Kyoei Toshi (Let's Play!)


#1

Hey y’all I wrote up the first three chapters for a friend so maybe y’all would like to read it and I will continue for the whole game. I know it is written awfully but hey on my phone y’all. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER for a game you will never get to play. This first post is up to chapter 3.

So you get to choose your gender and then you get to choose your relationship with the Female NPC (GF, childhoodfriend, cousin?). I can’t remember because I saw Lesbian relationship in video games and had to jump on that. And good on them letting me do it even if the most we have done is she has held my hand while we run from things. Also I am pissing her off by choosing ANIME options in dialog trees.

And the dialog trees are great. You can break them down into roughly three categories ANIME, SERIOUS, and ASSHOLE. There are plenty of variations on each. I switch between Serious and Anime because if they have the option to introduce to a stranger as ~TuTuRu Ero-chan Desuuu Nya Nya~ how am I not going to take it?

So Ero-Chan is on her way to meet her date (and all of the relationship stuff is decided as you go forward!) two Ultraman suddenly appear and are fighting each other. I run around them. Then one turns into a monster and my hands start glowing purple. I hide but accidentally come across some Yakuza deal with a suitcase of money. Erochan manages to run into a subway station and meet with Yuki.

They get on the working trains and are riding while people around them go “is this monster attack even real?” The train suddenly stops and attacked by I guess Starship Troopers Bugs? We run to the next station which is covered in tentacles. A little girl is searching for hamburgers. I have to solve one Survival Horror style puzzle. Erochan and Yuki run to the surface for the police to be overrun by the bugs. One of police ushers you into a 2008 Subaru Impreza (no spoiler).

  • Thank You Mister Policeman. Im Sorry
    -You Idiot get in here too
    -lewd gester Suckerrrrr

We drive off. The police man is definitely dead. As we drive across Rainbow Bridge we start getting rearended in gameplay. I thought this was just the game being like chaos as Mothra flies overhead. You pull to a stop because of an overturned 18 wheeler. Right behind us the rearenders reveal themselves

  • I don’t recognize those people
    -Huh? Those guys with the suitcase.
  • Yuki We Need To Run Now!

The Yakuza get stopped by another Yakuza guy that I am almost certain was voiced by Kiryu. There is a Yakuza scene for three minutes while Mothra blows up stuff in the background.

Escaping the Yakuza our heroines meet a couple on their way to meet her father to announce their engagement. The man tells us he is a game developer and the father shouldn’t worry because it is just a normal office job. It looks like they won’t make it because the bridge is closed. He hands us a copy of his game a play on Raw Danger’s name. We end up stealing a Harley as the crowd goes from Save US Too to “No we should cheer them on, they’ll bring help!”

We take the Harley over the ramp and race across the rest of the bridge which collapses into the ocean behind you. I felt terrible.


Stop there for now. When the bugs attack the police the framerate dropped into 4-5fps and I thought my console was going to hardlock. It ruled. Very early on I ran into some fire and rolled out of it and it burned my jacket off. There has been serious degradation of my remaining shirt. Not 3rd Birthday levels thankfully but maybe it gets that far. Everyone in cutscenes is in normal clothes and I am in rags.


#2

I probably want to play this more than any other particular game I could think of rn


#3

Ugh, this sounds even better than I expected

I am livid with jealously


#4

Is it weird that I guessed which game this is by the second paragraph?

I really wish this gets translated sometime. Likely as a fan work ofc

Either that, or I’ll learn japanese


#5

The inconsequential but personality building dialog trees are excellent if you uhhh already have medium Japanese ability and need examples of how different people say the same thing.


#6

every sentence of this is the most incredible fever dream I’ve ever heard


#7

Okay. Stage 4 is in a high rise. We meet the previously mentioned father and inform him that his daughter is probably dead and that the fiance wanted him to have a copy of his game. He breaks down and reveals of course he had played all the games. He found them beautiful in how you could have a message in the medium that came across even in an imperfect form. He loved his daughter and only wanted her happiness after her mother passed away. This was a chance for her to find true happiness and he can find some peace in that.

Wow! Game! Having some real moments there. But then the Yakuza show back up and we gotta run. We run into a blogger I forgot to mention that saw my magic powers. He distracts the Yakuza and we run into the elevator. Then the power goes out. Tried to put the moves on my girl but she wasn’t having it.

