Games You Played Today VIII: Journey of the Cursed Poster

Also yes this is one of the funniest things in the game…why does every single rooftop you can climb onto (Robocop climbs ladders by hovering 10 feet away from them) have stolen handbags and wallets on them. How does robocop know they’re stolen. Since half of old detroit is homeless your just constantly stealing money from struggling people. No wonder the old man wants to get rid of him…

I think the best thing in the demo is when you’re watching the monitor in the elevator with lewis and the broadcast ends and you get this like full frame uncanny valley reflection in the screen of Murphy standing next to her instead of Robocop. I liked that a lot.

Teyon’s terminator game is very weird and funny for similar reasons so it’s absolutely worth playing. i am probably going to pirate the robocop game at some point

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Okay some more demos:

Some Chinese action game: Can’t read Chinese, couldn’t make my way through the menus. Screenshots looked nice.

SecretArchives: Cackled when I saw the trailer, which is just a woman in leather chaps with colossal boobs and ass cheeks running around stabbing zombies. It sucks! It’s real bad!

Super Crazy Rhythm Castle: I’m bad enough at rhythm games, but throwing some Overcooked sorta stuff on top of one…nah, not for me. Conceptually cool, might resonate with someone.

Little Goody Two Shoes: Dunno what I expected from the trailer, but this game is kinda wild? It definitely starts with some horror game vibes (and likely has more, I just left off early before the end of the first full day), but the actual game is more like…almost like Harvest Moon? In that you’re running around town, doing chores for money, have to keep your stamina up (you lose a little bread icon per portion of day). There’s dating? And the chores are all little arcade minigames? And all of it is couched in weird, clashing shoujo fantasy art style that’s part storybook, part pixel art game, part arcade game, part chalk drawings, and a healthy dose of a filter I can only describe as “public domain Looney Tunes VHS your grandma got from the grocery store in 1989.” It…seems neat!

Another Crab’s Treasure: Y’all ever play Dark Souls…it’s like that, but you’re a crab that can jump around and use different types of trash for a shell. I put on a party popper and tried to use it to kill a giant crab boss and died. Whoops! Seems OK.

The Last Faith: Y’all ever play Bloodborne…but Metroidvania-ish I guess. Also seems OK.

I don’t know why I downloaded this Hollow Cocoon demo. All these PT-alikes are too dang scary for me.

I don’t know if The Thaumaturge is scary…got some spooky monsters in the screenshots, but it seems neat.

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post screenshots of the menus, i can help

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Purchased

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Another crab’s treasure is way better than it has any right to be (and is also more like Sekiro than dark souls which i appreciate). It pisses me off, though, because every single enemy uses the wind up → instant execution style of enemy attack exclusively, whereas the fromsoft games are very careful in which attacks are this kind and which are able to be sight read. You have to learn every attack by seeing it in action (and generally being hit by it) which is mostly fine for bosses, if a bit reminiscent of the worst tendencies of elden ring, but slows progression through the bulk of levels to a crawl. Normal enemies should have more sight readable attacks.

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I checked out the demo for “Real Web Legends: Carter’s Quest” today and was (As a gamedev myself) mostly astonished by the bravery required to set out to make a 3D Zelda as a solo goddamn developer. It’s every bit as janky as you’d expect, and I guess I’m not too enthusiastic about games that are as slavishly devoted to their inspiration as Carter’s Quest, But I really love the character design and animation in there. So much charm.

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Steam Next Festin’, probably part 1

Little Goody Two Shoes - look, I’m just here to sate my Hans Christen Anderson fetish and- what do you mean the demo ends immediately after she gets the red shoes? how am I supposed to get off without the ironic religious downfall borne from the character’s pride and hubris?

Maiden Cops - hi I played the beat em up made by Spanish(?) furries

furries (and I guess scalies, they don’t discriminate and clearly neither do I) who watched too much anime (in fact, they probably watched Hyper Police and KO Century Beast too many times) and who clearly like Streets of Rage 2 and Undercover Cops (which, hey, good taste) made a kinda stiff punchman but once I workshopped all the jank, I ended up thinking it was pretty okay. however I will cry myself to sleep knowing how bad the grappler character seems in the game (she is a cowgirl) (of course she has massive boobs). grabbing seems like a bad option in this game. in fact, approaching enemies seems like a bad option in general, an idea somewhat bouyed by the fact that you have a block button and the game has just defends

anyway, take it from someone who bought Panic in Sweetsland (don’t look this up), it’s perfectly fine

I guess in the next post it’ll just be actual pornographic games at the rate I’m going

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I’ve been consumed by Returnal even if I do not like it.

