weirdest best romhack.
So that mislabeling upsets me because there is a lot of exciting information on Wikipedia and now I don’t know if I can trust any of it. Here are some things I learned that I also hope are true:
Please tell me this is all true. If it’s all hoaxes…well, I request the Data East vandal please speak up. I know you’re on here cuz that’s SB-level lunacy.
438. KING’S QUEST
Roberta Williams is one of my major inspirations. We share a birthday and a hatred of all the dumb poor people who ruined PC gaming. Things were better before the Voodoo 2 and deathmatch and GameFAQs. Look at that page from the official King’s Quest hintbook, offering a step-by-step solution to solving the riddle of Rumplestiltskin. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? If you disagree sorry, maybe you should throw your computer in the trash and leave personal computing to brainiacs like me and the geniuses at Sierra On-Line.
I promise my game will sell at least as much as King’s Quest and feature twice as many scenes about having social anxiety in front of leprechauns.
I promise I will restore honor and intelligence to computer gaming.
437. SIMEARTH
I was going to bump this from the list cuz all the screenshots looked like the most miserable game for nerds but then I found this, which is very lovely. Gonna pretend it’s from the PC-Engine CD-ROM version. It’s that cool.
Remember how Wil Wright donated to the 2008 McCain campagin? Remember how all those Call of Duty guys did too? Remember how Modern Warfare had all those Dick Cheney quotes yet people still thought that game was good and had Things to Say.
Yesterday I learned that Wyclef Jean from the Fugees claimed to be a fan of Sarah Palin and that didn’t surprise me in the least cuz that dude seemed to be gunning for Bono’s crown as the pop world’s dumbest wannabe politician. But I read this on Wikipedia, which cited the original source as Women’s Wear Daily, so again, not sure how trustworthy that site is since it got Chelnov’s genre wrong.
436. REZ

My search for “Hitachi Magic Wand Fan Art” was one of my biggest disappointments since Rez but then I found this fake Keith Haring being passed off as legit and I can’t stop laughing.
It is fake, right.
Maybe if I had a Trance Vibrator I’d like REZ but even then I dunno. I doubt it would be as fun as some time with a buttplug and the Steep Slope Sliders visualizer. If I’m gonna get rude I’m gonna do it proper.
435. THE MANHOLE

Little known fact: if you become close friends with Rand Millar he’ll let you play the super secret unreleased The Manhole 2: Welcome Leathermen.
Another little known fact: I am making a Hypercard-styled game – that’s DDD: THE NATURAL PLAYBOYS, the best game of all time – yet I have never played a proper Hypercard game.
Myst doesn’t count. I played it on PC and I don’t think that version used Hypercard.
I used to live near the Manhole in Chicago. I never went in. I was too chicken. I don’t think I was buff enough. I don’t think I could ever be buff enough to enter an establishment that holds a regular Dog Tag Night.
But who knows, maybe if I end up with my own Myst-sized hit on my hand I’ll be able to afford that top tier gear and get so fuckin’ swole and then…and then…
434. DRAGON WARRIOR

I went looking for scans from the Dragon Warrior manual but I found this old doodle I did instead. I think I was messing around with color in the new version of Manga Studio? I never showed anyone cuz this was back when there were all these older dudes doing back knockoffs of Michael DeForge and I was like “This looks kinda like one of those people drew it.” Took 15 minutes! Who cares!! No loss!
But here it is, 4 years later!! Are there still lots of 40 years old aping DeForge? Probably! I don’t read anymore so I wouldn’t know.
I think Dragon Warrior is a wonderful, underrated game. I recommend pouring some wine, loading it up in an emulator, and spending 2-3 hours fastforwarding through the entire thing. It is nice playing a game where NPC text is often puzzle hints. Cuz the game has puzzles! It’s almost like an adventure game! And the Ye Olde English shit is cute. I loathe the accents in the post-Dragon Quest 8 localizations. I was all hyped to buy my Pokémon-loving nephew a copy of DQ4 as a gift but then it it came out and it was like reading fucking Trainspotting but way worse cuz there are no references to the opening scene in Jean Claude Van Damme’s LIONHEART where they set that dude on fire. What kid’s gonna put up with that shit??