I am eventually rescued by a fireman. The buildings on fire and some evil red robot is trying to steal a safe. And kill/capture me? We run I steal a whole bunch of money from that very safe.

The Yakuza are still chasing us and we hide in an office. As they approach

  • make bird noises
  • make dog noises
  • make cat noises
  • make modem noises
  • make cicada noises
  • stay quiet
  • say no one is here

I went with cicada noises which causes Ero to make insane noises while Yuki looks on terrified. The Yakuza guy goes away and another person wonders about Cicadas out of season.

We run into a little girl that claims to be Yuki (my gf)'s sister. Yuki plays along. We need to go to the hospital to see her dad. Well might as well follow this insane main quest. The building burning down around us the girl on my back not Yuki’s because I am supposed to be playing a boy I guess?? i run into the bathroom to change my hair design. But only the womens they specifically go Why Would I Go In The Men’s Bathroom??

As the building burns the Yakuza found us again and as they chase us a Patalabor Robit bursts through the window and rescues us. As we are repelling down the building we look up and

  • wave at the yakuza
  • lewd gester
  • whistle

End of chapter 4. At the end of each chapter we can read a website with ads and autoplay videos about all the events. Doing sidequests and your choices changes what is displayed in the website. During the Yakuza chases you have to hit square to avoid getting caught which causes the camera to freak the fuck out like this is a PS1 era game and sometimes I got a game over just because I went into a loop of having to hit square because I could not get my bearings.

Next time Chapter 5: God and Curry


#8

Aahhhh can’t forget again when the Yakuza show up

  • You gotta help us
  • Are those YOUR friends
  • Never seen those guys before

I love there is a whole dialog tree for complete idiot.


#9

CHAPTER 5

I am still escorting the little girl to see her and “Yuki’s” dad. Upon regaining control I hear that heavenly choir noise and oh shit oh shit. Angel 1 in all it’s glory is destroying the city. We run across the street into a convience store. I go in the back and change out of my rags into an employees uniform. Yuki asks me where I got it. I told her I was SERIOUSLY just borrowing it. I buy a few snacks from the almost bare shelfs as well.

As we exit Eva-01 shoots up from the ground and starts a complete reenactment of the Episode 1 fight blow for blow (It is incredible). We don’t have time for that we gotta see Dad at the hospital.

But wait the owner of a Go Go Curry is flagging us down! Yuki and her little sister! Yuki you used to work here don’t you remember! I’m really hungry. Let’s eat.

We head inside the restaurant. The owner realizes this isn’t the same Yuki. But she really does look like her. The sister looks at Yuki and says You are going to get your usual right? Of…of course I am.

I decide to get the same.

image

I finish mine somehow. And then have to brave also eat all of Yuki’s because I am a good girlfriend and I am not going to break the facade this is this little girl’s sister.

The whole time outside the window Angel 1 and Shinji are fighting it out. As we leave the restaurant, the owner thanks us for playing along with the little girl. Now we gotta see Dad!

EVA-01 goes into berserk mode and is tearing and eating as we run by and make it to the hospital.

Dad is in good spirits. He gets the girl to leave and explains her sister died in a car accident a week ago. They were on the way to get the little sister a birthday present. That’s why he was there alone. It had been hard since their mom died when the littlest was young (lots of dead moms in this game (hey we just saw a dead mom eat a soldier of God!!)). Yuki had done such a good job of helping raise her.

I admit this scene in all it’s ridiculous got to me a little bit.

The father thanks us for pretending to be Yuki. The sister at some level knows she isn’t. We see a photograph and they really do look the same. We leave them and walk outside the hospital into the night.

CHAPTER 6

We wake up on a tiny row boat in the middle of the ocean. No time has really passed and we have no idea why we got there. We get picked up by an ocean research vessel. The photographer from Chapter 1 is here. He just got some great info and is leaving on a helicopter see-ya suckers!!

Our clothes soaking wet they let us dry off in a private room. Some sexy music starts playing but for my scene at least it was hecka G rated.