My PS5 Controller has drift. lol.

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big post incoming of demos i played on my stream for Steam Next Fest

Judero

the latest game in the works by Jack King-Spooner is both exactly what you’d expect from him, and also quite different. the stop-motion, handcrafted sensibility with extremely florid, extremely Scottish writing is there. the folk music on the soundtrack also really worked - def reminded me of a lot of indie music that was big in the late 90’s and the 00’s that i used to listen to, but maybe that’s because i fell out of listening to that kind of music. i actually said on stream that it made me think of the sort of mythological folk art this game is really trying to embody is the stuff that the Zelda games draw on. but this feels closer to the root - one of the folk songs even sorta sounds like the Kakariko Village theme to me.

but yeah, what’s different is that this game is not a surreal wandering simulator but is actually more of a hack and slash action RPG. you’re a beefy action figure looking guy who goes around and stabs ornery demon-looking animals with your staff, though you also have a bunch of different kinds of attacks and you can possess them in order to help you progress.

this is a game where different attacks require different combos (something that immediately turned me off… i guess i’m just not really a fan of button combos outside of fighting games), but there’s also an auto attack thing which i turned on. this game can be a little difficult at times because it’s pretty easy to accidentally bump into things and have it eat your health meter way down before you can get out. the save points are pretty generous, and there are health pickups you can find… but if you accidentally swing at them they disappear. this gets into some of my frustrations with the game.

so of course this game has boss fights. and i guess everyone feels okay about making extremely hard boss fights now because of Dark Souls, but i kind of hate it. maybe it would be okay if the underlying mechanics of fighting were a little tighter and more sound. but i really struggled on that last boss of the demo because the auto-attacks will just seemingly randomly switch in ways that put your character in harm’s way. i was trying to do either projectile attacks or quick slashes and then move out of the way, and the character kept doing incredibly slow attacks that locked my in place for a second or two, or did this aggressive lunge attack that immediately put me in harm’s way and made me get hit. it was extremely frustrating and felt kind of random, and like i didn’t have a lot of control.

eventually i did beat the boss - really easily? i suddenly was just able to stun them and do massive combos. which makes me believe the difficulty automatically adjusted to be easier. which i guess is one way to solve the problem? but it would have been nicer if i could have completed it in a way that felt earned, rather than kinda random.

but this is a demo and maybe these things will be ironed out in the meantime, i dunno. i really hope so, because the game really leans on this more than you’d expect for a Jack King-Spooner game and i enjoyed basically every other aspect of the game.

Mosa Lina

the first observation you might have about this game is that it looks like Baba Is You, which is true. it is a similar sort of visually simple but also chaotic puzzle game. but in terms of being a mysterious cryptic puzzle platformer game with mechanics you have to figure out yourself, it’s more in line with something like Starseed Pilgrim. you have four of a bunch of different abilities that you’re given randomly in each level, and your job is to figure out how to use them in order to collect the fruit on each level and exit.

i honestly really enjoyed this game. it has a sort of sense of mystery of figuring out the game mechanics that seemed more common of indie games 10-15 years ago, and i miss now. the janky ragdoll physics also made me think of a lot of 2000’s flash games. it’s just about playing around in these little spaces and fighting with whatever slightly absurd abilities you have to achieve them. the sensibility also feels kind of weird in a way that i like - the background music ambience reminds me of Aphex Twin’s Selected Ambient Works Volume 2 and the background rotates in kind of a nice way. the sort of chaotic surrealness makes the game feels like it has a distinct identity from a lot of other puzzle games in this genre, and feel just as compelling as Baba Is You or Starseed Pilgrim to me.

there’s not really much else to say about this one - but if you enjoy these types of games at all, i’d really recommend it. the full release is coming very soon (i think in another week or two, after steam next fest?) so i’ll post about it again on here.

