Mischief Shakers (the Booze thread)

Like a lot of people in lockdown, I’ve gotten more into drinking. Not in the sense that I’m drinking loads (it’s honestly, probably about the same), more that I got a large delivery from a home bar supply company because I want to be able to make more drinks and make them right, even if the term “mixologist” makes me want to drink King Cobra and burp aggressively in the face of people who use mustache wax (if you use mustache wax and you’re a regular here, don’t worry, I’m sure you’re one of the people who can pull it off and I won’t burp in your face). Drinking in public is just this weird mixture of being/presenting yourself as classy/trashy/pretentious, with all the (lack of) self-awareness implied.

Rather than blather on about the topic, I’m going to jump straight into making a drink and documenting it. I’m going to make a Gordon’s Cup, which is a pretty recent drink invented at Milk and Honey, which was one of those insufferable speakeasy bars in NYC. Now, there are aspects of “speakeasy culture” that I think are good – there was a Code of Conduct that basically said don’t be a dick, especially to our neighbors – it’s more of the “we get to decide if you’re cool enough to come in and you have to be in the know to find out about it”, it’s just too Cool Kids Club for me, plus it gets too steampunk-adjacent and anybody who says they’re into Jazz without having any, say, Miles Davis, is questionable. Anyway, the guy who ran Milk and Honey, Sasha Petraske, was some kind of bartending savant who mysteriously died at 42 three months after he got married (what little research I’ve done points toward dude doing a ridiculous amount of coke) and before that happened, he made this cocktail!

That’s all the stuff I needed to make the drink, except for the juicer, which I put out there and then realized that I didn’t need! Also, the glass isn’t there because it was in the freezer, chillin’. The glass will show up later, I promise.

So, basic recipe:

3/4 oz simple syrup (sugar-infused water, mas o menos)
4 cucumber slices
4 lime wedges

Put the above into a container, and “gently” muddle it. This basically means “crush until the juices come out”.

2 oz London dry gin (there are way more types of gin than you think there are and historically “gin”, especially in the Western Hemisphere, was not what we call gin now)
Ice

Add the above to the muddled mixture and shake the living hell out of it for 10-15 seconds.

Chilled double rocks glass
Ice for the aforementioned glass, either one giant cube/sphere or a bunch of cracked ice, your call

Double-strain (really you could just single-strain it, it’ll just take longer) the shaken liquid into the glass.

4 more cucumber slices
2 more lime wedges
pinch of salt
pinch of black pepper

Garnish the drink with the above, just get the fruit in the glass in a way that’s pleasing to you, then sprinkle the spices over the top of it.

This is quite a tasty drink! It’s sweeter than I was expecting, which, it’s almost a 2:1 booze/sugar ratio, so I should have realized that. The sugar really hits you up front, then recedes into a wonderful combination of gin/lime/cucumber, with the salt and pepper dancing in and out of the evolution of the sip. It’s very brisk and light and refreshing and changes over the course of the whole drink as the dilution from the ice and the added flavors from the garnish shift the ratios.

I also made a Gordon’s Breakfast, which is intended to be the “brunchier” version, with the only changes being that you add some Worcestershire sauce and then twice as much hot sauce (the original recipe calls for Cholula, I used Valentina) when you add in the gin and ice.

I also used cracked ice on this one as I’d used my last large sphere on the Gordon’s Cup. I used the Valentina extra-hot, which may have been a mis-step as this drink was preeeeetty spicy and it might have drowned out the Worcestershire a little too much; however, it was still delicious, you still get all the notes from the Cup plus the spice and the umami, and it beats the shit out of a Bloody Mary, which still seems like an excuse to cram as much ridiculous shit at the top of a glass of tomato soup.

Anyway! Talk about booze!

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mostly I haven’t been drinking anything but like a monthly canned cocktail from a gas station because you can’t get liquor delivered in my state and the liquor stores are like New Years Eve every day. probably for the best.

