time for me to review EVERY GAME ON THIS LIST
1080° snowboarding: still the best snowboarding game ssx is whatever ok fuck off
battletanx: global assault: the fuck is this
beetle adventure racing: basically a better version of Cruisin’ Whatever with cuteness instead of a failed outrun vibe
blast corps: dump truck hell yeah. if you called this the best n64 game I’d be ok with that
body harvest: played for 30 minutes. so wierd that I will never forget those 30 minutes. I feel like kenji eno secretly worked on this game
buck bumble: the fuck is this
doom 64: doom with fancy particle effects I think
excitebike 64: I don’t think I ever knew this existed
f-zero x: obviously awesome
goldeneye 007: 1v1 me scrub
harvest moon 64: seems like the right system for harvest moon?
hexen: no
hybrid heaven: I think this was a 3rd person shooter I don’t remember
jet force gemini: never played it, sadly
killer instinct gold: c-c-c-c-c ok KI sucks sorry
kirby 64: the crystal shards: quintessential kirby: fun ideas, so easy and loose that I lost interest quickly
legend of zelda: majora’s mask, the: the one zelda game I regret not spending more time with
mario golf: almost as good as hot shot golf
mario tennis: the best mario sports game
mario party 2: They Took Out The Games Where You Grind The Stick On Your Palm
mario party 3: don’t remember anything about this one
mega man 64: buy a PS1
mickey’s speedway usa: what is this
mischief makers: the most underrated treasure game except maybe dynamite heady whatever I love both of those games
new tetris, the: didn’t this one take place on a sphere or something
orge battle 64: person of lordly caliber: fuck yeah. like every ogre battle game I never beat it, but whatever
paper mario: never played it
perfect dark: sure wish the frame rate ever went above 10 fps
pilotwings 64: I feel happy when I remember this game
pokémon puzzle league: idk
pokémon snap: why isn’t there a sequel to this game
pokémon stadium 2: I remember being confused about what this game actually was. the years have not alleviated this problem
rocket: robot on wheels: what is this
rush 2: extreme racing usa: probably a cruisin’ rip off
san francisco rush 2049: still cruisin’
snowboard kids: after 1080 and COOLBOARDERS snowboard games became A Thing for a while and this one was so much better than it had any right to be
snowboard kids 2: did not play
space station silicon valley: this game looked cool
super mario 64: it’s, you know, mario 64
super smash bros.: I mean, I basically played this game every day for three years
star wars: episode i: battle for naboo: isn’t this the rogue squardron reskin
star wars episode i: racer: yeah it was a pretty decent f-zero rip off
star wars: rogue squadron: everyone loved this game lets be real
star wars: shadows of the empire: ok this game was actually just bad. had some entertaining bugs though
turok: dinosaur hunter: NUKE THE DINOS
turok 2: seeds of evil: CEREBRAL BORE
wave race 64: still the most fun and fluid water physics in a video game
wayne gretzky’s 3d hockey '98: ehhh I really didn’t like this game
wwf: no mercy: everyone at one point in their life has been told “no really no mercy is an excellent video game” and they kind of filed it away as ok, sure, why not but seriously guys this game is so good I could play it all day every day. the create a wrestler mode alone is better than anything in the world
honorable mentions / of note:
banjo-kazooie: fuck
banjo-tooie: off
bomberman 64: no it’s not saturn bomberman but this game rules
bomberman 64: the second attack: did not play but cmon it’s the same shit just pick one and play it
bomberman hero: was this the RPG one
bust-a-move '99: I played a lot of puzzle bobble, shit is just solid fun
castlevania: I mean it’s not too bad
castlevania: legacy of darkness: never played it
chameleon twist 2: what is this
conker’s bad fur day: the multiplayer is pretty fun, almost halo-y somehow
cruis’n exotica: I guess it’s a cruisin game
diddy kong racing: mario kart only with characters you don’t care about + gliding
donkey kong 64: no
extreme-g: crappy wipeout
extreme-g 2: probably more crappy wipeout
forsaken 64: what is this
gex 64: enter the gecko: lol
glover: I think I remember an ad for this game
legend of zelda: ocarina of time, the: thought it was kinda boring, but hyrule field is still cool
mario kart 64: I still think it’s the second best mario kart game
nfl blitz 2001: pretty snappy
nuclear strike 64: never played it. sure did like the genesis strike games though
mission: impossible: it had that one level where you were a waiter at a cocktail party
rayman 2: the great escape: never played it
resident evil 2: buy a PS1
san francisco rush: more cruisin rip off
shadow man: what is this
shadowgate 64: trials of the four towers: a fish out of water
south park: south park is dumb
star fox 64: star fox is only ok, but somehow I played the multiplayer a lot
tonic trouble: what is this
tony hawk’s pro skater 2: buy a PS1
turok: rage wars: what is this
turok 3: shadow of oblivion: never played it
yoshi’s story: I once wrote a review of this game for a class in high school. I gave it a 1/10
jp-only:
bakuretsu muteki bangai-o (bangai-o)
choro q 64 2: hachamecha grand prix race
custom robo v2
dezaemon 3d
dobutsu no mori (animal forest / animal crossing)
f-zero expansion kit
fushigi no dungeon: fūrai no shiren 2: oni shūrai! shiren-jō! (shiren 2)
neon genesis evangelion
mario no photopi (mario artist)
rakugakids
simcity 64
sin and punishment: this is the only one of your nihongo games I played because of course I played it and of course it is awesome
virtual pro wrestling 2: ōdō keishō
wonder project j2: corlo no mori no josette