goblinAmerica

as you might expect, this is a Cruelty Squad inspired? shooter that goes for maximum visual chaos. for the record, i’m a big fan of Cruelty Squad. but this one is very much in the camp of “i wanted to like, but found it really irritating” unfortunately. it starts with a vaguely condescending/unnecessary tutorial level that exposes you to the writing, which is weird and florid but in a way that is really hard to take seriously - because it feels so disconnected from everything else. it feels very undergrad-level trying to be edgy and colorful while not really knowing what it is.

i guess disconnected is the best way to describe the experience. it just feels like a giant, rough mess. there are cool moments and visual flourishes but the game feels so confused about what it wants to be. is it an immersive sim where you walk around and talk to the different goblin NPCs? (who all look the same and say pretty much the same thing). is a game where you have to play with speed to get to the end, so you can collect various medals and awards (which, then why would you put several secrets and side areas and NPCs to talk to if that were the case)? how seriously am i supposed to take the writing? how am i supposed to approach this game? and why would i want to engage when it just feels so rough and unpleasant in so many ways?

believe me, i want to like games like this. i want to support stuff that is weird and idiosyncratic in the midst of so many indie games that look identical and are all copying each other’s mechanics. and i’ve been a fan of several walking sim-oriented games that look kind of like this one. but i just found this one off-putting. it’s the kind of thing someone might play and say “Cruelty Squad was a bad idea” which really hurts me to my core, bc i love that game.

that said, it seems pretty early on and the demo only let you really experience two pretty short levels. so maybe some of these things will improve over time? but i dunno, the whole base of the game just seems confused. it doesn’t have the thematically coherent worlds of a Cosmo D game, or the tight (if slightly wonky) action of a Cruelty Squad. and i’ve found that the more work people put into making games like these, the more they’re probably resistant to criticism or change on them even if they would be massive objective improvements.

Octopus City Blues

this is one of those games that was kickstarted over a decade ago, and now seems to be finally coming to light. and it’s… really good! the writing is great - sorta like the goofier old LucasArts adventure games meets Phillip K Dick. you play an absolute loser character named after Franz Kafka who lives in this sort of dystopian sci-fi world filled with tentacles and giant creatures where you’re just kind of a pawn for other people.

in the demo you basically, at the behest of your employer who is basically controlling everything you do, walk around and gossip with people around the town about various things happening and try to procure information about the world in order to progress. the first major little quest was to find out info about these kinds of creatures that there are rumors a guy who owns a restaurant themed around those creatures are kidnapping and disappearing.

the visuals are so good - so detailed, yet feel really fully realized. there are Cronenbergian moments of body horror, and some darker themes going on in the story. it feels dense but still very accessible, and very sharp in its humor and characterizations.

don’t have much else to say here. but if there’s still some juice left in the game world that hasn’t all been squeezed out by endless clones and reboots and layoffs, hopefully this one becomes popular when it comes out because it is a very likable game and absolutely deserves it.

Holstin

i’ve seen this one make the rounds as viral gif/screenshot because of the admittedly very cool art style and the kind of isometric/third person hybrid camera mode for the combat. the first demo i played, though, didn’t feature any combat. you just explore a house that’s been infested by these large tentacle-like things that go away when light is shined on them.

the main mechanic of the house exploration was really just trying to navigate around the tentacles, and using the light you have via rearranging fuses and lightbulbs you pick up in the house to get to new areas and discover more about the world. honestly with how lovingly realized the house you were in was down to every detail, it felt like a joy. while the “indie top-down Resident Evil” aspect of navigating the game reminded me of Signalis, i really like the setting of this game more than the slightly generic anime robot sci-fi of Signalis. i obviously don’t know how the combat is - i didn’t try that demo. but if the exploration is this nice, and the environments are this lovingly-realized this game will definitely be a winner for me.

basically the only complaint is the two adult characters you encounter (the kid is surprisingly okay) are super aggressive in their writing and voice acting. there’s simply no need to make the main character’s assistant that much of a bitch when the general tone of the game feels more like a “take at your own pace and explore the environment for clues” kind of survival horror game. but this particular scenario for the demo is not supposed to be in the final game, so maybe it’ll either a) make more sense in context or b) they’ll tone it down, because it’s really the only thing i didn’t like about the game.

