MUWT 2: The Quickening

Any parent-child stuff ruins me at this point but from the title that sort of thing in the new Pirates movie made me scream that I did not care.

Spider-Man: Homecoming is cute but sometimes the plot has to happen and the Action Climax is mostly just noise.

Spider-Man pets and helps a nice bodega cat.

Donald Glover gets to speak the immortal line “I like bread.” [SPOILER!!!]

Zendaya kinda owns in it.

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and, having seen guardians 2 now, I have to say that these are both astonishingly competently directed

like, I don’t think anyone could put together a big-budget crowdpleaser sci-fi action movie without it collapsing under its own weight for the better part of 20 years and these don’t wear on me quite as much as the other marvel stuff does either

the only problem with either of them is that the writing is like, 10% too crappy – too much artificial drama between the best buds, too much PG-13 use of “freakin’”, too many unearned “you see what I did there?” moments

otherwise they are really admirably durable

We caught the 4th Pirates on TV and were shocked how much better (but still not great) it was than the 5th one.

I am still thinking how horrendously bad it was. I only hope a good flophouse comes of it.

There was a “joke” i didnt get until four hours after the film ended and when i did it felt like I had been kicked in the balls (sorry toll).

the visual effects quality really went up a whole rearload of notches between the first two of these monkey planet reboot movies

guess they got a bunch of cash to play with or something!

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homecoming is too damn long. even more so than other bloated marvel movies, since there could have been a very tight movie here if they didn’t have to indulge in marvel universe world-building and set-piece glut (even though they are largely good). it was unsurprisingly unfunny considering that it was written by six people. keaton is pretty cool though.

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I watched 30 minutes of Doctor Strange last night before turning it off because I was really bored and there wasn’t enough Mads Mikkelson for me to care

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These movies fucking rule

The true films of the proletarian revolution

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I like these ape movies especially the first one. The new one is good too but it’s not near as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be, and it(/woody harrelson) wasn’t as crazy as it looked in the trailer.

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Don’t rain on my parade I haven’t seen it yet

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also apparently they made the cia killing latin american socialism and running drugs for noriega and escobar and training contras into an aw shucks good old boy tom cruise movie

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Damn it why do I have to wait two more weeks to see gun monkeys part 3

those are the best movies

no

pretty much every Tom Cruise movie since magnolia has simultaneously made me think “they could only have made this with Tom Cruise” and “they could have just as easily not made it at all.”

I guess collateral acquits itself pretty well

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I don’t wanna hear any shit about Ghost Protocol, except about its title

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My big problem with BABY DRIVER is the idea of someone who spends a healthy chunk of their life with earbuds in being happy with/not pained by standard issue iDevice buds!

Maybe my ears are just weird idk

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i also thought this was an oversight

i hate those little fucks

There’s a gorilla with a FAL.

Also uh a human soldier dude who’s featured in a key scene has a knife with a pretty disttinctive handle wrap/shape strapped on his back and judging by that and the shape of the sheath I’m pretty sure it was made by the dude I used to know who made the WARFIGHTER knife.

In fact it might actually a be a BENGHAZI WARFIGHTER model.

PLANET OF THE WARFIGHTERS

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In Maryland “regulated firearms” are on a big delineated list of like 50 specific models but there’s a catchall at the end that’s like “any copy of the above”

A buddy of mine comes into my office to complain that he’s been looking at gun pictures for like two hours trying to figure out if the gun in his case is a “copy”. I ask him what it is, I’ve never heard of it. I plug it in google images, and I go “oh that’s a FAL copy”.

He was grateful, but also very mad.

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