I solved the daily Clues by Sam (Jul 22nd 2025) in less than 6 minutes
I’m sorry everyone
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i am playing too much satisfactory again
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this whips so fucking hard jesus lord
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Peter Weller still sounds really good as Robocop at 78.
He sounds…a bit flat, for the Alex Murphy segments.
I get it! He’s 78! I just remember Murphy sounding a little livelier. That was also 38 years ago, so 
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I can’t read the name Barry Leitch without thinking of this song.
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i played riven until i reached five switches of indiscernible purpose, and then i stopped
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also i was playing it on the ps5 so i got an achievement for knocking on a door, as the designers intended
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I have six of the gym badges in Pokemon X now. The remaining gyms are psychic and ice type and I have no critical type disadvantages so I will probably be fine. I think I’m 9.5 hours in.
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They weren’t kidding! This is the power fantasy side of the coin to Wario Land 4’s masochistic reverie. Big bucko zooms around like it’s no one’s business, beating the ever-loving shit out of anything that moves. We’ve got PILE-DRIVERS, SPIN-THROWS, SUCKINGGG coins…
Get lost in his face:
I love the way this game looks. Heavy use of squash n stretch, lots of low-res photographic background textures and dramatic lighting choices give it a particularly strange atmosphere.
I worry it may get a bit repetitive over time, as became the case for Wario Land 4 despite lots of level design gimmicks throughout.
The bonus puzzle rooms seem less cerebral here and more about seeing how well you can suffer precise platforming with some less than precise movement controls… An odd choice.
Plot seems largely incoherent although I did skip the intro text crawl so perhaps that’s on me. Guess I was just too eager to start clambering around on some balls:
Length at least seems mercifully short like a few other gamecube games (Pikmin and Luigi’s Mansion come to mind). This is also why I enjoy a lot of early game boy games, some of those you can beat in an afternoon if you get lucky! Love a game that respects my time, thank you.
I have to admit I’m feeling a bit nostalgic for the gamecube. What a funny lil console. Love that it had a handle and was such an unassuming shade of purple…
Also love how dedicated its first party offering of games were to not-so-subtly teaching children the quiet horror of the adult world: “Sorry, Mario can’t come out to play in the sun… He’s too busy being tried in a court of law!”
“Sure, it might sound fun owning a mansion but did you know Luigi can no longer sleep at night due to being haunted by the souls of the dead? You know what they say: No rest for the wicked!”
“Living in a town full of talking animals does sound nice, doesn’t it? Just wait til you meet your new landlord…”
“Hey, the guy who made Mario and Zelda has a brand new game for you to play! It’s a sobering meditation on the continued exploitation of our natural world and a thinly veiled cry for help about the perils of being promoted to a senior managerial position within a company!!”
If Donkey Kong Bananza came out on the gamecube, Pauline would probably be some sort of Cruella de Vil type who’d kidnap your entire ape family in order to mangle them into a highly profitable line of fur coats: “Hey DK, this KONG no longer has a FACE 
”
…
What was I talking about? Oh yeah… Wario World, that’s right. Uh, it’s pretty normal I guess… The pause menu’s music is a bit of a nightmare though:
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Most tragic part of that game is that the JP version has two separate forms for the final boss, whereas the EN version just has you do the first form for twice as long. Pity…
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Yeah, was a bit surprised there wasn’t some kind of patch already for the english rom to include the added content. I guess that probably isn’t the easiest thing in the world to implement though!
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Playing Three Wonders (CPS Arcade) and yelling at every uninspired indie throwback title WHATS YOUR EXCUSE.
That crazy early animation clockwork moon slowly revealing a disgusting human skull was nuts.
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To me it’s less that he sounds old and more like he’s having trouble doing a different take on the RoboCop voice. My suspicion is the voice direction for teyon games is not super great after playing most of em now.
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This is the follow-up to the game that had like, four different prominent goon characters that all had the exact same voice.
Anyway, it rules they got Weller for the games at all, I’m happy he did them. I still think about how they got Weller, Keith David and Stallone to voice Robocop, Spawn and Rambo for MK11, and then got a guy who does a…well, he does an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, if we’re being generous, for the Terminator.
I’m at the point now where the creepy Japanese androids and the cryo gun are in play, and it rules, this game rules. The former skitter around with terrifying rictus grins, the latter just makes whatever area you blast it in a huge frosty mess, usually with only the stumps of enemy legs still standing.
It’s probably not OK that they play a real gong-heavy song when those androids first appear, but it works. In a trashy period piece kinda way.
You can also hurl their katanas and the game does an absurd slow motion pause as whatever guy you hurled them at gets chopped through.
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Also, despite being a “smaller” game, they still have a few residential areas where you help people with absurd requests. There’s no real motivation to be nice like there was with the last game, so you can sort of be a dick without consequence (I’m presuming, we’ll see if it does the Animal House ending montage again).
Anyway there’s an achievement for being a dick to a little kid about his drawing of his sister as a police officer.
They also bring back some (original) characters from the last game, though I dunno how memorable most of them would be to anyone outside of, y’know, Pickles the junkie informant. The guy from the laundromat works in a laundromat in this game, and has you bang on a dryer until it opens.
The main villain is sorta dressed like Snake Plissken except instead of an eye patch he’s got some sort of unholy combo of a gamer headset and a jeweler’s loupe.
Edit: He’s also constantly quoting Greek philosophy? In a real gruff tough guy voice. It’s kinda funny.
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Okay last post, sorry for triple posting, but I posted that right before I went through the segment where you pilot a hijacked ED-209, mulching everything and culminating with a sort of mecha battle between it and three other ED-209s in a huge scale model of Delta City. Also you can get a game over in this section by trying to go down some stairs.
