Random game names (Part 1)

[shrug]

After enjoying the digitized Lone Wolf books I tried out some more INTERACTIVE FICCIONES for the telephone and found that even the highly rated ones do not ascend to the “readable prose” level.

[shrug]

Joe Dever’s “everything I ever needed to know I learned from ACE reprints of Conan” style is fucking masterful compared to the work on display in an app store near you

[Father.Torque]

Holy crap there are phone versions of the Lone Wolf books???

[username]

• H.I.S.T.O.R.Y T.O.R.C.H.K.A 2
• Lifo Harvester (EP)
• The Greenskins
• Tropical Liquor
• Melancholy Republic
• Suicideville
• Trenchfoot
• Get Dis Money

Lifo Harvester is a mistery puzzle game where you stack blocks on your head.

Please spellcheck your game descriptions.

This is a casual game about Suicideville - where people dying every minute

You play as a little girl who loves anime and believe in shiny future of Suicideville where people would be happy to live!

Show them how strong you believe in it!

• Collect letters to make beautiful words
• Save as much lives as you can
• Make Suicideville great again!

I sometimes worry that these games are cries for help that I just mock.

[VastleCania]

@username

Keep in Mind: Remastered

I love these games that mix relatively normal sounding words (Keep in Mind could be a radiohead album or something) and then tack on very videogamey shit. The game looks boring as hell but the title is very My Aesthetic.

[sponkmonkey]

Sounds like another Ghost_RUS joint

[username]

• Swarmlake
• Professor Lupo and his Horrible Pets
• Picrastination
• Zombie Murder
• Good Morning
• Oedipus Dating Sim
• Tidy Your Room Simulator
• Nothing to God
• Attack of the Gigant Zombie vs Unity chan
• Epic Snowday Adventure

Good Morning is an open world sandbox game. Explore the world. Get a job. Grab a cup of coffee. Rob a bank. Rise to political power. Sell some drugs. Join a gang. Unleash hell fire upon the world. Or maybe go on an afternoon stroll through the park. The Choice is yours!

Normally this would be the best description of the day, but…

“Thousands of years ago, lived a man named Oedipus, king of Thebes and slayer of The Sphinx.A man whose fate was to kill his father, Laius, and then marry his own mother, Jocasta.
But what if he could have gamed the system and cheated his own fate?”

With the generous help of three fates and Dionysus, the Olympian god with his own TV show, your task is to find a date for Oedipus. But it won’t be as straightforward as it seems. At first, you won’t know their true identities. Once you romance each character to a certain level, their true identity will be revealed to you. After that, you must avoid pairing Oedipus with Jocasta. A piece of cake, right? Well, other complications will certainly arise and maybe, with a little ingenuity, you can even end up with Jocasta and not be punished for it. But how?

Yeah, I think this is my jam.

[Bee]

Oh my gosh

[Hojulas]

Oedipus game sounds almost like the premise of one of the goofier Hercules/Xena episodes.

[username]

Sadly nothing as interesting today.

• Robo Encryption Zup
• Duder
• If you know what I mean
• Miniballist
• They Are Hundreds
• FARIA: Spiritbird
• FLYVALNY 20!8

They Are Hundreds made me chuckle.

[username]

• Ukhar
• Grim Facade: A Wealth of Betrayal Collector’s Edition
• Robo Boop
• Breach of Contract Reloaded
• Essence of Illumination: The Beginning
• CRAZY BIGHEADS
• Girl X Mushrooms
• Sounds of Verity
• Clawface
• The Raven Remastered

I don’t even know what Girl x Mushrooms would…

http://cdn.akamai.steamstatic.com/steam/apps/796620/extras/%E7%9E%AC%E5%87%BB%E6%9E%81%E5%85%89%E6%96%A9.jpg(image larger than 19.5 MB)

…okay that makes sense then.

Breach of Contract Reloaded is a new innovative First-Person Shooter Online Game. Compete with players all over the world. Battle against players in multiple terrains from outdoor environments to the indoors. Epic battles from 4-10 player matches allowing absolute chaos. With so many players to kill and GP to earn to purchase new weapons for battle what are you waiting for? Put endless amounts of time into the game.

I have been grossly misinformed as to what breaching a contract entails.

From Roboboop

Four gameplay modes: Casual (no timer), Challenge (beat the clock for a number of rounds), Sisyphean (a game that lasts forever and ever), and Buried Alive (a single round with a hundred boxes all at once).

Best game mode name ever?

