Random game names (Part 1)

[wourme]

@VastleCania

“What’s the result of not quitting a day job and toiling off-hours for 8 years? This hot pile of garbage! Enjoy a mishmash of random ideas that have popped in my head over the past decade, shoved into a 2D-Platforming game!”

I’m buying this.

This description has sold me as well.

[username]

One of the things I have learned over the course of this is that I think the game description section of the page often shows more creativity than the games themselves.

• Kartong - Death by Cardboard!
• Sable Maze: Forbidden Garden
• Zombie Office Politics
• Paper Shakespeare: To Date Or Not To Date?
• Ria’s Hook
• Baby’s on fire: 99 virgins
• Episicava - Vol. 1

In the rapidly growing literature-based dating sim sub-genre:

Elsinore Academy is a proving ground for princes and princesses, heirs and heiresses; where people from all over the globe come for higher learning, and the cheerleaders are literal witches.

It is months after the unfortunate events that brought shame to Castle Hamlet, and everyone is on edge. What better way to shake off the blues than to engage in a dating simulator? But soon, what starts as a simple excursion into romantic pursuits because something much more complex. Dare we say… Shakespearian?

And then there is… this:

Two brave firefighter- brothers Mahmed and Mahmoud came to the challenge. Every day routine, you live in a quiet city, in which nothing ever happens. But this time an alarm bell rings at the fire station. What is there? The hospital, maternity ward is on fire. All you can do is save all the children in this hospital. All that you know: there are 99 virgin babies there. Like real heroes, you grabbed a rescue trampoline and with it, take the children to the ambulance!

Trolling on the store front has gotten… subtler?

[username]

• Pigeons Attack
• Sarcophag
• Nightmare Pop!
• Truth Of Falchion
• Into the Ice: Nazis of Neuschwabenland
• BlueberryNOVA
• Sling Ming
• Existential Kitty Cat RPG
• Strange girl beside

This is a short (about 3-5 hour) 90s style RPG in which you goof around, but things get real too. There are over 40 maps to explore, and plenty of nifty graphics and music to appreciate.

Features:

Kitty Cats (and a few dogs, notably a swordsman dog)

Emotional Music

Three enemy weakness types: slashing, magic, and blunt.

A powerful Hero who wins through sheer will-power.

Over 40 maps to explore with hidden goodies + a world map.

Nifty is a good word.

[username]

• Find someone else
• PUKE SIMULATOR
• Hard Era: The Fantasy Defence
• Evil Dead
• Fleets of Ascendancy
• Morning Never Comes
• YEARN Tyrant’s Conquest
• The Last Hope: Atomic Bomb - Crypto War
• Nicky - The Home Alone Golf Ball
• Aliens Are Rude!
• The Adventures of Clive McMulligan on Planet Zeta Four

Have you ever wanted to puke on people but were too shy to just go for it? But now we have you “covered”. It’s time to puke on people and anywhere you please. PUKE THEM ALL!

I mean… no?

Also hey, a new Evil Dead game!

…oh. Nevermind then. Anything else this week?

The ongoing struggle between mobsters, terrorists and President John Trump has now shifted its focus towards cryptocurrency. Your mission, while not as easy as it may appear, is to locate the cryptocurrency farm and put an end to this senseless war once and for all!

Yeah, let’s just call this a week.

[LWJoestar]

Daphaknee is making games now? Huh.

[DaPieDevil]

I love the idea that people release games where the game you’re playing is Steam, for achievements, and the game you buy is actually like an enemy. Those 5,000-achievement non-games are the real-life equivalents to Criminal Caterpillars, cultivating success off providing a valuable XP bonus. Valve gamified service without locking people out of inserting their own wheels to pick up off the flow. So the distribution platform itself hosts a tournament game with its own parasitical microtransactions.

Need to make one of those “sim game dev” games incorporating this strategy, email to self, then blow up Earth and end the farce forever.

[Mikey]

@username

Find someone else

I’ve played this game on other platforms

[username]

• Organosphere
• Tetripank
• RUSSIAN PEACE DUCK : TAKE MY NALOGI
• Lobotomy Corporation | Monster Management Simulation
• Ascending Madness
• Mervin and the Wicked Station
• The Bell Chimes for Gold

Tetripank brings one of the most famous puzzle games of all time into the world of Unreal graphics! Your task is to avoid filling the game space, evenly placing the blocks at the bottom of the screen.

I think the only word to describe this is necessary.

[username]

• Mama Farm
• Suncore Chronicles: The Tower
• Pathosis
• Heckpoint
• Epic Car Factory

Thin crop today, perhaps the vast neverending flood of game releases is finally letting up.

[username]

• The Amazing Bernard
• Sci-fi Chess
• KeyBoard Guitar Master
• Hungry Fish Evolution
• Another Brick in Space
• A Penny For Some Motivation
• My Memory of Us

Chess in three-dimensional space with advanced artificial intelligence of the opponent. The main feature of the game is advanced AI, which can not be won.

I always wanted a chess game that was impossible to win. Wait, that’s every chess game I’ve ever played.

You don’t need a guitar controller , there will be much more fun if you try to hold the keyboard as holding a real guitar when you’re playing.

I approve of this message.

A Penny For Some Motivation costs 99 cents BTW. Now I feel much less motivated.

[username]

• The Wastes
• Overchunked
• Dead In Vinland
• Fajoce
• Vee Rethak - Deep Under The Mountain
• Magical Star Pillars

Overchunked is a fast, addictive game about a giant circular saw constantly moving forward and splitting stuff. The perfect distraction to relax while grinding your way towards your best score.

I mean, when I think of relaxing I picture a giant circular saw mowing down everything in its path.