Peripeteia

a Deus Ex/EYE: Divine Cybermancy style dystopian immersive sim game. they really went above and beyond to recreate the feel of Deus Ex 1, down to the menus and interface and the feel of the movement.

as a fan of Deus Ex 1, you think i would love this. and yes… i really really want to like games like this, because this sort of style is something that i feel quite attached to. but it actually just made me feel uneasy. because the main appeal of this game to me were the absolutely giant empty dystopian environments. they feel very cold but very dreamlike, and like it’s almost incidental that you’re occupying them. i think this is great. the problem is i didn’t really get much else out of the game.

there is something here, there is something unique about this game. but like… the immersive sim elements did not really compel me much at all, they just felt rough and random. i wasn’t really sure what the game was expecting me to do at all. i never understood what caused enemies to even notice me, vs. just let me walk by - it felt kind of broken. sometimes abrupt loud noises or things would play without me having any indication of what was happening - i couldn’t tell if it was a bug or intentional. in general i felt like i was just sort of randomly beset by things happening that i wasn’t able to predict. it’s not just that the environment was hostile, it’s that it felt incomplete and confused. the combat felt really janky and not particularly fun either.

similar to goblinAmerica, i wish people would feel more comfortable just focusing on their strengths and making something that is mostly a walking sim/exploration game, because the massive scale of these environments is really impressive and i enjoyed wandering through them. but i guess we don’t live in that world currently. people want to make “their dream game” even though a lot of the elements that feel like a very poorly executed version of something else weigh down the unique things about the games. the total obsession with aesthetic above everything else some people in indie game world have right now is really going to come around and bite them in the ass, though.

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anyway, videogames are still here. and i’m glad i got to play all of these even if a couple of them left me cold. my endorsements of the bunch are Mosa Lina, Octopus City Blues, and Holstin. and Judero was good too outside of some frustrations with the combat. and Peripeteia at least had some memorable moments.

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I tried the PS5 Ratchet & Clank game. It’s fun, flashy, and technically impressive, but as usual it’s written like a bad children’s cartoon and every time any character says anything I find myself wishing for a game like this with no talking.

I don’t care enough to say more about it and this post already sums it up well:

I originally played the first Ratchet & Clank game despite my bias against 3D mascot platformers because I had liked Beyond Good and Evil and it seemed like the closest thing to it, at least in terms of visiting colorful alien worlds.

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re-played Doom Sigil over the past couple of days. Besides the remakes of E1M4 and E1M8 that Romero did a year prior to releasing Sigil, learning that these are the latest Doom maps he created since the two he contributed to Ultimate Doom, it’s sort of astounding how strongly they seem to progress the same twisted fucked up trickery he was reaching in levels like E4M2 Perfect Hatred. Like he had been practicing this all along.

I think the collection is overall great. I love the new art, the jaggedness of everything, and the crunchy red-to-black dithering that acts like an obscuring smoke. There is rarely a moment in the collection that doesn’t feel tense, which isn’t to say it’s non-stop shooting, but that exploration and combat feel equally high-risk.

It’s super impressive and replaying it has me very excited for Sigil 2 in December.

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I would contend this was made by mainstream monster girl and kemonomimi fans not furries. There are no snoots or obvious fur on anyone.

Pretty boring kinks on display too. Where’s the Vore? The inflation? The cat taurs? The conspicuous size alteration? The emphasis on the physicality of them being part animal?

It just doesn’t add up.

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Frankly I was going to imply they had plundered from the Monster Girl Encyclopedia because of the presence of salamanders but typing “furries and scalies” is easier and I’m lazy

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I watched the ending.

I can’t believe how stupid it is.

The bosses seem unfun.

The arcade mode (called Sisyphus Tower) is pretty fun.

I am in shock.

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more Steamin’ Next Fest

Battle Core Robots - this is Custom Robo except most of your attacks plant you in place so you end up spending a lot of time jumping and air dashing. also attacks have cooldowns, which, sure, moves in fighting games have frametimes and end lag and that stuff, but there’s no indication of when your cooldowns are up, so there’s a lot of guesswork and feeling your kit out; compare this to something like Virtual On or Senko no Ronde, where meters are always visible and you know when your options are available. melee seems bad too (the default frame’s super has anti synergy with the default melee weapon you get, which is… a choice). seems neat and fine otherwise

Asura the Striker - just go fucking download the demo and slowdown time and charge punch a boss in the face and then try to tell me this game is bad, I fucking dare you

