pro wrasslin'


#162

so was the strategy to just put the undertaker in such an embarrassingly bad match that he felt like he had to retire finally

edit: whoa the lesnar and goldberg match was even worse this is nuts


#163

Stuff from RAW:

Kurt Angle is new GM
The Revival showed up and kicked the shit out of The New Day
Finn Balor returned

Draft next week


#164

While NXT will miss the revival (their match from Saturday was some fun stuff), glad those dudes got the call up.


#165

Some cool stuff happening on Smackdown tonight so far


#166

I believe you mean the ““SUPERSTAR SHAKE-UP””


#167

Currently unable to sleep in a capsule hotel. Kinda excited about graps.

Rushed straight from the airport to Korakuen. Managed to get decent seats to the NEW Inoki Genome Federation show. I had to see Yoshiaki Fujiwara live before I died…and it happened. Told myself I wouldn’t buy anything on this trip but for 2,000 yen you got a photo book, a handshake, an autograph, and a photo with Fujiwara…so I had to do that.

I’d post the photo but I look too bottom heavy cuz I had to bend down cuz Fujiwara wasn’t getting up, and I’m smiling like a goof cuz I was so excited to meet that cool dude. I kept smiling long after. He’s pushing 70 and he still has this bad ass aura. That face!!

He went to a time limit draw against Shinya Aoki. Then Minoru Tanaka went to a time limit draw against Minowa Man. That’s two draws on a 6 match card. That’s something. No running the ropes in Fujiwara’s match. That’s how you know it’s real.

I loved BattlARTS back in the day cuz I loved Alexander Otsuka. He is still around. He’s still the Diet Butcher.

The creator of Kinnikuman’s son wrestled too. It’s a weird world.

Josh Barnett beat some other big boy in the main. It was fun and sloppy in a way you don’t see nowadays. Reminiscent of an old fashioned beefy match, not graceful in the least. No intermission, show barely hit 2 hours, and that’s fine with me cuz I was nodding off during Tanaka’s match. Barely slept!!

OK show to watch live, nothing you need to watch “on tape”. Unless you speak Japanese and the mics picked up the 6 year olds in my section who were REALLY into the show and did running commentary, cracking everyone else up. Wrestling is way more fun with kids present…even if they rooted for Aoki over Fujiwara.

Unless plans radically change I’m seeing the Sendai Girls show tonight. That means Aja King and Meiko Satomura…that means I will probably never need to go anywhere ever again, because I’ll have “seen it all”.


#168

Fujiwara is a god. Pro-wrestling great, shoot-style pioneer, armbar inventor, actor and pornography performer!
If you’re still in Tokyo on the 16th, go see the Champion Carnival opening for me.


#169

God I wish I could. I leave on the 11th. AJPW is pretty fun now and that makes me very happy.


#170

OK here are the official HOBO/Stan Hansen pro-graps rankings for April 201x:

1: Chihiro Hashimoto vs Aja Kong. This was some magical shit, like I traveled back in time and was able to watch Dump Matusmoto vs Chigusa Nagayo. I mean, it wasn’t nearly as intense, but I wasnt there in the 80’s. I was there in the 1x’s, and i saw all these ladies and mens just losing their fucking shit for Chihiro, praying for her to win. Aja Kong is one of the most beautiful people on this planet and I’m 120% burning fest blessed to have seen her live before I die. She did not do autographs for photos as far as I could tell. She must be dedicated to her gimmick. She must be fucking amazing cuz she’s…I dunno how old, but she had the biggest “star aura” of anyone I’ve ever seen live. Just fucking off the charts amazing.

2: The opening match at the 4/8 DDT show. I bought a standing room ticket to that show…I think? Some lady came running over to me after I spent 20 minutes standing around wondering “where do I sit?” so she asked some muscle dude half my size and he didn’t fuckin’ help me any. So I stood in a corner and hoped “no one will ever notice me”,. But they kept doing photo ops in that corner, so if you don’t hear from me ever again it’s cuz my shameful self endedup in Weekly Baseball or Gong or what the fuck ever and I went to live in a cave for the rest of my life out of shame.

The rest of the DDT show was fine. The comedy stuff is better than the straight wrestling stuff.I love comedy wrestling. I’m garbage.

3: Sitting with some kids at Sumo Hall for the first half of Sakura Genesis. During intermission their dad asked “Is it over?” And I told him “no, this ususally runs like 3-4 hours.” So that family left and never came back.
i felt for those kids, cuz boy they really loved wrestling and their dad’s a shithead…but i also salute dad for doing the most dad thing, cuz it left me a booth all to myself. I spent the first half of the show with my legs falling asleep! It sucked! Second half an estonian dude climbed into my booth, and I spent a lotta time talking about graps with him and shouting shit real loud and I bet everyone hates sitting next to me at a pro-wrestling show but fuck it, pro-wrestling of sports and someone has to shout shit that shows i the proper respect, like “KILL HIM, SHIBATA!!!” and “BREAK HIS FUCKING NECK!!!” I’m a bad boy, like the baddest pro-wrestlers, and you will never hear me chant “this is awesome” but you will hear me scream for one dude to cripple another dude. No fucking mercy.