433. THE IMMORTAL
When I was a kid I had all these friends whose parents were square faux-religious types who were super strict about content filtering, and others whose parents were immigrants and they just did not give a fuck about what they watched but they went to church every week so I think they may have had it way worse. Hanging with the latter group was always thrilling, like the one slumberparty where we spent all night dying in the Immortal and rewinding that dude getting set on fire in LIONHEART. We rewound that for at least an hour. We laughed until we cried and, I think, literally passed out. I bet that was the best fuckin’ birthday that guy ever had.
I haven’t played this game since. I wonder if it’s any good.
432. SNIPPERCLIPS

I’m a very lonely man with no friends or lovers. That’s unlikely to change anytime soon. So purchasing Snipperclips was probably a mistake. Perhaps I thought owning a Nintendo Switch would change my life? And it has: I like games again. But it hasn’t brought more people into my home so perhaps it is a failure. Perhaps video games are as well.
I did play this in co-op once. It was with my mother. It was the fourth game she ever played: the first was Super Monaco GP at a 7-11; there was a flag girl in a swimsuit and I felt the need to apologize and tell her “not all games are like this, Mom! None of them are! Things are weird in arcades!” Then she played Wii Bowling once, said “I want to buy this for everyone in the family and we can have parties every week!” but she never touched it again. And a few years back she sang some songs in Beatles Rock Band. She still talks about how much fun that was. Probably because it was just singing.
So she doesn’t know how to use a controller but she did OK at Snipperclips considering. I got frustrated but y’know, tried not to let it show. She was showing improvement. Seemed to be having a good time. I asked if she wanted to give another shot a few weeks later and she had absolutely no memory of ever playing a video game. So yeah games are a failure I guess.
431. TONGUE OF THE FATMAN
OR
Yeah I do oral. Tell your mom.
Remember that time Keith Haring partnered with Tenga to make Keith Haring patterned (and textured) JO sleeves?
Good times(?)
One of my friends does hitachi fan art but I’d feel too weird asking her for a sticker to put in with this stack of zines that I’m definitely mailing you when you get back from exploring the world! I have not forgotten!
430. EGGERLAND
I have this RPG idea I’ve been toying with over the last few weeks. It’s a really good idea and you’d probably be playing a demo of it right now if I hadn’t forgotten everything I knew about using RPG Maker. But despite the idea being fabulous my main motivation comes from wanting to release a game that has photographs of miniatures as its box art, because that is one of my favorite things. That is why I bought the copy of Boomer’s Adventure in ASMIK World you see above. It cost me 180 yen. It was worth it for that label.
The Japanese version of Adventure of Lolo also has a photographic miniature cover, but it’s not all clay. Its Lolo and Lala are very furry. It’s super precious, and I wish someone would make a game that looked like that. What are some games that use stop motion other than Clayfighter and the Swapper? Why don’t any of them look like Lolo?
429. STREET FIGHTER II’: RAINBOW EDITION
I played this for the first time against Rudie yesterday. I won. I played Zangief. I could not figure out how to throw a fireball or transform into Blanka but Gief has a fast dash and I pulled off many mid-air SPDs so this is the best Street Fighter game ever.
428. HEAVY RAIN
So David Cage is the absolute worst but it’s thanks to him that I fell in love with Select Button, cuz boy did you folks hate this game. Almost as much as I did! I saw all that bile and felt like I’d finally found a home on-line, even though it took like 10 years to workup the nerve to actually post.
I would like everyone to note I showed some restraint and did not use a single screenshot featuring a toilet or shower scene. I think this means I am even more feminist than David Cage. Not saying I didn’t do a google image search for such scenes, but I didn’t post the results.
427. X-COM: UFO DEFENSE
I highly recommend watching the Spewie episode of Get A Life as it’s more harrowing than any X-COM game. Don’t watch the time traveling one, that one gets pretty problematic! Also I deserve credit for showing some restraint and using this gif instead of the one where Spewie leaks yogurt from his elbows.
426. KILLER 7
I fasted during the Summer of 2007. Like, for weeks. Didn’t eat a thing! Thought it might get me healthy. It kinda did? I lost a bunch of weight and was taking huge dumps every day despite not eating a damn thing. But it also left me real light-headed and confused and during that time I played Bioshock and loved it so it really affected my critical faculties. So maybe fasting is bad and you shouldn’t do it.
During that fast I passed by a Johnny Rockets and it was the sweetest aroma I ever did smell in my life. That may be more embarrassing than spending half a day thinking Bioshock was good.
Anyway during that fast I also played KILLER 7. I got further than I ever had before but also quit before disc 2 cuz like who gives a fuck. You just hold down A and shoot things sometimes and there are anime cutscene. Whatever! Game needed more intense moral dilemmas if you ask me.