I look into Yuki’s eyes and

  • feel brave
  • feel the urge to start uncontrollably laughing
  • feel embarassed
  • feel deep love
  • feel calm
  • who is this girl again?

DINK

It’s time to run across the ship six times to do a silly love story between the first mate and the head female scientist studing whales. She wants to get closer to a mysterious signal and the captain had a priority to the ship and it’s crew.

This chapter’s story beats are as visible as a giant ocean research vessel.

But Yuki asks what’s the most memorable part of the journey so far?

  • You of course
  • the big monsters what are they?
  • this is the end of the world isn’t it?
  • that photographer
  • that woman “journalist”
  • that couple we met on the bridge

Anyways once we pass letters back and forth between the love birds we meet up with the captain and lord do I appreciate this game’s adherence to tradition. This is of course the captains last voyage and they are going home tomorrow and finally be with his wife every day. He will truly miss the sea.

But wait that mysterious blip has disappeared!! Get the first mate he was at the back of the ship being a dang coward who can’t talk to a girl that already likes him!! The captain needs you bucko.

And then we get that roar.

Yuki and I make it to a lifeboat and grab a picture of the would be lovebirds as the whole boat sinks and we end the chapter as it began in the middle of the ocean alone and confused. Why do all the incidents happen around us??


#10

CHAPTER 7

These next few go by real fast. Our liferaft floated to a dock where black bad robots I assume from Patalabor are attacking the good robots from Patalabor. The Yakuza show up to chase us again. We run and have to

HOT


FORKLIFT

ACTION

To move a crate out of the way. We run around a bit and Yuki takes control of one of the bad robots to knock more shipping containers out of the way. As we jump out of the robot Lisa calls out to us to Get On These Harleys!! I don’t think I talked about Lisa before so here is a recap.

LISA

We met her in the subway tunnels our phone broke so that we could run away from the starship trooper bugs and she gave us her spare work phone. We got a message from that phone that let to the skyscraper where we ran into the blogger dude again. She’s been tracking us for some reason. Probably because I have magic powers and where-ever I am monsters attack!

We speed off on the harleys towards her office.

Chapter 8

With Godzilla and King Gidorah fighting it out on the streets we weave between them and park our bikes in front of an office building. Godzilla steps on our bikes immediately. We get to the 14th floor. A man with a leg injury working overtime hands us a harddrive that we need to get to the Space Research center. He still has one more project to finish.

Godzilla’s mouth laser shatters every window.

We continue talking. Why Yuki and me? Because three people are more likely to succeed than one Lisa exclaims. I should be clear Yuki and I both think Lisa is hella cool. She’s in a Fujiko black leather jumper right now and every dialog choice is praise.

With our bikes destroyed we run to the train station. Lisa trips! The doors shut and we pull away. Promising to get the HDD to where it needs to.

Chapter 9

Bad Ultraman Villian picks up our train! Then some different Ultraman than the ones in chapter 1 puts it down. We run along the tracks and some dude recognizes I have special powers or am talking to the monsters.

  • yeah that’s right!
  • I have powers but I don’t understand them!
  • n-no You have the wrong person!
  • No It’s You!

The crowd decides to throw rocks at us. Yuki blocks them from hitting me. I start doing my glow thing and the crowd decides it isn’t worth it and walks away??

Before this the crowd was just complaining about all their petty life struggles as the city was destroyed by two guys in rubber suits around them. Ugh i have a super important meeting! I have an important nomikai to get too.

We run along the tracks and the chapter ends when we make it to the station.


#11

this is the greatest game ever made


#12

During this next chapter I screamed, “Fuck Uncharted” to my empty room.

Chapter 10 Part 1

We need to deliver this Harddrive! We run along the streets this time pursued by 8ft tall flying dinosours I don’t recognize.

I hesitate to explain this next part, but I will because it is so far the only part of the game that has bothered me and felt overly mean. We run into a guy with a leg injury trying to find his girlfriend. We tell him to stay put. He ignores us and immediately gets eaten. We dodge the monsters and hide in a building. A girl runs into us trying to find her boyfriend.

  • He’s dead you can’t save him
  • umm…you see…
  • he was taken by those things
  • worry about yourself we will look for him
  • i don’t have time for this shit

She pushes passes us runs outside and some rubble immediately crushes her. This would be hilarious but this game actually treats each death with some emotional weight and this is the first one that felt unnecessarily cruel of letting the player know the motivations of each party and immediately killing them.