Endless Alice - Gunfire Reborn, if it was third person and replaced the anthros with animes pulled from the hottest mobile games no one here plays

The Heroines’ Last Anthem - okay I know I joked about playing a porn game last post but, uh, I played a porn game

so the joke is it’s actually a pretty standard little platformer with light puzzle solving and exploration (by exploration, I mean you hump every wall and ceiling to find the areas the game hides until you broach them). so, unlike a lot of porno platformers with pixel art (which technically this game doesn’t have, it has tiny little Spline models whose textures feature big pixel art, but they still have that Flash animation tweening going on), where getting attacked leads to getting placed into a vulnerable state which then leads to… things (which, I could type an essay about this approach where the only way the player can get what they’re here for is by losing), instead the game part is hilariously chaste

instead, you find hidden items in the game part and have to buy H scenes using those from a gallery. this is A Choice. the sex is completely compartmentalized from the game. also the second unlockable scene is missing and crashes the game?

it’s fine? you could probably do better. go to DLSite and click on a recent bestseller. hell, DLSite prices are in yen so if you have United States dollars, you are feasting.

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Peripeteia is so rad, it’s got the proper eurojank dialogue AND the funicular from akira within the first 20 minutes.

The first computer I hacked had the password ‘fujo’. the game has not only a thief-style light gem but decibel meters built into the UI, promising for some wonderful thief style hijinks. Your default movespeed is somewhere in the realm of ‘doomguy sprint’ and you start with a cyber implant that makes you move even faster than that at the cost of battery power.

Deus Ex, Stalker, Fallout New Vegas mod scene, and texturing redolent of half life 1 all blended together in a game that feels self indulgent in the best way.

I can flirt with the cactus in my apartment

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Enjoying Fate/Remnant Samurai, musou combat packaged in a more Yakuza-like manner, Fate going back to the mage battle royale format that made it popular instead whatever the hell that mobile game is (I have a lot of teenage nostalgia for the series)… But it feels like the worst possible endpoint of the “can you pet the dog” trend, almost like someone set out to kill it.

Every location has a huge number of cats and dogs, feels like every third marker on the map stands for a cute animal. Every act of petting takes like 10 seconds of rapidly pressing one button, and then rapidly pressing it again for your companion who also wants her turn. The animations are canned, very poorly synchronized and unchanging. Basically every district of Edo, there are dozens available, has two sidemissions related to petting a certain number of dogs and cats. You recover some HP every time you pet an animal, but it’s such a laughable amount you feel it’s a joke at your expense.

In any case, every time I enter a new place I have to spend a few minutes servicing my feline and canine masters to cross another item off my quest checklist and it’s a horrible, horrible chore, basically the worst gamification of a human impulse I’ve seen, the only place you could push it further would be, idk, petting-related daily missions and rewards for sharing content that tags the official Can You Pet The Dog account on Twitter.

This was such an optimistic scenario

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yeah the twitter discourse around stuff like that has really decayed. people simply atrophied after 2020. a lot of people faking a smile and doing the same thing, but you can sense the diminishing returns. very disappointing

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So I looked this up, saw it was the guy behind Dujanah and immediately decided to give it a shot and… maaaaaaan this is mechanically a disappointing mess. The first time I tried it didn’t recognize my controller and I was stuck with the KB & M controls and like… WASD to move, click the mouse in five different ways for five different attacks, shift to dodge and somehow ctrl to block. My pinkie could not manage that and I went to write something about the controls on its steam forum and saw people mentioning using a controller.

With a controller it was more manageable but not enough sadly. Attacking twice in a row makes you do a dash attack which more often than not will dash you straight into danger if not damage, which is a problem given no enemy is killed in a single slash so you will be trying to slash multiple times. I saw a three hit combo in the trailer and I have zero idea how it is performed, the instructions included don’t mention how. Everything has too much HP including the bosses, I know exactly which one Ellaguro is thinking of and it is such a slog.

That said the presentation, music and story all seem very swell so I am hoping for a Soma-esque “turn off all the monsters” mode in the final game.

I also played the Jussant demo @Grandpa mentioned and it seemed fairly pleasant. I’m not sure it’s gonna work over a full game as I worry it could get a bit thin/repetitive but it was great for a demo.

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