So yeah don’t do drugs, always eat, and respect my opinions. Bioshock is better than KILLER 7
Time zones suck!!
425. DENSHA DE GO
I love arcade games more than anything else but I do not mourn the death of the American arcade. That shit was expensive. I remember when the price leapt from 25 cents per credit to 50 and that’s when I tapped out. I couldn’t afford that shit! And that’s way cheaper than Japan, where it’s almost always been 100 yen (almost $1!) to play a cool gamesoft. In America I’m pretty thrifty. If I’m by my lonesome I will not spend any money to have a good time! But overseas anything goes. I was dropping so many yencoins in arcade machines. Partially cuz it was fun and partially cuz carrying around change is a fucking burden. The less of it rattling around in my pocket the better! This is horrible thinking so next time I go back I am going to get a change purse.
Unfortunately that “next time” is probably a ways off. Went a bit wild at the game center playing the new Densha De Go, you see. @Rudie covered my first credit but after that it was all me, swiping my Suica all over that cab. One time I accidentally bought 900 yen worth of credits doing this and any other time, any other place, any other game I would have been cursing myself…but here I was very happy. I was with @bhendahu at the time, and I think I apologized a bunch for being so sloppy, but inside I was overjoyed. 900 yen gives you like 15 minutes worth of train time! I love trains now, even though I’m very bad at Densha De Go.
My dad worked on trains. He never really talked about it with me. I think he started off cleaning them and slowly worked his way up the ladder. Got a big promotion at one point, shortly after shaving his beard. He later told me that one way to get people to take you seriously is to shave. I have not followed his advice. Seeing him without a beard was always odd, and when he only had a mustache it was really odd. Dude started looking like Luigi. Still handsome, but y’know…you can only be so handsome when you’re looking like Luigi.
At one point he gave me a job application for the MTA. I think I filled it out but I did not submit it. It was a long fuckin’ commute! And I’d have to ride those shitty trains. And I’d have to work. No thanks. He also gave me an MTA hat and jacket. I wonder if wearing them means you can ride those shitty trains and do citizen’s arrests for free.
My dad once took my nephews to a train rodeo. They were very excited, thinking they were gonna see trains doing tricks and getting lassoed, like at the rodeos cowboys do. But it was just trains sitting around, not doing anything in some yard? The kids complained a lot about it when they got home. They complained about it for years afterwards. And my dad complained about them, and what little monsters they were. I guess it became a treasured family memory of sorts, the really lame train rodeo. Feel kinda left out that I never went.
My dad retired early, cuz he hated his job, and died soon after, cuz his job killed him. They used some real nasty chemicals to clean trains back in the day! Everyone in his crew got cancer from it. I think he was the last one to go. None of them sued. I think that was pretty foolish, personally. Think you should get some compensation if your job fuckin’ kills you. Think you’d wanna make some big bucks so your son could buy his own gold-plated Densha De Go cabinet with a custom “IN MEMORY OF MY POPS” nameplate on it. I bet I’d be a real pro at braking and honking horns for train otaku if I had my own custom cab…
If they ever do Densha De Go at a Games Done Quick the above paragraph will be attached to a donation and they better read the whole damn thing.
First thing I did when I got home last week was look up prices for home versions on eBay. I could probably get one for less than I dropped on the arcade version but again, way thriftier at home, thank goodness. But if I ever hit the big time you better believe I’m gonna splurge and go by train all day every day.
424. BATTLE JOCKEY
I only played this for 5 minutes cuz it was a Salaryman Corner game for the SNES Exploration Squad podcast and that’s more time than any of those games deserve, but during those 5 minutes I saw this, the greatest attract mode that isn’t Dimahoo. I think the game itself might actually be the only Salaryman Corner game I’ve played that might be worth investing more time into but like…should I bother? Is any of it gonna be as good as this? No. In a kinder world people would have spent 20 years quoting this instead of Zero Wing. In a kinder world we all help us grateful.
423. MISCHIEF MAKERS
Actually now that I think about it that was my reaction to the AKI WCW games for N64. I was angry I had to play with the dpad and that the games didn’t have Street Fighter-style special inputs. I preferred WWF Attitude. In that game if you hit like down then forward then back then square you could do a Stone Cold Stunner and it felt like shit but at the time it made more sense to me than the AKI grapping system!
