blood will tell (ps2)
unglamorous, kinda serious, not-very-good sword-fighty time with a compelling narrative premise.
bullet witch (360, pc)
yall know bullet witch. kinda dumb, kinda weird level scale, the shooting is really interesting (especially in comparison to contemporary shooters) because of how plain and bare-bones it is, but how good it is also. this is important and will come up in other games on this list.
chaos legion (ps2)
extremely dumb punching time. there are too many enemies and they take too long to kill and do too much damage and it’s a brown-grey slog of doing the same few attacks and trying desperately to claw your way through unfair/rushed level design and awful bosses. i love it.
there are a million enemies and they’re all the same and you will fight them for a thousand years across maps that are all lumpy nothing. oh and sometimes u fly on a dragon and it’s not very good. apparently the music is good but i confess i don’t remember it.
dynasty warriors (various)
mowing the lawn but the grass is ye olde chinese warriors.
earth defense force 4.1: the shadow of new despair (ps4, pc)
god this game rules so hard. big and dumb and dumb and big. sometimes when you shoot a whole pile of enemies at once the entire game slows down to like 5 frames a second until all the physics is finished and it is so good. Extremely frugal asset-use is there purely to accommodate the action; nothing feels wasted, everything is rough as hell and it’s beautiful.
similar to bullet witch the shooting in this is stark and clean and without frills. every A-press fires a shot, so your fire-rate is limited only by how much u don’t want carpal tunnel. and when you do unlock the automatic-fire upgrade, the rate is slower than you can tap until it’s fully upgraded (an enormous time-sink). anyway this game slaps so damn hard, but also it feels like it was put together in about 5 minutes.
ghost in the shell: standalone complex
like p.n.03 the action is honest and simple and rustic. unlike everything else all the level design reeks of love and care and artistry and is thus too refined to qualify as true trash, but it is definitely kin to trash, if only distantly and in parts.
definitely trash, but in a way that only something really really expensive can be trash. i hate so many things about this game and it’s sequels that I’ve played but also the sound effect for hitting an enemy wearing armour is so so so so so so so so so good.
I’ll add more later but I’m tired and hopefully u get the idea. pls discuss and add your own suggestions.