incredibly complex “romance” system involving ruto, malon, saria, and some new gerudo, goron, and deku characters.
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every textbox replaced by three textboxes
main thing i like in oot is the sense that they werent actually sure if what they had worked or hung together at all, and a feeling like they ended up trying to cover any potential cracks by trying to shove some little distracting extra touch in wherever they could, like another bit of weird vertex lighting or reflective texture, fire effect, water curtain shimmer, the aquarium full of blurry lo-res fish skeletons just pulled from some cdrom texture pack back when they still did this. so bascally the #1 thing they should do is replace everything like that with the most bleakly consistent designed-for-the-artbook unreal ass asset pipeline imaginable
romanceable biggoron if you beat the postman in the race
if you fail the race you can’t date biggoron but medigoron will send you navi messages bugging you to come hang out like the cousin does in whatever gta that is
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i have long made my peace with Ocarina of Time and appreciate it now as Nintendo EAD’s attempt to create as much of a Fantasy Epic as was possible on the Nintendo 64. as piddly as Hyrule Field or as misguided as the flashy unskippable cutscenes about Triforce lore seem now, they were part of an earnest effort to make this game feel big and impressive. it’s quaint and i like it that way; it’s also a vision of Zelda thats been like fully obviated. Like how the hell are you gonna follow the Breath/Tears duology and its world with a dolled-up version of 1998’s Hyrule? and why??
i mean i know why it’s because it’s the most overrated game of all time and gamers of a certain age (mine) adore it and want it again with a new coat of paint. i guess im saying i think a lot more of the appeal is in the old coat of paint than these gamers think
also, since ive been playing it (hence why i invoked it earlier) i want to note that Twilight Princess kinda was Nintendo doing the “hire this man” version of Ocarina years before as it was their way of trying to soothe gamers who raged about Wind Waker because it looked like a beautiful cartoon instead of a licensed Jackson Lord of the Rings game. (im pleased to say it’s a lot weirder and less fanservicey than that so far though)
anyway i think the remake should use lock-on technology so you can play as Knuckles
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Still no Spanish translation, ship the game with a book with the full English script like they did with the original in Spain.
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Link should always be rolling by default and you should have to hold a button to make him stop
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yeah i’ve posted about this before but i think more than anything else Ocarina of Time has a “we’re unsure if any of this is going to work at all, or if we’re going to even be able to continue to do our thing anymore” feeling to it that permeates it. i don’t think people remember just how traumatic the change from 2D to 3D was across the industry and i think there’s a sense of melancholy that comes from that… like the old world is suddenly dead and we don’t know if we’re going to be able to hack it in this new world. let’s just try to put everything we can into it and hope it will work out.
as far as the topic goes… years ago i tried to sequence a new version of Radiohead’s Amnesiac called “Kid B” that put in a lot of of the b-sides that were left out, because Amnesiac always felt really messy and not exactly a faithful follow-up to the mood of Kid A. i think the sequence i had was pretty good, but in hindsight it also completely missed the point. i think i realized that the messiness was the point, and Amnesiac might actually be my favorite Radiohead album. there’s a specific kind of anxious feeling it captures that i don’t think anything else they have has done as successfully. so you take away the uncertainty, the anxiety, the hysteria of that created Ocarina of Time in its specific time and place and it just doesn’t make sense as a thing anymore.
that’s why i’ve always been annoyed how much people about games as machines or programs to be optimized, and not more like you would talk about an album or movie - as a product of a very specific time and place. because as much as Nintendo tries to make things that have general broad appeal across specific time and place, Ocarina of Time just does not make sense outside of that context.
so Nintendo, don’t hire me… unless you want to hear the horrible truth.
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great thread title
more fishing. water temple fishing
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I want to fish in every body of water. if i throw my rod at a teacup there should be a tea fish and it should be almost impossible to catch and worth 5 rupees. But it goes in the fish book and thats what matters.
I think OOT is a perfect mess created by accident and no attempt to improve it can suceed. The master quest is the only official “improved” OOT now and likely forever.
I dont think nintinny has the scrote to do anything but a slavish re-tread but id love to see an FF7r style over-wrought ultra-mess.
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I’ve decided that being endlessly disappointed by modern day Nintendo has become too depressing… so instead I’ve chosen to become perversely excited by the thought of how far they could push this thing to its most tasteless extreme in the unlikely hope that they might finally alienate their massive customer base beyond repair.