As we run out of this building we see a bus loading up. We run to the bus and get on. It is immediately attacked and knocked over. We come to and climb out. As Yuki is climbing out she is grabbed by one of the dinos and carried away.

  • Hey idiot take me too
  • i gotta rescue her
  • I want to fly on a dinosaur too!!!
  • shit I have to save her I guess
  • finally free of that hassle woof.

I get taloned up too.

Chapter 10 Part 2 Alpha

Hmm! Alpha huh? Must mean there are different versions of this chapter interesting! We are on the remains of Not-Tokyo Tower. We quickly meet back up with Yuki and make our way down. There is some subquest to find some thing for a lady that I missed out on because the item was upstairs.

The fire escape stairs are locked and the key was eaten by those dinos. Good thing There are piles of their poop hanging around. I dig through some poop and find the key. Then a helicopter flies by and crashes into the tower. We start running down the emergency stairs. I get seperated and have to balance walk across some beams while the dinos make divebombs at me. This was the point where I screamed fuck uncharted. We get cornered by the dinos only for GAMERA to show up and mouth fireball the jerks for end of chapter.

Bonus when we rescue Yuki this was my response choice for why I came for her. @mauve @sakurina @broco if y’all one to take a crack at capturing the spirit of the dialog choices.

Mine are

  • I couldn’t bear to see you die
  • i felt a strange urge that I had to rescue you
  • there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you my love
  • It’s not just you. If you see someone in trouble you have to help them right?
  • i didn’t plan on saving anyone, just you okay?
  • Nah I just wanted to go flying, rescuing you was a bonus.

#13

I covered up your translations to do this.

  • I couldn’t just watch you die.
  • It was strange, but I felt like I had to save you.
  • To lose the one I love would be too much to bear…
  • It wasn’t just you, it’s natural to want to save those in trouble.
  • Wasn’t planning on saving you, it just happened.
  • Ah, I was just really jealous of you flying, so I came along.

Definitely Irem game.


#14

Plot is starting to meander but let’s continue!

Chapter 11

We make it to the Research Center. The blogger is in the lobby and says no one is here. We take a vote to see who will go then he tricks me into going to find some treasure. I meet a scientist who is disintegrated 60s scifi style by man in a stupid spandex suit with a big dumb head and a big fake lasergun. Like they just made the lasers by drawing on the negatives! (It looks perfect.)

We meet up with some scientists who we need to get something from a locker so we can get to the inner research facility. The scientist urges me not to look into their locker. I ignore that and find some choice Boy’s Love Manga.

We meet up with the head scientist who is going to use the HDD to launch a program to close the portals that are probably the cause of all these monsters. Lisa is also here for some reason. Her and the Blogger have some history obviously and argue back and forth. He leaves.

Before the scientist can use the Program one of his assistances transforms into the dumb alien in this perfect stop filming replace the actor with the alien start filming cut and blasts the scientist disintegrating him and the HDD. Oh well! Time to run away I guess.

Chapter 12

The blogger catches up again and tells us to go see some yakuza guy who may he able to solve my glowy problems. He leaves saying he has some work to do. Lisa also says she has other business and runs off. I run into a conbini and buy Strawberry Chicken Nuggets. We take a break to listen to some nice live radio broadcast in a studio.

This is interupted by the tentacle Angel slicing the roof off the building. EVA 01 shoots up out of the ground and starts gatling gunning. We run between their legs get a message from Lisa asking her to rescue her.

Of course we will!
We are on our way!
For you my Lisa I will travel to the ends of the earth
Sigh…fine

I waste time running around an office opening a locker and putting on a boys school uniform that is two sizes too big.

We get to Lisa she has freed herself and then gets a phone call and runs off again. We watch EVA carry the Angel a couple blocks away then explode into a cross.

Hey glowy hands! Firemen show up. I steal a fireman uniform. We run around a corner and those Yakuza knock me out and hold Yuki hostage! End of Chapter


#15

OKABE RINTARO IS JUST HANGING OUT

Seriously his dialog is allHAHAHAHA EVERYTHING IS GOING ACO-huh? Oh…ummm I uhh just like wearing a white coat. Sorry.