That was the wrongest I’ve ever been in my life. That’s way more embarrassing than the “I thought Bioshock was a good game for like 5 hours” confession in my previous post.
I haven’t played Mischief Makers since it came out but I kinda feel like 90’s Treasure is vastly inferior to 00’s Treasure. Like all those games minus maybe Gunstar are more interesting than good. I also know if I went back and replayed all those games I’d probably feel ashamed of this statement, though not too ashamed: 100% certain most of those 00’s games are fuckin’ great. No way the 90’s stuff eclipses it.
Also what’s the deal with the last suggestion in the screenshot above. Is this game based on the Quran.
422. BIGFOOT
One time my father took me and a friend to a “tractor pull”. I had no clue what the fuck a tractor pull was but it sounded like a very divorced dad thing to do. Turned out it was a contest of sorts to see how far trucks could pull trailers loaded with giant cans of Budweiser. It was very lame. There was also an interlude where a truck transformed into a robot that was kinda like Truckasaurus from the Simpsons, but instead of eating cars it just stood upright and shot red lasers everywhere while a track by the Edgar Winter Group played. I kinda got into that. And after the #1 tractor puller was determined there was the true Main Event: a superstar monster truck showdown, where Grave Digger took on Bigfoot to see who could do a better job crushing cars. This excited me. It wasn’t as good as a demolition derby but it was some form of contained mayhem, and I could get down with that. So when the announcer asked us fans to cheer on Bigfoot I followed his instructions and politely hooted and hollered and clapped. And I continued to do this until my father and best friend started shooting me dirty looks, as if they were ashamed of my antics. I do not believe I was making a scene. I was probably the most well-mannered young man at this tractor pull. And it is not like they were rooting against purehearted babyface Bigfoot and for the rudo Grave Digger; they were just sitting there stonefaced until they turned in unison to glare at me and fill my soul with shame. So I just slumped down and sat on my hands and waited for the show to end. I think Bigfoot won. Maybe the winner was determined by audience response but I may be confusing this with Showime at the Apollo.
So yeah I stopped emoting in public for like 25 years after that. Whatta buncha cranks. Though maybe it’s for the best. What if I’d gotten super into monster trucking? That would be so embarrassing. Whole thing is a sham! Polar opposite of pro-wrestling, which is very good, and king of sports.
421. YOSSY’S COOKIE
I have no memory of playing this game but I did play the import of Super Mario World shortly after it came out. It was a very exciting, mysterious game. No tutorial, couldn’t read the manual, no other kids at school had it. The pianos sounded like real pianos. It had a dinosaur. It had lots of secrets. It was my favorite.
I didn’t know you could bounce off spiky shit using the spin jump until I watched some Kaizo Mario video. I thought that was just for breaking blocks.
I took the manual with me to a Japanese restaurant and asked the owner to translate it for me. She was a busy lady so she didn’t have the time for such things but she did tell me the dinosaur’s name was Yoshi. I was really pissed off, cuz my friends and I had named the green dinosaur Bill. The blue one was Gil, the yellow one was Phil, the red one was…uh…Will? They all rhymed, that’s what I remember! And we thought these names were way better than Yoshi. So this nice lady had her fancy restaurant filled with a bunch of suburban pre-pubescent shitheads groaning loudly about how shitty Japanese names sounded. Kids sure do suck, huh.
i had kinda fell behind on this thread, so I was going through it, and I do this thing a lot when I’m reading something more than sixteen words long on the internet where I take a break because I’m a degenerate, and often when I do that part of my break consists of me kind of reflexively opening select button and doing nothing, cause that’s what yall are good for mostly. and I bet you figured it out but I took a break from this and I figured I may as well open select button and boy was my face red
I do this with Twitter like, once a day
i went to a monster truck show for the first time a few years ago, with only the knowledge of a few truck Names, including Bigfoot and Grave Digger, and not only did i find out from others that you can seemingly name a Truck after any franchise you want (Hawaiian Punch? Scooby Doo? Family Guy??) but there were, at that same event, three different versions of Grave Diggers, including Grave Digger, Digger’s Destruction and Grave Digger: The Legend (which i think might have actually been driven by the father of the current GD?) and now all i want is a prestige family drama series about monster trucks and their drivers (and i’m just gonna link to this before anyone might have a chance to)
anyways, i guess what i’m saying is, if you give me enough alcohol, i will scream for any kind of large jumping truck
420. ULTIMATE MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3
I have spent most of my life “sober as a judge” but the first time I did any kind of drug was in Miami in 2012. I took some mushrooms in my friend’s apartment and I had “a bad trip” where I felt like I was made out of wet cement and I kept grinding my teeth.
