Final Fantasy 7: The Original, The Remake, The Legacy

there’s just a lot in this game that reeks of “throw it in because it’s HIP and EDGY”, and the charming failure of adapting some of those things makes this remake on track to be a grim-dark reboot with no humor or soul.

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Chocobos:

Classy explanation, thx! Nobody (in their right mind) will ever ask me what a chocobo is, but now i’d have a good answer.

there’s a whole lot of garbage in the game that could go with no one missing it, to be honest. I mean, yeah, we want Cloud the cross dresser, the strangely affecting Turks lost somewhere between yakuza and three stooges, the gold saucer, barret-the-gun-arm’s awkward descent into half-hearted pacifism, hojo – all of that. but there’s also a solid 25 hours of this game that no one remembers because it just consists of you running in circles around an empty world map stumbling between increasingly incoherent flashbacks and learning all the things you don’t want to learn about all the characters no one cares about. there’s an actual slap fight mini game between Tifa and a character that I dare anyone in the world to remember existed. there’s jenova like four separate times.

I wish this were a remake being directed by someone who cares, because there’s an opportunity to make an actual different FFVII that could carve its own place in the world. but we’re getting Nomura. and not just Nomura, but a Nomura who is clearly uninterested, and oh yeah, also directing the two other games Square is making that anyone cares about at the same time. and we’re getting Kitase, who despite being the real Man Behind the Curtain in FF-ville, is probably by this point not much but Square’s chief Company Man, tasked with making sure everything lurches forward without exploding.

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If it helps Disc 3 is just the last dungeon. That’s all it is.

This is my biggest gripe with the game. I adore all it’s other eccentricities but I don’t care about Nanaki’s father or Cid’s failed space expedition. The game’s commitment to explaining absolutely everything is its biggest failing.

Most of the actual ‘lore’ of 7 is well hidden and somewhat understated (as much as a teen melodrama can be); the optional stuff about the ancients at icicle inn, the secret cutscene in the shinra basement, lucrecia’s cave etc. I’m certain this will all be dealt with heavy handedly in the remake.

I hope they keep the battle arena. Fighting to the death as a poisoned, confused frog for entertainment whilst a colossal meteor hurtles towards the planet epitomises the FF7 experience.

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does anyone actually like nomura

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Possibly not even Nomura

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I think if somehow this videogame remake series manages to reconstruct every environment from the original game in an engine with a rotatable camera it will be a real and true triumph. With many lucks they will look/feel exactly as they do in my up-rez’d and faded memory/teenage dreams. I think that’s about where my internal bar is set atm. A little disappointed we will have to wait years to get out of grimdark Midgar and most likely the entire project will be Shenmue’d after the second episode.

I was extremely impressed by the environments in the gameplay trailer, actually! I don’t want to be excited for this game but I am. I hope they use the episodic format to change the game’s structure a bunch… what if there wasn’t even a world map? Like, they leave Midgar, and the next episode has them chillin’ in Kalm. I have nothing but love for the old JRPG format of turn-based combat and world maps, but if they want this game to feel at all “necessary” (as in, why not just play the original game again) they should make it as different as possible.

For a second I thought they were lifting FFXV’s battle system wholesale, but thankfully it seems to be Kingdom Hearts instead. KH’s combat is trash, but it’s pleasant enough and shouldn’t get in the way of sprinting through the game as fast as possible to see if cloud and sephiroth kiss this time.

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feel like this is probably going to be more aptly described as an advent children prequel

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speaking of kalm and the areas after it, i wonder if they’ll keep the hilarious “midgar zolom” translation

Nothing to really add at the moment except that I’m surprised I ever assembled the game’s narrative into something understandable. Or, I’m not sure I ever did. There was a time when I’d go onto sites and read explanations of the plot. This was a time when it was very easy to interpret incoherence with complexity. It might’ve only been years later when I realized that you encounter at least two Sephiroths throughout the game, not counting Final Boss Sephiroth; and, actually, I’m not completely sure that even that’s true. Final Fantasy VII, or: A Case of Too Many Sephiroths.

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actually that’s a cute idea. mixing up things with throwing names into games who’d you like to see make gametitleX.
Like, I’d love to see, e.g.:
Nomura’s Gran Turismo.
John Romero’s Tennis.
Keita Takahashi (the Katamari-guy, iirc spelling/name right?) doing a Eurotruck Simulator
Inafune’s Collar Duty
Hironobu Sakaguchi’s Ridge Racer
Hideo Kojima’s Chu Chu Rocket
Itakagi’s Tekken (seriously, the h4ter-level would be through the roof here…)

oh, and last but not least: Shigeru Miyamoto’s Last of Us.


and what the hell

[quote]I hope they keep the battle arena. Fighting to
the death as a poisoned, confused frog for entertainment whilst a
colossal meteor hurtles towards the planet epitomises the FF7
experience.[/quote]
i remember nothing of that, and it makes the game sound way better than it should. if this makes it into FF7-3 (gonna have three games b’cause they will axe it as noted already), someone 'ping me when it’s done.

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oh and just when clicking I remembered that Nomura did at least one game that’s arguably good:
TWEWY/The World Ends With You.

He produced it/slapped his name on it, but the … contemporary dress-code tells you a thing or two about his influence…

Oh yeah Gold Saucer had a lot of things. There was a snow boarding mini game, a chocobo racing game, a motorcycle racing game and even a game where you had to shoot hoops for points. Like, with a basketball and everything!

I kind of want to see them try and do a modern take on that shitty tower defense part of the game at Fort Condor. Also I vaguely remember a part that had something to do with dolphins and trying to get them to sing or something. I want Squeenix to bankrupt themselves all over again packing the remake to the gills with weird crap like that but I doubt they will.

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It’s like hey cloud the planet’s dying man, Jenova is loose and Meteor gets closer by the hour we gotta do something! And Cloud’s all like nah just hang on a minute I want to go practice my jump shot in between bouts of animal husbandry.

And then it doesn’t matter anyway because the dude has time to get amnesia, go missing, get found, and regain his memory before fighting the final form of Sephiroth/Jenova. Man guys remember when Final Fantasy used to be cool /jk

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All of Nomura’s fashion is stuff that was sold at trashy harajuku/shibuya stores for years. Not even the good trashy harajuku/shibuya fashion stores.

I don’t mind it sometimes. I think the constant hatred from the west is a little weird. Nomura Batman was alright.

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Upper floors of 109 Men’s etc, yeah

Reference

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