okay i had to get weed but we’re back on track to sneaking up on that purple thief bastard
oh wait
do they have a monsterpedia
YESSSSSS
WELL EXPECT TO GET SPAMMED WITH THESE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE
inside inside. did i write this??
ha ha! my eyes are much faster than my feet!
the frog coins are so distressed
also when you miss its random chance so it doesnt break your chain!
awww when i beat croco mallow was just like ‘we can return to the mushroom kingdom together via the map’ and im like EXCUSE ME WHERES MY SPRINGBOARD WITH A SUN ON IT
i love shy guys… especially when they’re JUST POSTed up guarding mack the knife
oh.
oh i mean claymorton duh, how could i be so STUPID
i mean i get it i had to have the joke explained to me as a child and it took three people to find out what it meant cuz no one my fucking age knew that song. but i FOUND OUT and ended up liking it, its a neat song
the upgrade from knife to claymore is pretty fucking big i think! like thats one hell of a promotion if you ask me. it took me a while to get the claymore pun though. i was like 'whos morton, why is he made out of clay?"
wow okay i never realized there was a little devil riding on top of mac… I MEAN CLAYMORTON’s head! i thought he just had a fancy round pommel!!! amazing! i wonder what else i visually misunderstood!
HOW DARE YOU POP UP I AM IN THE SECOND BOSS FIGHT DO NOT TEACH ME THINGS THIS SLOW. oh it works just like persona. hes downed
FIRST STAR GET
um when i walked outside the castle it was dark but i also thought the game was frozen then a twinkle went by and it was light again and i didnt like that at all. what the fuck was that. have the sun fucking come out like a normal goddamn game dont freeze me and then screenwipe you bastards
glad they kept this line i always loved this line
I KNOW IM UNDERGROUND BUT LOOK THE STAGE STILL CUTS OFF IM FLOATING IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE (yay)
the rats are still doing their culty little circle dance!
fights tell you which moves are unblockable when the enemy casts them now
OH ALSO the yoshi bonus game doesnt actually seem like bullshti anymore? you can follow the correct egg and guess right every time. that always pissed me off as a kid. oh man when i got persona 3 fes and i was guessing the card right every time it made me go WAIT A MINUTE and REPLAY mario rpg and be like. FUCK YOU. I ACTUALLY DID FOLLOW THE FUCKING YOSHI
anyway they fixed it. no more gaslit children
yeah I haven’t got a single one wrong ahh that’s so great. it was such bullshit id always save state scum them til I got the right one when I wasn’t playing on snes (if I played on snes I said no to all of the chance times but the ones in boosters tower with the blue fireballs that live in the floor)
THERES NO SPRINGBOARD WITH A SUN TO ACCIDENTALLY SEND YOU BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF BELOMES SEWER EITHER
THEY HAVE REMOVED THE SUN SPRINGS
im neutral on this but im KINDA sad i dont get to see an upscaled version of the sun with the shades
this thread is the way how this game should be consumed for the first-time-folks, what a treat this must be if you didn’t know where it goes 
also:
guess i know what my brother will get for Christmas 
Ok this seems like basically a good remake but “Claymorton” is some BULLSHIT
and YES i am biased because my name is literally Mackenzie and people have called me Mack the Knife since i was too young to know what they were fucking talking about and then i learned its a rad old song about, uhhh, a serial killer who murders women
I was so goddamn excited to see my name in a Mario game as a kid damn it 
hes also CLEARLY a fucking KNIFE
the first guy you fight in Smithy Gang can’t be retroactively a sword!! youre working your way up from the bottom you dont get to fight the SWORD guy until near the end!!! aaaagh
yeah “dirk” would have been a more appropriate choice if you wanted to keep kids away from socialist gateway drugs or whatever the reason for the change was
Text boxes in this game are way too slow.
they had to rename him because Sinatra is overused in videogames now
okay this really annoys me. if i go to the start menu and try to use an item its like YOU CAN PRESS A BUTTON IN THE FIELD TO DO THIS ACTION and its like thank you, but im here already, in the menu, clicking an item. why does this menu exist if i cant fuckiNG USE ITEMS FROM IT??? ITS JUST TO LOOK AT??? FUCK YOU
THERES A SPRING!!! YAY A SPRING!!! but not a sun spring to show that you’re going to the world map cuz thats where the sun is… why am i so bummed out about the lack of sun springs
the little boss fight animation intros are short and cute and great
I LOVE BELOME
even though hes a pushover with superjump
FIRST MINIGAME
the song rules. i got two flowers and three frog coins which means i have to go back for another frog coin if i want to be A COMPLETIONIST
oh the barrel-jumping event. thats easy. get hit jump jump get hit get hit jump jump get hit get hit jump jump get hit get hit jump jump for the most coins!!! YES I REMEMBER THIS BUT NO I DID NOT FIGURE IT OUT my brother figured it out. hes really proud of it. if you talk to him about mario rpg he’ll be like 'my little sibling likes that game i helped them get all the coins in the barrel jump"
mario rpg is a family affair
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK FISH COME UP ON YOU FROM BEHIND NOW AND YOU HAVE TO CHANGE UP THE PATTERN A LITTLE BIT OTHERWISE THEY HIT YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I HAVE TO CALL MY BROTHER, HE NEEDS TO RE ROUTE MY MINIGAME I FUCKED UP SO BAD I ONLY GOT 50 COINS
i actually like this change it’ll be fun to figure out how to get 100 coins again
that is NOT a nok nok shell excuse me
strangely important to me does it use all the original sound effects
no that’s why I keep griping about differences when I hear them
the sound effects seem the same when I switch to the classic soundtrack too
most of the sounds are like I rememeber them but when it’s not it’s very jarring. like mallows thundercrack when you get the timing right, or bowsers voice
FROGFUCIUS IS NAMED FROG SAGE NOW. (okay i only got a textbox that says ‘you cant do this til you talk to frog sage’ so maybe thats not his name but now i have to go do ffxiv with my free company so i wont find out for a few hours AAAAAAAAAAAAAA) toadofsky is still the same thank goodness
this is making me realize that Mario RPG might’ve been the definitive 90s squaresoft work all along due to having both Woolsey and very expensive prerendered graphics
no one else had both
Wow I ended up getting bit by the nostalgia bug and starting this game too! So far I’m pleasantly surprised at the quality of the remake. That level up screen is the only major aesthetic mistake I’ve noticed so far, and it is at least partially redeemed by the ABSURD dances the characters do. Otherwise they nailed the aesthetic and vibe! The remixed music is a delight too.
