Hello friends. Street Fighter 6 is out tonight and I’m very excited. I thought I might never wholly enjoy a fighting game ever again, cuz lately they’ve all kinda stunk, and made for babies. But a few years back Capcom decided to get back to making good games and SF6, it is good. I am basing this on the beta I played for 30 hours straight last month. I cannot promise the final product will be as good. But the beta had incredibly good netcode and lots of avatar customization and it had some good feeling buttons. It also had some good characters. Let’s talk about them:
RETURNING STREET FIGHTERS:
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Ryu from Streets: Has a beard now, wears sandals, has a pretty robust toolkit and is very fun to play (in my experience), maybe the bare feet were holding him back.
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Ken Masters:wears shoes (not looking it up but I think they’re like Timbs), lost his fortune investing in crypto (this is canon), bad father.
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Chun-Li: Still has strong legs and knows if you’re ogling them, wears slippers, still a cop.
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Guile: Wears shoes, has eyebrows now, I’m sorry I called him a “flat top pussy” that one time, that was crossing a line, even though he is a troop.
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Zangief: Got them long boys, does not have a hairway to Steven, can do the Jackhammer (like Goldberg) and other moves that highlight how pro-wrestling very often looks kinda kinda gay.
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Dhalsim: I assume he is barefoot but I am not going to bother confirming because if I’m wrong no one will notice because almost nobody plays Dhalsim outside of Super Turbo. Prove me wrong, folks! Prove me wrong.
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Blanka: Wears overalls, doesn’t wear shoes, unfortunately people do play Blanka, am not looking forward to getting balled to death by that freak.
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Edmond Honda: Wears sandals, can dash cancel into his command grab, Hundred Hand Slap is now a command input special rather than a button mash (which is a universal change for all old characters, I think), loves Line stickers, you cannot say no one plays Honda because I am going to play Honda.
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Deejay: Sandals, near complete overhaul, has some kind of super that I think works like a mini rhythm game, looks like he may be very powerful, could it be the sandals? Could be.
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Cammy: Wears pants, no buns out, no soles on display either, this means it’s the best she’s ever looked, thank you Capcom, thank you, shame about the Union Jack on her jacket though, maybe her alt colors will remedy that.
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Juri: Barefoot and loving it too much, they really went all old modeling all the wrinkles on those piggies, that is one reason why I have faith this game will be good: because Street Fighter is for perverts.
NEW CHARACTERS:
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Marisa: Giant muscle lady gladiator, possibly the greatest FG character design of the decade, think her default costume is wearing ankle wraps, do not know if her alt colors have different nail polish but am eager to find out (for aesthetic reasons), looks like she’s Italian and not Greek (the third way) but no matter what she is a winner and has armor on like all her moves so she is probably the game’s #1 scrub killer, go Marisa.
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Luke: The game’s new mascot. UFC guy who joins a PMC is maybe the worst possible gimmick in SF history but Luke’s VA has done lots of heavy lifting and now I do not hate this character. Miracles can happen. He seems to be into synthol injections, Family Guy, and letting you know barefoot is legal.
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JP: Old man with a surprisingly ample bottom and a full screen command grab. Can’t see his feet but they’re surely expertly manicured. Once again, he has a full screen command grab which is the coolest thing in the world, looking forward to losing many games due to me stupidly spamming it and whiffing every time.
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Jamie: Very pretty, from Hong Kong, does some of that drunken master shit, when he gets fully blasted he unzips his shirt and lets his hair down but does not remove his sneakers. Those stay on.
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Lily: She’s related to T.Hawk, I think? She has these two big paddle-like things she bops people with. I did not look at her feet cuz she’s like 12.
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Kimberly: Her master is Guy from Final Fight so she has all his moves but they don’t seem to suck shit. She wears sneakers and earbuds. I am tired of writing about these characters now.
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Manon: She is French.
STREET FIGHTER 6 MECHANICS:
Look I’m gonna go make dinner, I didn’t think I’d write so many words about fighting game feet. This game seems pretty smartly designed though, it’s like the complete opposite of SF5, most characters have their complete toolkit from the start of the round and they’ve drawn elements from many of the past games (parries, focus attacks, dash cancels, alpha counters) and tied them to the drive meter, which is at the top of the screen somewhere. I’m sure you can look up some Sajam video on youtube that explains all that shit if you really care.
Wait here’s one maybe. I haven’t watched it but maybe it’s good.
Also if you have ever gone “I hate doing fireball inputs, they are too hard” you can just play this game like Smash now thanks to “Modern Controls”. Don’t ask me how they work, I haven’t tried them, some folks seem to enjoy them though, maybe give them a shot.
There’s also a ton of single player shit I’ll never play but some folks say it’s like Yakuza, maybe that’ll appeal to you.
Anyway you should buy this game and join the Select Button Club regardless of your skill level. The game supports crossplay so there are no borders, Xbox and PlayStation and PC can all fight each other, it is wonderful. I don’t know what joining a Club actually does but I do know what I’m going to be naming it so look forward to that, will post the details once this game unlocks, God I’m so sick of fucking waiting, the only reason I wrote all this garbage is cuz I’m fiending so bad, fighting games are the only games I truly love, fuck, I can’t wait to make strangers rage quit!!
) and wound up playing a ton of the story mode. I mean, what felt like a ton, I’m sure I’ve barely scratched the surface of it. Playing it like I would a Yakuza game, slamming energy drinks mid-match. Chun Li hits hard, but fake Red Bulls got me through.