[Bee]

I forget who was talking about gamey terms as subtitles to normal things, but Breach of Contract: Reloaded is really getting me

[username]

• Squeakers
• Fimbul
• Bitcoin VS Brain
• Super Inefficient Golf
• The Way of Life: DEFINITIVE EDITION
• Sol705
• Internet Simulator
• #RunningSnake
• GameDevDan vs Life
• Pottery Maker
• Pig Eat Ball
• Guts and Syringes

I included Squeakers just because of the header, which made me angry.

We then descend into the Russian gaming ghetto, although it appears one of these three might not actually be Russian. It also might have the most vexing description; I’m not gonna mark which it is.

Bitcoin VS Brain

In this game you have to shoot in the brain with a cannon-bitcoin, you can hold out as long as possible, various bonuses will help you !!!

Features:

• Casual Game

• Survival

• Childcore

• Achievements

• Good graphics and music

Childcore is my favorite musical genre.

Internet Simulator

Description of the game at the moment:

-Ability to browse the internet via a virtual computer
-OS on the computer with mail and gallery, PC can be turned off via a button within the OS interface
-Comments when you visit certain web-sites
-2 Levels to choose from (much more to come)
-Interactivity and a feature of the level “Room” - you can turn on and off the lights, turn off the computer through the PC case, and you can also kill the character forcing him to jump out the window.
-Interactive objects that can be moved
-Ability to walk, run, sit on a chair
-Steam Achievements
Experimental:
-Ability to pray to Putin and get money for that (Tab to pray, E to stop praying)
-Ability to buy furniture for that money in online store
-Ability to call dancers

Press E to stop praying.

Guts and Syringes

The game has no story. Developer decided that it distracts you from the gameplay.

Take control of a mutated heart, generating bleeding venous distention, in which you can poke the syringes. Clear your way from the filth, on the way to a world free from propaganda.

The game allows you to freely accelerate (middle mouse button)
50 basic levels
4 Bosses
20 additional levels with bonus games
More than 30 kinds of warring characters
7 syringes combinable as you like
This game is not a “strategy” genre, there are no timings (almost)
This game is not a mobile port

[username]

Final list of the week:

• Zombie Murder Hell Arrives
• Balloon guy
• Kinese
• Galimulator
• Mermaid Land
• So Long Grandma

Grandma, with only 7 days of life remaining, has but one dying wish yet to be crossed from her bucket list. She wants to witness firsthand the majesty and beauty of the ocean. Unfortunately grandma is currently drowning in a sea of medical expenses that have left her with empty pockets and a shattered dream. How far would you go to help grandma?

What a sweet concept for a game, I wonder how they realize it?

Would you toss her from the roof of a 6-story apartment building into oncoming traffic? The answer is “YES YOU WILL!” There is an abundance of cash free for the taking, but requires you to take this extreme measure to bank it. She sure is a tough old bird.

For you Nana I will!

[VastleCania]

I laughed out loud at this one

[eska]

i have free will to do what i want but i choose to accelerate (middle mouse button)

[username]

• Go Guess
• Eternal Man: Village
• Elevator Ritual
• Crazzers
• Colorzzle
• The Rain Spirit : Code Breaker
• Brazilian Root®

This is the story of Charles’s village.

He was once an ordinary man, with a simple life and simpler goals. Now, the curse upon his village is the only life he knows. He is a hollow man, and his only goal is to save his village, avoiding one cursed villager at a time. Society demands it, and what kind of man would he if he did not serve the common good?

Sometimes I wonder who these games are for, like what drives these people to make these games…

Features
5,000 unlockable achievements
Lowest price possible
Guarantee that achievements will work
Future trading cards

…And sometimes I really wonder who these games are for, like what drives these people to make these games.

[VastleCania]

@username

5,000 unlockable achievements

This is incredible. What does this do within the steam ecosystem? There must be a reason to try and get multitudes of achievements. The number of achievements you have doesn’t show on your profile, and there is no way in steam to even track the number of achievements you have!! The coolest thing you can do is display an achievement on your profile, but that’s more about rarity, not bulk.

There is this site though:

TrueSteamAchievements - Steam Achievement Tracking

Looks like the top number of achievements anyone has is 731,921, so 5,000 achievements would be a big boost to getting you on the leaderboard.

Also that’s fucking absurd, jesus christ, games are bad, destroy games

[boojiboy7]

A friend of mine has told me about her first husband, who was obsessive about his gamerscore and would not play a game if it would be too difficult to get 1000 on.

This is so foreign to how I play games.

[Bee]

The only good part of achievements is seeing what percentage of players beat the game. I was impressed to see The Evil Within 2’s was around 60%