What an odd movie. I really liked the older brother’s lines and delivery. And the bookstore owner.
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I saw a chunk of Blame it on Rio the other night at the hotel. It was a title I recognized because a podcast I listened to did an episode about it so I put it on for a bit. It’s pretty gross – it’s about MIchael Caine on vacation with his daughter Demi Moore, his best friend, and his best friend’s daughter, and he winds up hooking up his best friend’s daughter several times all while trying to act like he’s not OK with it but he clearly is because he keeps doing it. It was pretty hard to sit through and I had to bow out when it got to a scene where he was in bed with her and started telling a story about when she was a baby.
This pile of shit even had a jaunty little theme song with lyrics that aren’t great to begin with but when you consider what the movie is about, it’s even worse.
It’s baffling how anybody read the script for this and was like, yeah, sure, I want to be part of this.
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since it’s been a very Metroid last couple of weeks I thought why not watch Alien³ which I’ve only seen once on TV when I was a teenager. the movie is so bad at building suspense, that crosscutting between the cremation of Newt and Hicks (way to kick off a movie with negative a million good will points) and the xenomorph reveal was clumsy shit, the Bishop scene was cool but damn, I really try not to look away from movies or even check the time remaining but after that dude lured the alien into the waste removal I thought, OK, probably like 20 minutes left for a twist but ONE HOUR!? fuuuuuck (this is the director’s cut (sorry, “assembly cut”?) maybe that was a mistake)
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“it is over”
“i am released”
– me and co-producer Sigourney Weaver
already having more fun reading the wikipedia entry
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atched alien abduction (1983) and i adore how they all just talk about the alien grey as if it’s a big possum or a rat or something. “don’t bring that thing in here!”. later: “you mean it’s running around in the house?!”
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sounds like I watched the lesser alien movie tonight
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Just watched the HK 1988 sci fi film, I Love Maria. It’s about a lady robot who gets reprogrammed by a couple of dudes to fight back at the terrorist group that created her. It’s got some cool effects and the comedy dynamic between the main characters is pretty fun. Its definitely one of those “nerdy guys get a sexy robot lady that’ll do whatever they want” movies though, although they don’t really do too much with that outside of a couple of sight gags where they use her to power a record player etc.
Fun movie, definitely recommended
I also recently watched the live action 2019 version of Jade Dynasty (of which I talked about the animated series in the cartoons thread). Kinda impressive how much more of a goofy loony tunes thing this is compared to the anime. Like, the series was full of silly comedy moments, but overall was aiming more for melodrama and complex plot machinations. This version is almost entirely light hearted comedy, up until the last 15 minutes or so when the demons show up and start murdering people and then it tries to get all serious and tragic in a way that didn’t really feel earned.
Also interesting was how they changed the main character. In the anime he’s clearly lacking in kungfu compared to his peers, but manages to become proficient thanks to some help from his magical macguffin stick. In this version, he’s just a complete dunce, the stick is sentient and just wins all his fights for him.
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I just watched The Witches of Eastwick and it rocked so hard, I cannot believe I never watched this before! It’s just like… stupid fun goof 1980s comedy shit with horny jokes instead of kid jokes. The scenes near the end where the titular witches dump the one dude in their polycule (who is actually the devil, lmao) and then have the most extended chaotic breakup sequence, which involves Jack Nicholson giving a sexist rant to a full church while unseen forces cause him to projectile vomit red goop on a bunch of rich Congregationalists, is fucking wild. Cannot believe it ends with Jack Nicholson becoming a floating skeletonized baby who disappears with a sci fi pop noise. Loved it. George Miller does it again
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I saw Infinity Pool the other day. What a stinker!
I’m a huge admirer of David Cronenberg. I’ve seen almost all of his movies. I’d been sort of halfheartedly interested in his son’s movies, but I never ended up going to see them. The whole narrative around Brandon Cronenberg’s career was just a bit suspicious to me… Do you miss David Cronenberg’s classic sci-fi body horror? Well don’t worry, he’s got a son who has inherited those same fascinations, and he’s approaching them from a younger man’s perspective once again! Take his hand and walk backwards into a new kind of Videodrome! Long live the new flesh’s new flesh!
I’d hoped that maybe Brandon had some kind of voice of his own, but he really, really doesn’t. I could not believe how much of a retread this was of his father’s work.
- Sexually tinged science fiction body horror
- Alienated upper class people behaving badly
- A descent into complete dissociation where you never know what reality you’re inhabiting
- A small, tight-knit group of fetishists take their fascination to a violent extreme
- The protagonist is semi-reluctantly sent on secret political missions
It really is just so paint-by-numbers. It’s shameless! But Brandon lacks his father’s academic rigor, his perversity, and his panache. There’s not a single image from this film that will stick with me. When the formula passed down to him by his father calls for arresting horror imagery, his visions of the depths of sexual depravity are… a hallucinogenic flashing-neon-lights orgy that reads like a 15 year old boy’s most fevered notebook scribbles after watching a camrip of Enter the Void. Where’s the imagination?
Just the sheer creative bankruptcy. It’s so embarassing. Most artists’ children, when put in a nepotistic position like this, at least have the dignity and self-respect to try to make their own creative way. This guy just doesn’t give a shit! I can’t believe it! It’s like he’s trying to run the family business, like, come on down to Cronenberg & Son’s Deli, Est. 1975, try our famous Naked Lunch special! Pathetic.
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After watching the movie, I looked up the guy’s Wikipedia page and this really says it all, doesn’t it?
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The Chet Hanks of body horror
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was hollering while reading this post. branden croneberg might be the most unnuanced and plainest examples of what a hack artist is that I can think of.
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Savage
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m3gan is incredible i’m dying
i was in for creepy bratz android but it’s so fucking funny and vicious with fantastic performances and effects. love it
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watched 3 Women. it’s the first Altman movie I’ve been kinda disappointed by, which is nuts because “Persona but with Shelley Duvall” is such a strong premise. I’m having trouble even pinpointing where it falls short for me because I really like it a lot on a thematic level (identity revealed as a totally hollow thing through characters’ collapse into interchangeable stereotyped & schematized roles)
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i rewatched drug war the other night and its so insanely good… and so insanely cruel…
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just saw first blood for the first time, probably not even in the first thousand people to come away with this take but given how John Rambo is commonly referenced in pop culture (running into gunfights with no cover and Big Guns, etc) I did not expect this to be a movie about PTSD, cops being absolute useless dogshit, and toxic masculinity ruining everything. kind of more a Format Thing here but really liked that the ending was more like “act concluded satisfyingly, but the show will continue”, feel like everything I’ve seen lately with a sequel is just connected to its predecessor by some kind of hook rather than being truly part of a larger but happily self-contained story
was supposed to be a b-movie night but we came up kinda gasping for air, might be a case of subverted expectations but holy hell that movie ruled, cant wait for part 2
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while I’m here sb:
is Kung Pow: Enter the Fist a RACIST movie?? like it’s ostensibly more of a sendup of poor localization practices than the original source material but…
it still seems like it’s gotta be RACIST, right?? I got no beef with liking problematic things, I’m gonna love this movie either way (even if it’s only funny for 30% of its runtime, that 30% is pure gold)
but I wanna know, you know? gotta love someone for their flaws too
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I feel like the creators probably do have some racist impressions of Asian cultures, but the film is mostly about localization like you said. I don’t remember any scenes that felt like the joke was about how “weird” anyone’s culture is.
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