I’m mad I keep missing some side objectives (I’d rather miss finding documents than actual side quests, so at least it’s panning out that way), but I did find a board for the gun that just…ya don’t need anything other than your pistol. You never really do, but this thing becomes an auto firing, never needing to reload rapid fire cannon. It doesn’t seem fair, but it’s also almost the end of the game…it works out.
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Played some more Steam demos
Dead Letter Dept. is pretty good as far as creepycore horror goes. You work for a dead letter branch writing out text on envelopes and letters that can’t be read by a computer. Initially having to type this out was a bit of a pain and I was ready to bail almost immediately but I tried using Dragon with it and it worked with no setup. I was able to dictate more or less everything and it actually added to the creepiness of the game.
Eventually the letters that you are required to transcribe by eye start to include unnerving messages or the text is so small you have to zoom in on the letter priming you for a jump scare. Some letters just have really weird patterns on them like photocopies of people’s eyes or are so difficult to read it becomes scary to concentrate on deciphering text.
Having to read out the text rather than type it was interesting since Dragon by default has a text window which you must confirm transfer over from. While playing the game in fullscreen I can’t click the window’s ‘transfer’ button, but I can with my voice by saying ‘click transfer’. This gave the game a kind of tense rhythm were I had to slowly read out what I’m looking at whilst also pausing to say ‘click transfer’, having to wait a beat… and wondering if anything creepy would happen.
It progresses in the exact way you’d imagine regarding the content and types of messages you receive but it’s still effective.
I also played the Wander Stars demo which is a very minimal RPG inspired by mainly Dragonball and… very little else? It’s an homage to DB-isms almost to a fault since it feels like it can never really break orbit. You combine different adjectives and verbs to create attacks with different properties. The idea is you are yelling out your attack but the game has no voice acting. It’s fun thinking of combinations that are ridiculous but there is a strategy behind it since the words correspond to things like cooldowns, power multipliers, or elemental weaknesses. You very quickly stop thinking about what the words mean as a statement of anime parody. You also don’t ever really do a lot of damage and it never really feels like the attack measures up to the visual representation of it. I think part of it is the interface for selecting words is reminiscent of dialling a number pad with your mouse. I think there’s an art to making turn-based combat feel like you’re actually attacking and doing things.
There’s good animation but it only really exists in small chunks. Nothing is ‘fully animated’ and they have been smart about the frames they do use but it does feel like a lot of it is a cardboard backdrop sometimes. The world map looks like this
which is probably cost-effective but just ends up feeling like a browser game conversion and functionally it acts more like a roguelike. I’m not sure if the full game is truly rogue since doing runs in this would feel very repetitive but then you are constantly choosing paths that you cannot go back to. It’s a neat idea that feels a little too limited by its inspiration.
Also Akira slide! It never gets old, Akira slide Akira slide
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Resident Evil 6 slowplay still ongoing and halfway through Jake and Sherry campaign now. Was initially looking forward to this one since having a character who has his fists as a equipable weapon seemed cool it may actually be the worst campaign so far.
While Jake’s hand to hand style does come with a couple neat moves (that I did need to look up online to figure out how it worked) there is now a recurring Nemesis style monster but in the RE3 remake-sense of only appearing during scripted sequences. Much like the rest of the game there’s no consistency to any of these. Sometimes you gotta damage him a bunch, sometimes run away in a terrible Bandicoot/Dahaka chase sequence (these are becoming way too frequent) or do a stealth around where getting spotted means near instant death. In this latest chapter though he was substituted for raging tank which sadly didn’t make it much better.
I learnt online that the final fourth campaign with Ada only had co-op added to it with a later patch. In preparation for that I took finally broke down and got around to jumping through all the hoops to get the PS3 online again so I could patch it. Doing all that did make me curious about the “Agent Hunt” mode though which is online exclusive.
Basically it let’s you invade other players’ campaign sessions as random enemies seemingly purely to mess with them and maybe some in-game titles. Before hitting the button to search for a session I loudly announced that there’s no way anybody else is playing Resident Evil 6 on PS3 in 2025 while connected online and have enabled player invasions. Not 10 seconds later I connect to someone and load into their session. I can only spawn as some melee monster with the slowest most telegraphed attack in the world and am gunned down by Chris Redfield and his Tintin sniper basically as soon as I enter their line of sight. This repeats like 10 times until I quit. A few minutes later I get my first PSN message in almost exactly 10 years to the day saying only “sory bay”. Now this is gaming.
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jesus just had a flash of the exact part I quit on. that wariorware for metal gear solid torture minigames ass campaign
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One of those chase sequences kept me from beating Sword of the Berserk on the Dreamcast back in the day. If you’re gonna make someone run towards the camera you gotta make that not suck!
I’m a sucker for these dumb sites that do key bundles. Sometimes they’re good. Sometimes you add something to the bundle because it brings the overall price down by adding one more thing. Sometimes you wind up with DreamWorks All-Star Kart Racing, a racing game so dire I think a child playing it would succumb to a deep sense of melancholy within seconds.
It’s got zero sense of speed, which ain’t great for a racing game. The default difficulty is probably too hard, in the next lowest I lapped the 8th place racer as they drove back and forth perpendicular to the track.
Honestly that stuff sucks, but it’s not the worst thing. No, contrary to most GameMill releases, they decided to have voices in this thing, but of course not the real deal actors. And they never fucking shut up. The most lifeless Shrek you’ve ever heard. A decent Jack Black impersonator who wears out his welcome in about ten seconds.
If you fall off the track what appears to be a jpeg of the DreamWorks logo kid fishes you back onto the course.
Anyway hey surprise the kids game from a company that calls itself “GameMill” is bad.
Just…don’t be me, folks…
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