Golf!! I recently went on a Three Post Journey playing all 19 golf games on GB and GBC. I also played some very, very early golf games afterwards to see how they compared!! Let’s talk about 'em.
Computer Golf! (Magnavox Odyssey 2, 1978)
This is the first golf video game as far as my research could turn up. There is no club selection, there is no meter, no wind, nothing. If anything it’s closer to pool, except you smack the ball with the side of the stick instead.
Early golf games were obsessed with making you move your Little Man around to chase the ball, and this is the trendsetter. The movement is incredibly slow as well.
Also, there’s a bit of Pacman 2 to this, of all things - your golfer will throw a fit if you hit a tree, dunk the ball in water, or…walk near a tree? Or accidentally bump the golf ball with your club?? It’s really weird and incredible.
(I turned on a CRT filter)
The hitting mechanics in this are fucking bizarre and it rules. The Magnavox Odyssey 2 only had a joystick and one button. That one button, when held, will make your little man pull back the golf club from whatever angle it’s at. In the above case, it would go away from the ball clockwise.
Then when the button is released, the little man swings the club and strikes the ball with that strength. It will go in a fairly intuitive angle based on how the club itself is angled when it hits the ball - in this case, northwest.
This is notably totally unlike golf in reality.
But it absolutely rules. I love letting my little man go “beep beep beep” for every degree, and then releasing to do a big windup and SLAM - there goes the ball!! wheee
It has good “whee” factor is what I’m saying.
Putting is totally unchanged from the regular game. Nothing about it is different. This also rules.
Anyway the game is great, but it only has nine holes (sad face). Turns out games can be about anything, and this interpretation of “Golf” is just as valid as any IMO.
LOOK AT THIS BOX ART
Miniature Golf (Atari 2600, 1979)
The game is 100% not in black and white, but for some reason the only screenshot that worked is in black and white. No idea.
Anyway this game is much the same as Computer Golf! in that it only resembles minigolf in the barest possible way. You move your Big Square around (here in the lower left) then hit “The Button” to smack the ball no matter where it is. Try to get in the hole while avoiding the moving squares and walls, basically.
Notably you cannot move your “club” outside of the screen, and your power depends entirely on the distance to the ball. The weird consequence of this is that about 50% of the shots are better off if you move your club the wrong way and bounce the ball off of a wall instead.
Extremely simple game but clever enough. I accidentally reset it so I moved on fairly quickly though.
Golf (1980, Atari 2600)
yo guess who stole all of the mechanics from Computer Golf! It’s this game!! Literally the same game except the holes are more boring and your golfer doesn’t freak out. There’s nothing else different.
I dunno, maybe the same people worked on this game? But it’s 100% worse than the Magnavox Odyssey 2 game.
Golf (1981, Interton Video Computer 4000)
(screenshots taken from youtube because apparently none of mine saved)
What the fuck is this console? Apparently there were like, 4 compatible computers that could all play the same games?? honestly, reading is not one of my strong suits so I don’t really know. I guess it’s mega German though.
But damn, this game. This game!
{{INSERT PUTTING SCREENSHOT HERE}} (nobody has filmed putting lol)
It’s ugly as hell! But it’s getting closer to the “modern” standard. Instead of playing from the top down, you are golfing into the horizon, then switch to top down for putting. Also you can pick clubs now using the included numpad because 80’s consoles were fucked up. Here’s the overlay for the controller for all you sickos:
Here’s the console itself with labeled controls for reference
So yeah, that’s Golf. It’s not a good game! But it’s fairly interesting.
The sad news is that I have a big timeskip here because I had a huge problem getting the Intellivision to work. I want to find the exact time we switched to the modern 2-tap system (as I have been calling it) - I suspect it is exactly the same time golf by Nintendo was released!! But anyway we’re skipping ahead 9 years for now:
My Golf (1990, Atari 2600)
Why was anyone releasing games on the 2600 in 1990?? I have no idea.
Anyway, this game is the first i’ve played in this section that uses the modern meter and…it sucks!! Each course is like, 3 screens long so you have to go view each of them and try and remember each screen so that you can hit the ball in the right direction!! It’s really boring and bad. By this time, golf on the game boy was better than this,
Every putting green is the same!!! Terrible.
Anyway that’s golf, if I play any more I’ll post here.
