Games You Played Today Classic Mini

I played Yooka-Laylee for an hour or so

everything I have to say about my experience falters in the face that you can projectile vomit water and does a better job describing the game than any amount of words I can muster

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im almost done with real estate royale in yakuza 0 and man the media king shares drag super hard. i wish i couldve beat him at the dance minigame but its the only minigame besides shogi and mahjong i suck at!!!

Quantum Break is good as hell, how is it that out of all of you only parker was on this tip

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I am maybe the most positive about YL on the forum even if I think it is really bad, but it was interesting just to try the game on my laptop and see it runs at full speed with no-hiccups which never happens for me.

Gears of War 2 is still too fashy, but at least now that I am underground and killing monsters it is easier to pretend I am playing fucked up 3rd person doom instead of Warhammer but with far, far, less irony.

I have never played a GoW before this one, and itā€™s fascinating watching modern gameplay conventions fused awkwardly with older ones. When it works, it really works.

That being said, I just keep thinking about how much better this game would be if you didnā€™t stick to cover and just had a duck button or something. Cover feels bad, and charging out of cover feels good. But the game rewards you for being boring and defensive.

This game would be way better if it had some kind of platinum games scoring system that gave you points for aggressiveness and speed.

Upon further reflection, the main reason the game started getting better is because this entire game has been walking through gothic tunes. But sometimes the tube is disguised as an outdoor area, and Halo 3 (which I have also played recently) is just so good at fighting outdoors that gears feels really shitty by comparison.

Conversely, now that I am crawling through an underground gothic monster tube filed with cool waist-high cover snakes, the game feels very at home and natural.

Again, just wish the cover mechanics didnā€™t feel like shit.

Since they sold it as this big media crossover event whatever we all probably assumed it would be shit and wrote it off

ellen knows how you feel

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Not me! I bought it on release date and loved that shit. The whole game is like a shitty episode of that TV show ā€œFringeā€. Apparently the One X update isnā€™t all that great though.

When Ellen Page first walked into David Cageā€™s office to discuss appearing in A David Cage Gamesperience he had Ellen Page Pictures taped up everywhere.

David Cage had his minions create a fully textured nude Ellen Page model for the (obscured) (optional?) shower scene in the game. David Cage is a true artist who needs the nipples to be there even if the player cannot see them.

David Cage is building a world.

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Itā€™s a crazy formal experiment hung onto the plot of a TNT Original Movie told through Last of Us style walk & observe segments shot through with heavy superpower gunplay that is the natural evolution of Max Payne

now that i think about it detroit become human is chris crawfords STORYTRON realized in all of the worst fucking ways

storytron2-1

its all flowcharts and bad faces!!!

also while looking for that picture i see there is new chris crawford news!

last month chris proposed a NEW and BETTER system for interactive storytelling!
and of course, since its the fourth iteration of his GENIUS storytelling engines he titled his email a new hope

hahah the guyā€™s reply is basically ā€˜fuck off theres existing tools that rule and you dont know everythingā€™

Your efforts would be better spent helping us make this existing software better rather than fragmenting our efforts pursuing some boondoggle.

lol

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oh Chris

have you read his book? Thereā€™s a weight of old man grump in it you can only get if you live to 120 or spend twenty years in isolation, the hyperbolic time chamber of obstinate wrongness

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ive only read excerpts but its on my want to read list for sure haha

David Cage is sitting at his desk, and almost in a fugue, begins to look for an image. He canā€™t remember the words he types into the search engine, but, before he knows it, there is a photograph of the actress Ellen Page on his screen. Endless search result pages of photos of Ellen Page. And then he smiles. When asked about how many times this has happened, he is evasive. ā€œThis,ā€ says David Cage, ā€œis how everything started with Beyond: Two Souls.ā€

In Los Angeles, David Cage is fidgeting in his chair. Heā€™s about to meet Ellen Page for the first time and he is nervous. David Cage has decided he will not be starstruck by Ellen Page. He knows he wonā€™t stammer over his words or become afflicted with the awkwardness that comes with meeting a celebrity in real life. This is nothing compared to dreaming up the kinds of experiences he has become known for. ā€œWhen youā€™ve worked with David Bowie,ā€ he says, ā€œyouā€™re no longer afraid of anyone.ā€

But David Cage is afraid. Heā€™s afraid because he has spent the last 12 months thinking about Ellen Page, looking at photos of Ellen Page, imagining Ellen Page as his protagonist. In his studio, a 2,000 page script lies scattered with images of Ellen Page from the age of eight through to adulthood. What if the actress heā€™s about to meet bears no resemblance to the character he has spent the last year crafting? What if Ellen Page is not his Jodie Holmes?

He canā€™t remember the words he types into the search engine, but, before he knows it, there is a photograph of the actress Ellen Page on his screen. Are the words he put into the search engine ā€œEllen Pageā€? He cannot be certain. David Cage has been writing ā€œEllen Pageā€ all over his computer, text file after text file all filled with ā€œEllen Page Ellen Page Ellenā€¦ā€ for thousands of lines. But he still canā€™t explain why. And David Cage begins to dream again. Ellen Page suffering, Ellen Page dying. Ellen Pageā€™s funeral. He pictures a wall of photos of anatomically correct dead Ellen Page, in a plastic bag on a river shore like Laura Palmer. But he cannot help but wonder what if she isnā€™t like David Bowie, what if he is right to be afraid? Truly the mind of David Cage is a wondrous maze.

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Finished off Two Point Hospitalā€™s base campaign. By that point I had optimized room building and staff training so playing it after that felt more tedious than satisfying. Thereā€™s maybe two interesting hospitals past unlocking everything and they presented harder challenges than the last ā€œInner city millions of patients to swamp you (except more like swamp you with money).ā€ A fine spiritual sequel to Theme Hospital and I imagine the DLC does respond to those criticisms but Iā€™m fine with this stopping point.

Okay, I found the last paragraph here on a SomethingAwful thread from 2015. Where is the rest from. Did you write it? Is it from an honest to God magazine profile? Iā€¦ feelā€¦ like a real games magazine would actually publish something like this, God help us all.

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a friend sent me this once on steam while discussing indigo prophecy so i have to assume they got it from that something awful thread. it is one of the funniest david cage things i have ever read because it seems like it could be real so ive just had it in a text file for years. i have to assume they were editorializing a little

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this just made me think of David Cage trying to kill Reagan to impress Jodie Foster

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Ultimately I sorta wish Into the Breach wasnā€™t a roguelike, although it does lend a certain tightness of theme and mechanics that I enjoy.

Failure doesnā€™t inspire the ā€œletā€™s give this another goā€ in me like I think it ought to, it just sort of makes me feel dispirited. Not as bad as X-COM though, at least each campaign is short enough to not feel like a massive time-sink if it goes sideways.

I think Iā€™ll move on to the next thing, this was a nice palate cleanser.

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