#16

This is absolutely not good.


#17

Chapter 13

I wake up. The Yakuza reveal they want to harnass me as a weapon. The American government is interested. They aren’t Yakuza but work for the W&P Corporation. (War and Profit??)

They leave us tied up in a room as Godzilla and Mecha Godzilla fight it out. I crawl across the room to undo my ropes with a pair of scissors. I also find a W&P employee registry showing Lisa on it. This will help lessen the blow when it turns out Lisa works for them. In retrospect I couldn’t think of any prompts that acknowledge I know.

I berate Yuki for not trying to undo her ropes and then I admire that I have her in an office uniform tied up with some ropes with some appropriate mood lighting.

We get up run around a big. I think Godzilla is defeated. As the Yakuza chase us Mecha Godzilla walks straight through the building and end of chapter.


#18

Time to finish this since I wrote that last post after I had beaten the game. It has been a few weeks so excuse me if the final 4 chapters are a bit of a blur they were at the time as well.

Chapter 14

We run through the streets. A man offers us their French Restaurant for 10 million dollars. Despite stealing all the money from that safe and turning in a lottery ticket I am still 2 million short.

Lisa calls us again. We need to rescue her journalist mentor. Around us Three Different Ultramen fight an Ultraman Big Bad I Assume. We get a very long monologue about how Lisa was fearless as a journalist and blog guy was right there with her. Wow what a reveal! She has a bad leg so we carry her around for a while them drop her off. Lisa needs to meet us in a residential district. Ultraman #? Kicks the monster in an iconic way.

Chapter 15

In the residential district we steal everything not nailed down in a house ans find a man hiding in the closet. We happen to have his surely dead wive’s earrings on and pass those along while stealling one of her old outfits.

I put Yuki and myself in matching bikinis and hoodies. This was just a bonus outfit I unlocked.

My hoodie is quickly destroyed in the worst segment of the game. You have to run zig zag down a street hiding behind lamp poles while Yakuza guys try to run you over with a car. The car can turn on a dime. It took like 10 tries to make it all the way through. It is horrible and infuriating.

Meanwhile

Holy Shit.


On top of a building we run into cool yakuza guy. He knows we are connected to all of this going on. The W&P guys show up shoot him and me and take Yuki. What was happening in those pictures happens and Screen turns to white. I wake up dazed and Yakuza guy asks me if I am gonna save Yuki and what does she mean to me?


#20

Wow Time for me to finish this let’s play of a game I finished over two months ago! I remember so little at this point but I’ve been sitting on these screenshots for months.

CHAPTER 16

I gotta fund Yuki. Equipped in my bikini and captain’s hat I will find her. The disgusting flesh tentacles are terrorizing the city again. Lisa shows up again and offers me

MOTORCYCLE
OR
HORSE

Gamera is also there


CHAPTER 17

This is it equipped with my cowboy outfit and fried chicken powers I will find Yuki. But first I will be confronted with a crowd who blames me for all the monsters. I use my glowy hands and declare that “Yes I am an alien from another world!” They get scared and run away. Lisa is not impressed.

Lisa stops me before the final confrontation and asks me one more time. “You have no idea what you will face but you are going to rescue her?”

  • I will humbly rescue her Mame!
  • with this power I will rescue her!
  • It would be awful to stop now, I’ m going!
  • i am not really in the mood but if I’ve gone this far I guess I will go.

I have no pictures of the next part and it was three months ago so excuse me while I try and remember. It turns out Lisa is the mastermind behind Yuki’s kidnapping. Yuki gave me my glowy hands. The monsters are attracted to Yuki. Because Yuki is a space alien.

I taught her what love and caring is though. That humans truly are wonderful creatures. The Yakuza guys fall down a hole. The good Yakuza guy gets shot. There is a helicopter about to take off as the building collaspes. We try to rescue Lisa and I maybe let her fall to her doom.

The blogger dude reveals to the world all the wrong W&P is doing. On the helicopter overlooking the complete destruction of the city Yuki dissapears and no one remembers her. She leaves me with one parting gift though.

Karaage Special Memories Flavor.

Thank You for Reading.


#21

Random Screenshot Memories