Anyway I wrote these 4,000 words so I could say these two words: Fuck Okada. I was rooting for him despite not being the biggest fan, but Shibata won me and 90% of that crowd over. These “slip on a banana peel and hit a rainmaker and win” finishes are fucking lame. Do at least 2 minutes of offense prior to that, ok. Don’t give away 95% of the match. Kick some fucking ass.

I think I can avoid ever going to Japan again cuz I think I’ve seen nearly every pro-wrestler I’ve ever loved who’s still active…though I’d like to see the BJW boys again. BJW is awesome.

And if Bryan ever comes back, and God, I hope that never happens…it should be in Mexico, against Blue Panther, and it should happen when I’m super rich so I can bring everyone who isn’t Mexican to Mexico so we can see that shit live.

EDIT: very proud to have made the 169th post in this thread so I’m just gonna say if that last Rush vs LA PARK match happened in April it’s #2.

Also Naito is the #1 wrestler in the world and I’ve always been aboard the juice Robinson train. He’s a big strong boy and I root for him every time. We’re at least the same height – keep that in mind next time you watch that buff boy wrestle. Think “I know a guy online who’s at least as tall…that’s so awesome.” Cuz it is.


#171

lol just about

the end of the match had me like :angry:


#172

So Mauro Ranallo is gone from WWE, apparently due to some harsh bullying by John Bradshaw Layfield, who is apparently a real POS. Ranallo has a history of dealing with depression and bipolar disorder, and couldn’t take the environment. I’m real sad about this. WWE really disgusts me sometimes, beyond just the consistently awful booking


#173

i think blaming it on “the environment” is letting bradshaw off the hook, when it’s totally down to him, and he has a long history of bullying people he sees as beneath him. he is a total piece of shit

but i guess the fact that the wwe has its own stupid insular world is what allows him to keep doing it, instead of going to jail for the stuff he’s done in the past is also to blame.


#174

Seriously, fuck JBL in all of this. That guy is a shithead.


#175

Shibata gotta cut it out with those headbutts. They’re so gross…though the one in that NOAH vs NJ Dads match…that one was almost ok.

JBL is Vince’s mouthpiece and there’s no way that bullying isn’t officially sanctioned. That story that just came out about stealing…Justin Roberts’? Is that a person? Whatever his name is, JBL stole his passport and Vince clearly thought that was hilarious.

This story deserves way more coverage than it’s getting, but since it’s pro-wrestling it’s flying under the radar. It’s insane how much shit they get away with because of that. Lookit how long it took for DeMott to finally get fired.


#176

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s7JUdIq3jY
Samoa Joe is very good at Nidhogg and prefers FF6 to FF7. He also talks about how AJ Styles got really mad once because he couldn’t beat Samoa Joe at Tekken.


#177

Also, JBL sounds like a real piece of shit. Covering up bullying by using the “Wrestlers Court” excuse, what an asshole.


#178

did you see the dust-up on Twitter between Meltzer & Jonathan Coachman? Meltzer pretty much just exposing the pure hypocrisy of the WWE/ESPN deal as kayfabe. Coachman says “we don’t report on rumors,” etc.

basically Meltzer continuing to demonstrate that he is the only legitimate journalist covering pro wrestling. Love him even more now.


#179

I did! I love Big Dave so much. He has his blindspots but he’s a better journalist than 99% of the people covering real deal life and death shit. Which is fucking depressing. But I do think spending most of my life reading the Observer has taught me a great deal about how the world works, even if it has done irreparable damage to my grammar.

I liked Xavier Woods a lot until I saw him fight Kenny Omega in SFV and I realized he was the personification of the mythical “fake gamer girl”. Dude fuckin sucked, and I can say that cuz I also played Birdie badly. I know I’d beat Kenny in SFV and my #2 biggest regret in life is not challenging him to a Street Fight when he was hanging outside the Tokyo Dome Starbucks. I know I woulda creamed him. I know…!

Samoa Joe is legit though. I wouldn’t wanna fight Joe in SF. He might fuck me up.


#180

wwe coverage on espn is paid advertising

there were “we want mauro” and “fire bradshaw” chants at smackdown, and a guy got kicked out for holding up a “jbl bullied me” sign. this thing might not be going away as quickly as wwe hoped. i guess they should have backed the likable talented guy rather than the awful rapist hick.


#181

Southpaw Regional Wrestling is back for another season. I still have to watch it but I am hopeful.