LEGEND OF THE TOWERFUCKER


#1

here is the default title screen rpg maker gave me. i gave it the first title text that came to mind.

i am going to make an rpg in twenty days

why are you looking at me like that that’s totally a reasonable thing to say and hold myself to

you play the Towerfucker. you ascend a tower and fuck it up. thanks for reading my post


#2

This is the wreck it ralph of videogames


#3

do it do it
bo ma ye


#4

Don’t ever change that name


#5

I love tower


#6

very good name

very good punk

I hope you can kill a shrug in the tower but I understand if there are no shrugs in the tower


#7

there will be a slime called shruggoth if i have time for it


#8

Will play (asuming linux can run rpg2k-ish) stuff


#9

I want to be in the tower too


#10

I believe in you, haley!! You can do it!!

I’ve made two RPG Maker games. One was a Western. It was done in Playstation RPG Maker. It was way too much work and I never finished the first town. I remember at one point you found a syringe in a haystack. I think that was supposed to be an Elliott Smith reference. I thought that was very clever as a kid.

Then a few years ago I made one about a boy trapped on a deserted island. He had very good hair. His name was Hiarboy, and the goal of the game was to explore the island in search of top tier shampoo ingredients so’s Hiarboy could maintain his top tier hair.

You never escape the island. Why would you want to do that if you had good hair? You just gotta maintain what you got, and what you got is a lot.

I think most of the game was just multiple choice prompts that had no real effect on how the game played out. Most of the assets were screenshots I took of J-toons and movies I watched on my PC that summer…so it was just, like, caps of EVA and Mishima’s PATRIOTISM and that Phantasm sequel where the ice cream dude somehow bangs a black lesbian in the back of a hearse.

I don’t know what this says in Japanese but I bet it’s pretty close “Hiarboy” and that’s why I just rolled with that typo…cuz I may not be able to read hiragana or katakana, but I can fuckin’ FEEL it.

The whole game was inspired by this default portrait. Lookit that fuckin’ nerd! Got nothing going for him aside from his hair. I bet if I had hair I’d use shampoo with henna in it. That’s the good stuff, right?

This is the first NPC you encounter. He encourages you to search the island for herbs and shit so you can keep your hair looking good. Is that what shampoo’s made of? Herbs? I have no idea.

I spent a few minutes playing the game just now and every location I’ve stumbled upon has this guy saying the same thing but the town layouts are all different? I can’t find the bit where you kill the monkeys for their coconuts and then make shampoo, or the other bit where you kill monkeys for their bananas and make shampoo, or the terrible maze that ends with you getting married to a baldie and then boiled alive.

Maybe I can’t find any of this stuff cuz it’s 2AM and I can’t see shit cuz I don’t have my glasses but maybe…maybe this game is pretty bad. I know you can do better, haley! Please…do it!! Also please forgive me for blathering on about myself in your good thread; I am hoping it is a form of cheering u on…believe it!


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#14

this looks sick


#15

limiting myself to 27x15 rooms (the amount of tiles that can fit on screen) for the whole game is one of the best design decisions i’ve ever made. everything looks and feels so much better when i force myself to use space efficiently.


#16

Quick question - random floors, or set order?


#17

set order, though the order im making them in (not the order you play them) is just based on whatever im excited about at the moment.

with classes starting tomorrow i definitely won’t be making my twenty day deadline, but that’s fine.


#18

the most tantalizing treasures in towerfucker are tucked behind the most dastardly and stupid puzzles i’ve ever designed

look forward to them~!


#19

haley you’re making me wanna do an RPG Maker game…please…never stop Makin.


#20

this just in: THE LEGEND OF THE TOWERFUCKER features complex moral choices

will you play this minigame that lasts all of a couple minutes but which took me all day to make and still lags like hell? the choice is yours!