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Whisky

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A friend of mine has gotten very into the making-cocktails thing, especially in the last year. She posts cool stuff on her Instagram but I think it’s a private account.

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Yeah that sounds like the best of a bad situation, I’m lucky in that CA allows booze delivery – what do you get? I feel like the canned cocktail situation has gotten a lot better in the last ten years or so and you can get something that’s halfway decent?

What’s your preference, Winker? The two scotches I always have on hand are Laphroiag 10-year Cask Strength and the Balvenie Doublewood.

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Also for two people who are not wine drinkers my wife and I keep winding up with bottles of wine on hand. Not a problem, really, but just funny.

We have a few bottles of that silly Star Trek wine which I’m probably just going to stash for a few years and try to re-sell

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HERE’S HOW YOU MAKE MY COCKTAIL

IT’S CALLED

The Bachelor’s Wife

One part triple sec
One part Campari
One part lime juice

Shake it! Hard! Serve it “on the rocks!” Savor it…just like you would a wife!

What inspired this cocktail? It was the only booze and juice I had in my apartment. I wish I had Cointreau instead of triple sec but it’s like quadruple the cost…!! How does it taste? I don’t exactly remember, I made so many of these I ran out of the ingredients and now I mainly just drink straight gin. I recall it being enjoyable, and it got me drunk. How does it look? It’s kinda orange/pink. Who named it? @miffy had a good idea and I stole it. That’s a thing I love to do.

If you ever make the Bachelor’s Wife please let me know what you think, and post pictures. Thank you.

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Laphroiag 10, Lagavullin 16, Ardbeg 10, Glenfiddich Fire & Cane.

But generally I’ll try anything.

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I’ve discovered, or maybe just rediscovered, a love for sour beers. I even found that some spiked seltzers are actually pretty good.
I have definitely drank more in the last ten months than my entire life leading up to that.

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This is a fine selection! I like Monkey Shoulder a lot as an affordable go to scotch. Winker, have you tried Smokey Monkey? Nobody seems to have it in the states.

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i will never be able to obtain a sensibly priced bottle of thomas h handy sazerac again and that sucks

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I haven’t even heard of it.

I actually work for a drink wholeseller so used to have tasting sessions with brand reps regularly but obviously this doesn’t happen currently. A colleague of mine was given a gallon bottle of monkey shoulder once.

The most expensive whisky i have ever tasted is bruichladdich octomore. It was at 10am in a meeting room ;_;

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I used to thumb through the Food & Wine cocktail books my mom got every year, but now I don’t usually do anything more than a highball or gin and tonic. I made my dear friend matcha whiskey high balls for Christmas and now I’m out of Suntory.

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There’s some okay brands out there, but mostly I just get the cranberry Monaco. It’s okay, and sometimes you just want okay and aren’t up for good, y’know?

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I left out how I love a good Moscow Mule. Delicious.

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@winkerwatson can you get ginger wine? I still haven’t seen it at all in the states, but my ex’s father poured some into my glass of whisky when I was hanging out with her family in Hereford and it really left an impression!

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Yes.

https://www.crabbiesgingerwine.co.uk/

There is another Scottish brand but I can’t remember the name. Crabbies also make alcoholic ginger beer.

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These were a revelation for me. Monk’s Cafe Flemish Sour Ale was my introduction, just absolutely perfect. Just recently also had an amazing one, Hermit Thrush Brewery’s “Supah Funk”

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A really good Indian beer (the only one I can get in the states):

Probably the most delicious stout in existence (it’s Canadian):

Current open whisk(e)ys:

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Boulevard Brewery in KC currently has out one called Berry Noir and it’s so fantastically tart. My friend, who is an alcoholic and will drink pretty much anything, tried a sip of one and couldn’t even choke it down. I have a six pack of that and another kind of sour in his fridge because I know they will still be there the next time I’m over.

Now looking at a beer menu somewhere is much more appealing to me. I want to try all the sours I can find.

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