here’s hoping they just “localize” it by rewriting the whole script to make about, like, obscure sectarian politics of 17th century england or something
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can’t wait to do a bunch of deep dives into the lore on wikipedia
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well fuck that game! i wanted to play it to try to learn about cars but it just dumps me in a shop with no guidance like im already supposed to know about cars.
the tutorial is like ‘change the oil’ but i cant use the oil changing thingie that it tutorialized me about right before to get anywherre near the car, i cant pop the hood ican only COMPLETELY REMOVE IT (AND THEN NEVER FIND IT AGAIN) every single object in the game i get a highlight to be able to clic k on it or ‘work on it’ but when i click ‘work on it’ a little green circle fills up and nothing happens. im just alone in a garage like a fucking idiot
so i skipped the tutorial (cuz maybe its busted, a lot of steam game tutorials are shit and dont represent the game at all cuz they were made before it. i had this problem with battle brothers and that cooking game i tried to play. the people who wanted me to play them were like DONT DO THE TUTORIALS THEY SUCK AND NONE OF THAT IS EVEN IN THE GAME ANYMORE) to do the normal mode and someones like ‘heres my car my son just drives it and wont get rid of it do the oil and tires’ and okay but the buttont o lift teh car off the ground doesnt work, the oil thing doesnt do anything again, i cant ‘work on’ anything for the car. the only thing ive succesfully done in like, two hours is answer the phone and remove the panels from the car.
i hate videogames again, i just want to play one thing for the rest of the year like normal
IM JUST GONNA BUILD GUNPLA AND CRY. I CANT STOP CRYING!!! WHY DO EMOTIONS DO THIS
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Eat your bangers and mash Kiryu.
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Arcade Archives Kangaroo (PS4)
(Original arcade game 1982 Sun Electronics aka Sunsoft)
There aren’t many games I would say I like, few I would say I REALLY like, and, if you had asked me before for any I loved, I would have stared at you blankly. And yet, after an hour of play, I LOVE Kangaroo–a hot, burning love.
The colors are weirdly streaked, the animation jerky and flickering, the sound odd, and your character sluggish. And I love it.
Ripping off the previous year’s hit Donkey Kong, your mama kangaroo climbs ladders, crosses platforms, and jumps gaps to reach her stolen sweetie–in this case her blindfolded child who, like you, wears boxing gloves. Mama dies from the slightest fall, walks slowly, navigates ladders loosey-goosey, and allows her child to be stolen after each level.
But she is a champ at punching. Monkeys. One punch reduces a child-thieving(?), pink-striped monkey to a crumpled mass. She can fend off a large, DK-like but extendo-armed gorilla–
who also wears boxing gloves, and steals yours. She can punch apples thrown by the monkeys, or apple cores they drop at you.
In four leafy single-screen stages, you start at the bottom, your child trapped above you. Giant strawberries hang down, worth points; ring the bell to add tomatoes (??), then other, more valuable fruits. Punch the monkeys and their missiles. Reach your child: their blindfold gone, they cry “Ma ma!” in katakana–no US “Mom!” version here. Then to the next stage; clear all four and they repeat, with larger monkey hordes.
There are random-ish elements. The ape appears if you go too long without punching–maybe just sometimes. Dropped apple cores may bounce differently, but I can’t be sure they weren’t dropped at different spots in response by my mama’s movements. And monkeys fling their apples at a seemingly random height,
to which you have to react with the corresponding jump or crouch–or, against their mid-height throws, a skill they gain in the 2nd loop, with a punch: a Pac-Man style intermission before the 2nd loop starts shows them throwing an apple core, and your kanga-mom punching it back to strike them, but I’ve only reached the 3rd stage of the 2nd loop, and they’ve only thrown (tomato-like) apples, which disappear when punched.
Sometimes, even midway through a stage, monkeys start flinging TWO apples. Sometimes they seem to take different paths.
All seems staid in the first two stages, if you don’t dawdle;
it’s the 3rd stage where things get crazy: punch out a whole stack of monkeys supporting your child’s cage;
take too long, and monkeys collapse a huge pile of apples above, raining sweet death.
The 4th stage looks plain: mere ladders and platforms. But 3 routes to the top: an agony of choice! And with platforms staggered at irregular heights, and numerous wide ladders easily intercepting the slightest upward tick on the stick, two monkeys offset beside me spelled almost certain doom.
Atari distributed Kangaroo in the States, and their video for arcade owners
and the flyer
describe the stick as “6-position”: no down-diagonals; it’s unclear from those whether it was an 8-way stick that simply didn’t trigger when moved down-diagonally, or whether it was blocked from those directions; Kangaroo - Videogame by Atari calls it “8-way.”
Atari also distributed Dig-Dug in the US at the time, yet it was Kangaroo that got at least two animated Saturday Supercade cartoon episodes:
(Video links from Atari Kangaroo: The elephant in the arcade – The Arcade Blogger .)
According to Wikipedia Kangaroo (video game) - Wikipedia , the musical riffs are classical or folk tunes, including a melody when you ring the bell, that doesn’t sound much like a bell.
