E3 2018: 15 years of no new console F-Zero

King of Posters
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I didn’t see a thread and That Time is rapidly approaching

Are you ready

to use selectbutton

to talk about video games

E3 is a trade show, pit of suffering and despair and, as of last year, a public convention where people pay money to wait in line, centered around selling you vidcons in various forms

Here’s your goddamn presser schedule, the only things that truly matter at E3

timetable3gu96.png980×874 87.1 KB

As you can see, even though E3 doesn’t start until Tuesday, it actually starts ON FUCKING SATURDAY when EA tries to sell you loot boxes or whatever the joke is now

On Sunday, Microsoft tells you about how many games they don’t have, Bethesda talks about games from the 5 IPs they own and

THE RETURN OF THE DEVOLVER DIGITAL TOTALLY LIVE PRESS CONFERENCE/SHITSHOW

On Monday, Squenix parlays their newfound goodwill into a thing, Limited Run announces games that will sell out before you know they’re on sale, Ubisoft will continue lamenting the loss of #girlwood, PC gamers will continue thinking they’re better than everyone else and Sony shows you footage from 4 (four) games and probably won’t have a female throat singer again

Finally, on Tuesday, as a prelude to the running live Treehouse coverage, Nintendo shows their E3 Direct, a chunk of which has already leaked because someone found out they uploaded a Fortnite update and icon to the eshop servers, so look forward to not being able to access the eshop on Tuesday

You may now use the rest of the thread to talk about why games are terrible and also shitpost when conferences and pressers and videos are going

OR

You could head on over to the selectbutt Discord and shitpost in real-time

You can watch all of this nonsense unfold on like, every goddamn video site on the internet, your console, your phone, just fucking everything. I recommend watching the Giant Bomb crew talk over the conferences, which will probably simulate this thread, but with more wit.

EDIT: A TABLE OF CONTENTS

EA TALKIN’

MS BUYS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS AND ALSO ANOTHER SOULS GAME

WE PORTED SKYRIM TO THIS THREAD, SHITPOST TO LEVEL PERSUASION

THEY SPRAY PAINTED A DREAMCAST

THESE LAZY ASSHOLES JUST PLAYED TRAILERS FOR HALF AN HOUR, BUT THEY HAD KEITH DAVID

DANCING PANDAS AND PIRATES

MURDER AND MORE MURDER

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felix posted that grip video, that looks like a good 21st century take on the f-zero X formula x wipeout x extreme-g

this.
took me until the end where they show the logo until i realized griP, not griD… ah well…

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Pretty much the only reason I’m even aware of E3 anymore is because I wanna see more Death Stranding.

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waiting on news re:ace combat 7+VR.

Microsoft, you better give me forza horizon:hong kong or mainland china edition, with half of the roster of cars being Chinese knock-offs from BYD, Qoros et al, and if the radio stations aren’t having jolin tsai, jane zhang and 24 herbs on heavy rotation, you better not turn up at all.


OK, that would also pass as tried at least.

if SQEX doesn’t announce that Platinum games is doing a new Chrono-series installment, i will be sad.

Watchdogz 3 announcement is a must. Plottwist will be that you are in a simulation and must break out of the sim, only to find out that the real world is no fun, and the you end up goin all Shenmue 1, and hang out at the arcade all day, until you have to hack the AI from blume, to prevent them from taking over London/Yurop.
Surprise Rayman announcement incoming, shocking reveal that it is a rayman kart game that will be better than Sonic R:Kart 3.

Sony… hm. dunno.

PC gaming show will be an interactive website of gpu prices that’ll start a riot that spirals out of control.

Nintendo… doesn’t need to care, nor do I care, who’s this EA and Bethesda?




this starts to sound like the 20xx predictions topix we are doing every year, yeah, i realized this before clicking reply, but it’s too late anyway, so #post

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I have too many games to play already. None of the leaks or rumors have been anything interesting to me either so I think I’m going to take a nap instead because boy am I sleepy right now.

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the western version of the latest kawazu joint is at this thing so lets turn this into another kawazu worship thread

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who’s devolver again

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Is this confirmed? Kawazu implied an English version would come eventually but made it sound like they’re focused on getting it out in Japan first. I can’t find any official announcements of it being at E3.

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I am curious to see what the two games are that Atlus will announce. They’re probably things I won’t care about. I wanna see more SMT V and Hashino’s new fantasy RPG.

I had a dream about SMT V the other night. It was a little too derivative of Nocturne (taking place in parallel to Nocturne), but it was also very Nocturne, so I liked it.

Anyway, Atlus will probably be announcing Persona Q2 (ugh) and, like, another Arc System fighting game when what I actually want is Persona 6 and somehow Yamamoto Sayo is in charge of it so the story is sufferable.

I’m mostly glad I’m going to be at my sister’s wedding this weekend so I won’t end up watching these sick affairs. But I always enjoy them a little, too. And I will definitely be behind on the Discourse come Monday.

Gamers is hell.

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The 2 games Atlus announced today are both Persona dancing games.

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sick writeup, notbov, that was sick

I’ll probably get balls deep into E3 coverage because I’m feeling it this year, after ignoring it for years

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what i want the parking lot of e3 to be: free drug samples, effigies of auteurs being burned, pamphlets promoting a ‘people’s gaming’, a 400 tb ssd with every AAA game on it you can just walk up and eat out of, urinals with the top paid youtubers faces on them, kenji eno psilocybin seance

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Oh wait. I thought those were already announced. Well hell.

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fuck yeah

happy holidays

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Can’t wait to see what kind of trouble Mario and the gang are going to get in to next

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Atlus has confirmed its two new titles to be Persona 3: Dancing in Moonlight and Persona 5: Dancing in Starlight. Read more here.
Read more at Sega and Atlus announce E3 2018 lineup, includes two Atlus titles to be announced June 7 and Catherine: Full Body trailer [Update 2] - Gematsu

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I’m looking forward to Sony’s “deep dive” on their four big games:

Spider-Man
Ghosts of Tsushima
Death Stranding
Last of Us Part II

And I’ve heard CD Project has a couple rooms rented out on the show floor to presumably give press-only presentations on Cyberpunk 2077 so I’ve got my fingers crossed that that rumor turns out to be true.

I think Ubisoft is going to show off some more of their pirate game that is basically Black Flag but without all the Assassin’s Creed bullshit.

Rumor has it Crackdown 3 got delayed again, this time into next year. Maybe Microsoft will release some more OG xbox back-compat games? Or something Halo-related more likely. What is Microsoft even doing. They have the Most Powerful Console Ever and they’re not really doing anything with it.

Nintendo needs to hurry up and announce a Switch port for Super Mario 3D World because I’m getting impatient.

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More👏Sony👏Corpse👏Trees👏

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Rollcage is back?!?

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Pillars of Eternity: now for PSVR