[shrug]

same

[username]

• ShineG Has Nightmares
• Revival of the Road: Astrakhan
• Quanect
• Eredia: The Diary of Heroes
• Grandpa
• Kollidoskop!
• HYKEE - Episode 1: Underwater
• Marie’s Room
• SPAGHET
• Who’s in the Box?
• Glory of the Self-Styled Diehard girl

Got a nice variety today. Got a chance to explore a random russian city:

The first Russian game project with a real city - Astrakhan . Always dreamed of going to their native places right in the game? To run, to jump - to drive, to drive? Well … Welcome! - You have an exact copy of the city!

(FWIW I always liked the notion of indie games built around recreating local areas.)

We’ve got that dual reality gimmick from that Dishonored 2 stage repurposed for a Portal-like:

We have a game that I feel is very close to being about elder abuse:

Grandpa caught you and locked you in your home.
You have to escape from the house!
You have to solve the puzzles inside the house!
…
If you find syringes. Stick it in the grandpa and neutralize it. Certainly the effect will pass after a while.

Also… if you have an elderly family member around perhaps don’t put up a laser grid?

Also a japanese visual novel about gender issues that surely won’t go poorly:

Kaoru aim to be a manly man. But incidentally, he became a woman, which is the type all guys dream! Kaoru Felt so discouraged for what happened. But he tasted the joy of being a woman under the guidance of his friends gradually. To see how Kaoru accept himself slowly……

And finally we have this apparently oil soaked piece of lumber:

https://steamcdn-a.akamaihd.net/steam/apps/823670/extras/FireGif.png(image larger than 19.5 MB)

[r-i]

if there was any good in this world this would be some hardcore trans anime shooter (…or a sukeban Yakuza clone) instead of generic TF VN fetishnonsense

…game jam concept: mash together these shovelware names together as prompts. I’m reserving Ascent of the Diehard Nightmare Bitch: Heckpoint.

[username]

• Final Cut: The True Escapade
• What Are You Stupid
• Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of DANA
• Cubicorner
• Last Anime Boy 2: Hentai Zombie Hell
• Horror Fish Simulator
• OutOfColors
• Debugger 3.16: Hack’n’Run
• HAUNTED: Halloween '86 (The Curse Of Possum Hollow)
• Achievement Idler: Black
• Hiveswap Friendsim

In 2088, Nazi Muslims achieved great success in the field of chemical weapons and, not to fall into captivity and fight even after death with the infidels, they created a serum that turned them into zombies.

Checks out to me.

The most epic fishing simulator with horror themed levels, music and zombie character! Those are only horror stuff in this game
You are wounded and lonely zombie who’s only job is to catch físh, so you don’t die of hunger.

Also checks out.

Achievement Idler: Black is an Achievement spam “game” that you start up to idle in the background and get the achievements.

This is the most honest game description yet. Let’s see how the reviewers are taking it:

You see the the pictures in the game preview? That’s literally the entire game. You open it up, you get an achievement every 2 seconds, The counter ticks down from 5000. It’s literally a black screen with “5000 Achievements Remaining” ticking down. There isn’t anything else to the game. Steam is literally selling achievements at this point.

Another satisified customer!

(And hey, that Ys game finally got released on PC.)

[username]

• Game of the forgotten Gods. Wake up
• Try to seize me
• Dr. Pills
• Mortal Squad: Portal to Hell
• Don’t Pray To Satan

Don’t Pray To Satan is an unforgiving city simulator/strategy game, where you must monitor and prevent your city’s inhabitants from praying to Satan and bringing about the end of days.

I feel like this might be an actual party platform in certain areas of the country.

[LWJoestar]

I’m very disappointed that Don’t Pray to Satan isn’t along the lines of Don’t Move and Don’t Shit Your Pants

[VastleCania]

@username

HAUNTED: Halloween '86 (The Curse Of Possum Hollow)

This is absolutely the video gamest thing I’ve ever read. First word is all caps; that’s not a book or a movie. Then we’ve got a colon, then a meaningless subtitle. Now for the piece de resistance: a parenthetical addition that, again, means nothing.

I love it

[username]

• The Spatials: Galactology
• Supposedly Wonderful Future
• Geeste
• Unknown Pain: Hardcore
• Zima uhodi!
• Cheerleader: reverse side of life
• Baptize Billy

The murderer of a psychopath miraculously clamped power in the country and fun begins, all are private and live very richly, except for you, your young man is brutally murdered before your very eyes. No one else kills, but this psychopath is a murderer.

Under such circumstances, you will not have fun.

Courts do not work, the police do not work, no one works, because the country has a base income of $ 2,000,000,000. No one will help you, because you decide to take everything into your own hands and take revenge!

An infinite number of opponents will make you a very hardcore and cheerful company for a couple of hours.

Walk around the city that wants your death, build genocide on the roofs of skyscrapers, catch up with the cart on a very powerful machine with machine guns and finally reach your goal.

Features:

• Infinitely the number of enemies
• A man who sounds an antagonist is an absolute not a professional with a Russian accent
• 3 types of weapons, ranging from a submachine gun to a machine gun
• The main character of gay huge size (in the game it does not help you in any way)
• Awesome endless action
• Compete against comrades who killed more Nazis, the result will be visible to all players on the Leaderboard.

I know, I meant to cut down on C&Ping descriptions that are poorly translated by people (almost always Russian) with a poor grasp of english, but I keep re-reading this one. I have a hard time telling if it is just a Hatred-esque “killing people is cool” game, a weird shout of frustration at finding themselves in a world that feels rigged against them, the rambling of a legit unwell person, or some other scenario. Also kinda want to know what “gay huge size” entails.

[shrug]

select button
The main character of gay huge size

imo