When I started feeling a bit better I was disappointed by the lack of visual hallucinations, cuz thanks to cartoons and movies and such I was lead to believe that was a big part of the 'shroom experience. Since the apartment lacked any blacklight posters I whipped out my phone and tried to find a twitch stream of Marvel vs Capcom 3, which is a game with some very nice yellows and purples, but those colors don’t really pop on a 3" screen at a bleary 240p.
I’m very cool but for a brief moment drugs turned me into a total dork. I’ve been (mostly) straight edge ever since.
Anyway remember when Kusoru came from Japan and beat all those Americans at Marvel using Viewtiful Joe/Frank West/Rocket Raccoon? That was hilarious. That guy is my fucking hero.
419. IGNITION FACTOR
You don’t gotta shout at me buddy. My hose is ready to go at any time.
I don’t think I’ve ever played this game but it’s not as good as Burning Rangers. I’ve also barely played Burning Rangers but I did own it and it’s for the Sega Saturn, the #3 console after NEC PC Engine and Nintendo Family Computer. If you disagree please fire off in the comments.
418. DONKEY KONG 94
Feel like half the image searches I do for the games on this list give me UK ads that are loaded with really awful euphemisms. I always download them and intend to use them but delete them before posting cuz holy shit, do I wanna post an ad that’s like “GO BANANAS NUTTING IN DK’S FIST”? I don’t. They say sex sells but I ain’t buying…I’m selling. 
I believe Donkey Kong 94 is the best Nintendo game of the 90’s and, maybe, the best game of the 90’s. I say this despite never completing it, but I gotta say playing this game on a Game Boy Pocket while watching BET Comic View with my friends is one of my treasured memories. Maybe cuz it was one of the few times in my life I actually did things with friends but…Comic View was good. Anime Club is going to start watching complete episodes of Def Comedy Jam before the year is out. I will never give up until everyone I know appreciates the beauty of Bernie Mac’s airbrushed jeans.
417. DOUBLE DRAGON II
The other day I saw this dude on Instagram sharing photos of his new Amiga setup. I’ve had a really rough month filled with self-loathing but that made me feel really good about myself. I may be lonely and homely and unloved but at least I’m not so far gone I buy a fucking Amiga, cuz the Amiga has no good games.
I say this having never actually played an Amiga game but I don’t need to. Look at that image above. That’s the Amiga cover for Double Dragon II: The Revenge. It is bad. Got more mullets than the NES version. The gall is showing more butt, which might be good, but she’s looking more distressed, which is bad. On the NES box she looks like she’s kinda into this shit. Like maybe she got kidnapped on purpose cuz watching dudes brawl and do murders for her is her thing. Also this looks like it was done by some dope who probably spent most of his career doing airbrushed Cadbury ads or some shit, while the NES box was someone doing their very best Tetsuo Hara impersonation (or maybe Hara himself?? I’ve heard conflicting stories). So yeah, the Amiga is awful and for racists. Sorry if you like the Amiga, but it’s true.
Also sorry if you enjoy beat ‘em ups but they’re maybe the worst genre of gamesoft. I won’t get into that here – I’m gonna be droppin’ fuckin’ loads of hot takes on the next Snexploration podcast – but it’s true: beltscrolls are bad.
416. THE FROG FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS
The other day at 3AM I woke up and gamer streamed this. I had 2 viewers and I like to think we all had a good time. I tried streaming Shigesato Itoi’s fishing game prior to that but that was a bust. Too much Japanese in that thing. Shoulda kept it unplayed. Shoulda just continued to admire its fabulous box art.
This game was in English though, thanks to a “fan patch”. You need to be able to read the words in this one, cuz it’s like a proto-Link’s Awakening. There is a lot of text, and it is kinda “janky,” as some folks say. When I think Nintendo I think “super polished gamesoft” but boy, this is frequently unresponsive and sloppy. I loved that. Like hearing your favorite band play a messy live set, or learning your super hot crush has a pimple on their butt or hair on their back. (Hi, I think I have hair on my back now – I dunno when that happened but whatever, I don’t care, I ain’t gonna shave that shit unless someone volunteers to do it for free.) This game humanized Nintendo for me, which might not be good but…Nintendo is good. Sorry, I’m a mark for Nintendo, and loved getting confirmation that they just released buggy shit in Japan and fixed it up for the rest of the world.