The game is immensely frustrating. Up is too sensitive, causing accidental deaths. Mama’s jump takes longer to launch than it should. Monkeys drop apple cores just when you thought they weren’t going to, or throw at the height you didn’t expect. Failure means a stage restart, but not a fruit reset.
And yet, I always felt that on the NEXT try, I was gonna tear right up that tree, pulverize those monkeys, and rescue that kid. Playing was compulsion. I was gonna do it this time. I’m gonna have all its babies and punch all its monkeys.
9 Likes
oh cool, ben folds likes it
9 Likes
just tell me what to do, luc
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Need For Speed: The Run failed to load because it needs to connect to something called “Autolog” which is no longer online and The Saboteur crashes on quit if you set the video resolution too high. These aren’t fuckin games that use 3DFX or whatever the fuck. Gawd.
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just like working on a real car
lol yes that’s the same experience I had when I started Car Mechanic Simulator 2015 until I worked out what the different modes in the right-click menu did
I did learn some stuff, like sway bars all look the same and idk what they do and you have to take most of the running gear off to change them. eventually it becomes a meditative experience of disassembly, positioning your reticule on bolts so that once one is out you have a minimal mouse movement to select the next one
the mix of cars in 2015 is pretty fun, a bunch of regular hatchbacks trucks & sedans with the occasional DLC classic car (or a fucking Fiat 126). and the customer requests slowly extend you from “this part needs replacing pointing to part in X-ray mode” to “turns corners weird, check the running gear?” to “made a funny noise idk, you work it out”. buddy Im a regular mechanic just like you, no superpowers here
6 Likes
today in arma we quit our jobs at the mine and began following the orders of a fisherman to initiate our journey into the underworld…
(not pictured: Parker is actually Keanu Reeves)
we stole a farmers shitty lada, he went berserk chasing us with an axe, then we ripped off a crate of food from an unknown party, survived an ambush from their friends, and scouted a historical army fortification for the commie fisherman and his cadre by bluffing our way inside and saying we were inspectors from the altis historical society and needed to look at the masonry. naturally those army boys had no consideration for masonry but the fisherman said hed break out a guy being held there who can buy our food if we hit government targets for him in the future. plus we got three fat stacks of gta 4 money, and friendship with Communism! The good life is coming to us boys soon!!
9 Likes
butts PMC on the up and up
1 Like
after a brutal couple of days with work and other obligations i fucked around with forza horizon 5, only played a few hours at launch
it’s a very relaxing game but as everyone said at the time fucking hell the obsequious voice over calling me by my actual name every ten minutes with real “uk daytime tv personality before The Allegations came out” energy is disturbing
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Can’t believe you didn’t go for this.
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Ridge Racer 2 (PSP) (PS5) - alright, shit is getting serious now. i mentioned before that this may have dethroned R4 for me as the pinnacle of the Ridge Racer series (that said, i have still yet to play RR6, 7, 3D, Unbounded, or Vita so those ones are excluded from the comparison for now), but the more i ponder it, the more convinced i am - this is the best RR i’ve ever played. it’s just a flawless driving experience. it’s got every single track from all the PS1 games, plus the tracks from Rave Racer, in all the variants, forward and reverse - a total of 21 unique traacks (42 counting the reverse variants, which play totally differently). 4 different drift styles (Standard, Mild, Dynamic, and Special) allow you to customize how you like drifting to work in your RR games. 42 music tracks, comprising something like a greatest hits of ridge racer music across its first generation - all the highlights are here, including some banger remixes (the rotterdam nation remix is sublime). the racing is utterly perfect.
this game got a black eye instantly on release for a few reasons. firstly, it’s more like an expansion to the first PSP Ridge Racer game - the UI, engine, metastructure - it’s all identical. RR2 just finishes compiling all the missing tracks from the PS1 games and adds a few throwaway modes and some extra cars (losing a few special cars in the process, too). secondly, it’s a PSP game - as good as it was, it wasn’t given the attention a full console release would have received. and third - it was never released in the US or North America - Japan and Europe got it, but that’s it.
so, it got extremely mid review scores back in 2006, despite being possibly one of the greatest racing games ever made. if you have any love for RR whatsoever and haven’t played this game, you really owe it to yourself to try it - it’s legendarily good.
it has quickly asserted itself into my top 5 racing games ever, and might not be done climbing the ranks
27 Likes
addendum - please enjoy this 34 minute RR2 megamix:
https://archive.org/details/01.-dj-mixed-by-atsushi-ohara/Ridge+Racer+Soundtrack+Collection/2006+-+Ridge+Racers+2+Special+Megamix/01.+Ridge+Racers+2+Special+Megamix.flac
1 Like
critics in the 00s had some bizarre grudge against ridge racer, even more than they did for most japanese games
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drooling just reading this… it sounds perfect
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It just shot up my backlog thanks to this post
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If I can play this on a vita versus the console upres version, do you think that’s preferable? Or is this new port the best way now?
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