The signs were there a month ago when Nintendo showcased Star Fox 64 HD Remix, but now it’s abundantly clear that Nintendo is in its Hire This Man Era. You may balk at the artistic choices at work here, like turning Link into a photorealistic elf-manchild in a burlap sack, but I think the fact that Big N’s going on this hiring spree during this time of rampant industry layoffs and general economic stagnation really goes to show how they’re the kindest and most ethicalest major platform holder out there.
With that in mind, please post your most bestest ideas for this remake so that Nintendo will hire you and give you the money you deserve.
I’ll start:
Add Mouse Controls: Give Link a charm or mask that lets him turn into a mouse you can control.
Navi should look exactly like the great fairies, except really tiny.
Split the game into three parts: one for just Kokiri Forest (ending with a wide shot panning over the expanse of Hyrule Field), one for the rest of the child Link arc, and one for adult Link.
Properly canonize the “fallen hero” timeline by adding an extra time period to the game as DLC. In an attempt to salvage the kingdom he failed to save, Link should travel 14 more years into the future where he’s an aging and decrepit 30-something.
every time you die, the game resets you to an earlier part of the game. keep doing it, and you can access the hidden track that exists before the start of the game
I liked Ocarina of Time when it came out but I was 11 turning 12 and I have no interest in revisiting the game. I had my fun but don’t want to go back and ruin any nostalgia I might have at the age of 39.
Bottom of the well and shadow temple are going to have bright rainbow Banjo Kazooie Halloween level style vibes, and ReDeads are going to be all “ooOOOogily boOoooogily”
(i dont remember “you have to lock in” being in the original lol i think one of the recomp devs mightve thrown that in)
Ummm in the remake Kaepora Gaebora’s dialogue will be both fully voiced and unskippable and he’ll still do the thing where his “should I repeat myself?” prompt is switched so he repeats himself if you mash the B button. also there will be some easter egg that kinda confirms he’s Rauru in wildshape but not really so a bunch of ”lore” youtubers can make annoying videos about it
In this dark and gritty DLC, Link will be voiced by Troy Baker and have a bratty teenage child who he has a poor relationship with. Nintendo will specifically market it as “Dad-core”
Water temple is finally removed and replaced by a 5 minutes long straight line in silence
Option to ignore Navi at the beginning of the game and play without her, but this secretly puts you on the path to a bad ending where Ganondorf kills you when you retrieve the master sword. You have to restart the game
There are two Z-targeting options: either aim at an enemy with gyro and press R2, or simply press L3
After beating the game the transitions into the beginning of the majoras mask as THE REAL OCARINA OF TIME STARTS HERE in 64pt Pinnacle JY as you play both games back to back. This will not be mentioned in any of the promotional material.
A new type of enemy you need to hunt but that only appears a year after the game has first been played
Even more lock-and-key progression. Every rupee has a specific purpose to be used in the game. the player cannot progress more than 10 feet at a time without the correct item.
