lies
Itâs my favorite Sonic game by far
2 Likes
Then thereâs me, my favorite is Manhattan Project
5 Likes
why isnât there a turtles cart racer, Konami surely MUST have thought of trying that?
Call it Turtles in Time Trial or so
(wait a minute, what a treasure trove of titles for a series:
Turtles in Q1,
Turtles in Warm-Up
Turtles On Grid Walk,
Endurance Turtles,
24H of Le TurtlĂŠs,
World Turtles Championship
âŚ
my childhood has been stolen by cowards in suits 
)
6 Likes
courtroom trial simulator where you play as a prosecutor hired by the ninja turtles to convict the entire mario kart racing team of warcrimes for desecrating the corpses of fallen turtle comrades by using their shells as weapons
10 Likes
they should show scenes of the carnage in a very Death Race 2000-esque way, with the crowd cheering as something gets run over, âThat was 1,000 points! Youâll get a multiplier if theyâre senior citizens, and a mega multiplier if theyâre under 10!â.
MARIO KARNAGE: CHRONICLING THE MARIO KART MASSACRE
âHi, Iâm Daisy!â
turtleâs head is crushed by her rear left wheel
5 Likes
1 Like
Been looking forward to this one. July 23rd release for Carrion.
6 Likes
Make that one of those walking simulators (Turtles: Walking the Finishing Line), only that you are playing as a normal⢠turtle and it is inevitable that you are run over by some candy-friendly Nintendo D-Level cast member, only for your shell to be stacked for usage in a Mario Kart trailer (complete with driver branding, Daisy sounds good, yeah).
Nintendo gets the tie-in, a collectable mobile game where you have to stack shells from Turtles for your team (Turtles in Supplychain&Demand), when you get to the 250 ccm class, itâs a real massacre you need to make to get from race to race. Rainbow GP obviously is the endgame.
and the most sinister/most demanding track.
Following that, another Mobile Spinoff:
a courtroom and textbased phoenix wright-esque installment (Turtles in Court: Shellshocked), featuring Koopa vs Splinter, battling for a warcrime sentence for Koopa, since he betrayed his turtlekind to suck up to the Mariokart-racing league. Has lots of cameos (e.g. Shredder, Lakitu, Tingle, Ebisumaru and Wart) and the most surprising twist will be a hidden mobile game (in a mobile game, worldâs first!) that stars April OâNeal as a Tokimeki main protagonist (game is called April oâ Nigatsu) and when her bomb goes off, you have lost the trial since it plays out in real time.
⌠well, and thatâs it.
Thatâs the end of my Turtles Masterplan, which i will now write up, travel to japan, pitch to Konami HQ and youâll see me in japanese TV as that weird gaijin that shops around a bizarre lineup of titles that nobody wants.
3 Likes
âReverse-horrorâ is a genre we need to see more.
2 Likes
a large chunk of games are already reverse horror
youâre an unfeeling, singular killing machine plowing through crowds of expendable nobodies and you only donât think of them as such because youâre being sold on a power fantasy
but if you were on the other side of that, you would be fucking terrified
15 Likes
most games: you go through peopleâs houses and steal their stuff and sometimes kill them
7 Likes
I wanted to say they should try and make a game like that but then I remembered all the times in the past where they have and instead of the player feeling the terror they regularly inflict on NPCs they just feel like the game designer is moralizing at them.
3 Likes
As we are a bit more than a hour before Ubi Softâs not-E3 presentation, itâs probably worth mentioning that the companyâs embroiled in a huge scandal involving more than a hundred cases of sexual harassment and violence that were covered up by HR and basically made part of the company culture because they were committed by people considered to be the companyâs elite and role models. This was all seen as tolerable because the games they make sell, so who cares if people have to be harassed and physically abused on the side. So far the revelations have mostly been in french, although of course Schreierâs been working on a report for a while now.
The three top people targeted by the accusations were announced to have left their positions (although not necessarily left the company) earlier today, including Ubiâs second-in-command and best pal of Ubi boss Guillemot (who of course says he knew nothing of said best palâs habits), and theyâre hoping the whole thing will die down in time for people to be hyped for todayâs presentation and forget that a lot more people were involved.
Just a thing to keep in mind if youâre interested in their products.
9 Likes
I posted this upthread a couple days ago but if you missed it this is a translation of some of the early French coverage when the story broke:
I donât know how to hold these companies accountable other than boycotting. But that doesnât seem like it would work because large parts of the culture have inoculated themselves against feeling shame and stuff.
Maybe people should just form their own companies and make their own versions of these games or something. Like if everybody posting on message boards about these issues the world over all just pooled their resources then over time some of them probably could start companies themselves that werenât run this way and actually dealt with these problems better while still making the same games.
3 Likes
noooooo
3 Likes
Sorry I should have said âthe same or betterâ. Or just âbetterâ.
after what Devolver did yesterday, does any other show or presser really matter
i just donât think it makes sense to hope for gamers to spontaneously and independently pursue the ethical development of bajillion dollar racist military shooters as a balm for what is fundamentally a structural problem with massive scale capitalist industry that produces those games with that kind of profit-motivated, gendered disregard for its workers in the first place. itâs not (only) a problem with the company itself, and we donât need alternative companies making those games at that scale under the same economic conditions. in the meantime, comprehensive unionization in the industry would be a good start to protect vulnerable workers and regulate the conditions that enable misogynistic workplace abuse and more.
12 Likes
Watch Ubisoft acknowledge their horrific sexual harrassment allegations and make meaningful changes.
I MEAN announce some new games for us gamers!