Like, go ahead and bring old N64 texture practices kicking and screaming into the next generation, let’s plaster all the redeads with hi-res scans of actual bog bodies! What’s the use in embracing all the excesses of wider industry practice, if you aren’t gonna then innovate alongside it, y’know? What ever happened to that good ol’ blue ocean strategy, huh?? Where’s my entirely arbitrary hardware peripheral??? Gimme my Nintendo SMELL-O-VISION! Make me empty my own belly the moment I enter Jabu Jabu’s!! LET’S SEE SOME REAL GUTS FOR ONCE!!!
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finally deliver on the implied spectrum of goron size by adding a minigoron, microgoron, nanogoron etc who are all kind of hidden in vents and things like the cheeses in perfect dark. if you manage to look directly at them with the camera navi does the “uhoh!” noise and if you collect them all you get the “hold me closer / tiny goron” achievement and get to carry pocketgoron around in your inventory. you can use the c button to bring him out and hear his reactions and observations about things. 95% of the reactions are the same stock text every time like “i’m smaller than a mouse, goron” or “look how small i am, goron” but in certain rooms he’ll instead say things like “there’s a dark history in this room, goron…”
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nintendo reveal original plan was that link would be also be voiced by dana gould and deliver humorous contemporary quips in case people weren’t buying the whole fantasy thing. 500 original lines were recorded and pulled at the last minute due to cartridge space. miyamoto reportedly fought hard to keep the feature, saying “at last we’ve found the soul of link”, and pushed for the 64DD’s development partly as a way to get the canned lines back in there through a special disk. when those plans fell through he became unimaginably bitter and started saying things like “i turn my back on games.. i become dark miyamoto” (source: shmuplations dot com). it was about this time that he apparently started showing up at the office in a sports jacket with the collar turned up smoking a big cigar and saying let’s just do what we did last time.. gamers dont deserve more… also add more textboxes. yes, ha ha ha - more! every time you open a chest!! he was also said to be accompanied by a cackling, salacious crumb esque creature spurring him on to greater heights of evil. nintendo development staff confirm that “the good miyamoto may be trapped in there, somewhere..” and hope that hearing link say “now i know why they call her scary spice… do NAHHT go IN THERE!!” on entering the deku tree for the first time will bring back his childhood sense of joy and wonder, “much like in ratatouille”. ratatouille is also in the game and will make sounds like “huah! yippee!” when you push the stick on controller 2.
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This will be the first game in a trilogy. The first entry is 60 hours of Kokiri village drama and Link training up. Ganondorf shows up in the first 2 hours for no reason. Hyrule field is teased in a post credits CG cutscene.
Eventually the trilogy is revealed to be yet another alternate timeline where Ganondorf tries to alter the past
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- in lieu of the rumble pack, stones of agony now deliver a brief but powerful electric shock
- link ages in real time, master sword to become adult is optional
- face cam support, usable only in new Face Dungeon
- 500 korok seeds to find in Hyrule field
- pvp area added to lon lon ranch
- cave that takes you to majoras mask (one way)
- navi is helpfully connected to chatgpt
- epona upgraded to a motorcycle (epic)
these are free Nintendo….. if u want more… get in touch…
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Will probably be a good game but unnecessary.
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Link must manually sheathe his sword to climb or talk to NPCs, you can jump with the sword equipped but you may lose half a heart
to sheathe the sword, you must put the controller in your pocket
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If you draw your s**rd in town the chickens will unalive you
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If you don’t do this very carefully you can get “sword leg” where movement speed is reduced by 3/4 until you get it taken care of.
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You can only get rupees by scanning certain amiibo. Each amiibo can only be scanned once per day.
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glory holes, and every time you pass by one you get pop up text like when you open a chest
you found a Glory Hole! This is a place the royal family seeks pleasure with eachother. The darkness beckons…
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Drinking an entire bottle of Lon Lon Milk has a chance to give Link crippling diarrhea, forcing him to walk in tiny steps with half a heart until he makes it to a designated Shitting Zone. The game instructs you to remove the joycons and hold them criss crossed across your stomach until it’s over.
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I’ve always thought that once you feel comfortable with something you sometimes tend to impose your will on it and make it what you think it should be, vs approaching it on its own terms and reacting to whatever demands it seems to have as they appear. A lot of things in OoT just work or at least evoke a reaction in a way they don’t in the later 3D Zeldas and that might’ve been a result of the devs letting the game tell them what to do as it materialized vs making the proper Zelda game of that generation
Sometimes people are amazed at how the first instance of something gets everything right on the first try, but to me it’s like that’s why it works. Because you’re honestly letting this thing form without preconceptions of how it’s supposed to look
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