games you played today: winning eleven

Revisiting Wario Land 4 at the moment. I’ve played bits of it and the other games in the series before and only found them to be mostly just okay but was reminded of the anxiety-fuelled escape sequences in 4, along with its delirious sound design, and felt the need to come back to it.

I think part of what bumped me off it before was that I was expecting, what with Wario’s movement being what it is (very speedy and momentum-based), that it would likewise play quite smoothly but it really is kinda the opposite. You move Wario through a level like a literal bull in a china shop, clumsily bumping into small enemies and getting his ass stabbed in the process, the screen always too confined to ever let you make the best use of your speed. I used to hate this kinda thing in the 2D Sonic games but here it feels a lot more appropriate what with Wario being characterised as a clumsy, selfish idiot. He wants to steal all this ancient treasure from a pyramid and in the process gets traumatically sucked into vortexes to other worlds, awakening dark evils (boss fights) in the process. It’s all weirdly engaging as you repeatedly squeeze this desperate, money-obsessed ratman through a series of increasingly complicated and confusing mazes, some made of literal garbage, all the while regularly hearing his distorted, tormented yells as he once again gets violently deformed by an attack from an enemy or hazard. A lesson in hubris for our dear Wario…

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Sidenote: also really fascinated/disturbed by the collectible sound collage CDs in each level that you can listen to and the hidden elder abuse puzzle rooms featuring the scientist guy from The Frog For Whom the Bell Tolls… Absolutely unhinged game.

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