Also I’ll probably stream this again tomorrow so if you wanna watch a dude repeatedly fail at a game for children while griping about how no one appreciates him please tune in to https://twitch.tv/bachelorsoft and I will definitely entertain you.
415. EARTHBOUND
The last time I played Earthbound was 2012. I had completed it numerous times before that but that time I was totally blindsided by the bit at the end where you say your prayers. I’d totally forgotten that shit. But I did it. I fell to my knees in front of my desk and I prayed sincerely to this fucking game and I am not ashamed. God is real, and God listens to gamesoft. Also it’s okay to spoil the prayer moment here cuz if you haven’t played Earthbound you’ll probably forget I spoiled it after spending 80 hours watching HP meters spin and shit.
There is a moment in Earthbound where Ness gets a glimpse at his parents when he was a newborn. They were still very young, and in awe of their child. It hit me hard. Made me realize my parents were like that once too probably. I’d spent years feeling they were super cynical folks but this game…kinda made me realize they were deeply traumatized people who were trying to do their best. That maybe they really did love me, but they had Circumstances that made things difficult.
I think I am now older than both my parents were when I was born. This blows my mind. Makes it even easier for me to forgive them for their faults cuz holy shit, imagine if I had a kid? I’d probably be collecting Funko Pops and forcing my 3 year old to 1CC Super Mario World before they’re allowed to use the potty. But I also think maybe I’ve done the right thing by isolating myself for most of my life. Maybe I’ve minimized the hurt I would have caused. Maybe this is a poison thought. I dunno. Currently thinking I should be alone amongst the cacti though.
So yeah you should probably force someone you love to play Earthbound.
414. TANGO STRIKE
OK actually I’d probably be a way better parent than my grandmother cuz I think she once covered my uncle in olive oil and left him on a windowsill cuz he was crying too much. Maybe she thought some hobo would come and take him away, like he was some kinda pie – in case you didn’t know 70% of early 20th century comedy revolved around pies cooling on windowsills, often stolen by hobos – but instead he just slipped off that windowswill and fell a few stories into, like, the garbage.
He survived the fall but boy, he sure was a bitchy adult. Maybe that fall did a number on him.
Anyway I don’t know what this game is – again, much of this list was pulled from you, the reader – but I also believe a “covert.d” is required. I don’t kiss and tell. 
Believe it.
413. THE SOPRANOS: ROAD TO RESPECT
The Sopranos is the best TV show that isn’t the first 8 seasons of the Simpsons.
In case you haven’t noticed I have very vanilla tastes.
Someday I might try playing the video game on gamer stream but for now, no. I can’t do that shit alone. Big on laughs over here but dunno if i can handle a terrible Sopranos adaptation right now. That shit is my Rosetta stone. That shit helped me figure out my life.
I maybe should have saved this clip for #1 but despite having vanilla tastes I’m all about breaking the rules so here it is, #413. Goodnight. I’m going to sleep at noon.
Given the whole thing with both players fighting each other at the end of the original, this makes a lot of sense really.
The frog for whom the bell tolls is the first game I ever gamer streamed
Just stumbled on this and spent the last hour or so reading it all, thanks for posting it. I did the Frankie Teardrop challenge a few years ago too and man, going in blind like that with some good headphones in the dark made me feel like a terrified kid watching the shadows on his wall again, primal shit.
This thread has now made me want to play Obsidian. Already a success by all accounts!
GENKI TALE: SIDE STORY’S CORNER
I wrote a ton of words but I’m too tired to proofread so I’ll post them tomorrow or on Saturday. For now here’s a screenshot from WALLABY!! for PC engine. If I recall correctly it’s a game about gambling on kangaroo races. That is a koala smoking a cigarette. I am not sure if the koala is a janitor or a bookie or a convict but I do know it has a very unhealthy habit.
And here’s a muscle man playing kickball from the PC Engine title KICKBALL. Possibly the first appearance of Heihachi of TEKKEN fame?
Thank you for your patience. It will be rewarded.
kickball is one of those pcengine games i always see cheap, but don’t bother getting because it sounds boring.
but now all that has changed. if i see it for less than £5, i’ll totally get it now
![Atomic Runner (U) [!]-171222-023910](http://selectbutton.s3.dualstack.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/original/3X/2/9/29359e1d27278679e4fad2d0597041dddfc366fe.jpg)
